Is this not the best and most godly way to end the holiday weekend?

ROTFLMAO!!

Thanks Thrice! I needed that!!! Yes, we should end all religious holidays whilst laughing at the participants...if its any consolation, I told him this St. Peter will be locking the gates tight when he heads towards them!

OMG my sides are splitting. He actually had his daughters get up in front of church to say 'teats'?!? He thinks that withholding candy will make them holy and pure in the eyes of his deity?!? Sheesh, he could at least let them eat a chocolate cross. I saw some at Walgreen's.

(I'd also like to point out the arrogance of assuming his deity gets to judge those who don't follow it, and the inherent immorality of getting off on the thought of one's fellow man suffering for eternity.)

I predict some future therapist is going to be very, very rich someday.

Thanks so much for sharing, this is the best humor I've seen in a long time. I'm saving that one.

I'm 'teatering' on the brink of unrecoverable hilarity. This poem is a good argument for blank verse, something which I never thought I would be advocating. Good try but the response to 'teats' was completely predictable.

The teats poem is hilarious!

toilet sit. change in eating habits and daily activities alter your regular pattern. so...take note of when you usually take a poop during the week and on weekends make a point to sit on the toilet for at least 10 minutes and chances are you will go. this is what my doctor rold me and it works for me!

Okay, I finally had to critique this guy's work. Thanks for sharing this. I hope nobody gets their teats in an uproar about what I said.

TEATS!! I did see that! I'm the second answer! Teats, teats, teats, I think that's my new favorite word!

Lovely! Beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful poem about Easter.

Better dip that chocolate wafer in milk before you choke.

I always knew that chocolate saved people from insanity.

I'm don't like rice much, so that paradise he talks about sounds a bit like hell. If I eat chocolate I won't go to hell!!!! YAY!!!!

Oh Say, on this holiday, the lord I have forsaked.

Because instead I chose to eat myself, thrice-baked.