What is it like to be adopted?

Honestly, too many and far too serious to answer in a forum such as this.

For some time the accepted current theory was what's known as the '7 key losses':

1. Loss

2. Rejection

3. Guilt and Shame

4. Grief

5. Identity

6. Intimacy

7. Mastery/control

But even these don't really touch what's been shown through current research into the disruption of neonatal bonding between mother and child and the neurochemical effects. While this doesn't discount the prior thinking, a general view of Attachment Disorders that manifest differently is being taken seriously.

Some very basic articles and essays in to this can be found at:

http://www.nancyverrier.com/prim_book.php

http://www.keepyourbaby.com/articles/l3_reform_pri...

http://library.adoption.com/Emotional-Dilemmas/Ado...

http://www.mindspring.com/%7Ejkovach/letter.html

http://library.adoption.com/Parenting-and-Families...

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/artchemistry.sh...

These are just a start. I hope you find some useful.

For someone who has four kids you seem to have too much time on your hands, thinking about other people's lives and families like it is something that concerns you. Perhaps you should pick up a book, educate your brain a little and spend meaningful time with your children instead of trying to figure out things that are probably way too complicated for you. Adoption is a complicated process and not easily understood by simple minds. I am adopted, and very much my adoptive parents' son. This is a fact. Not something for a stranger online to question, understand or debate. It is not a question or a controversy. It is a reality and I am not going to waste time trying to explain it to people who do not want to listen or think, just rant and act like they know so much about an issue they haven't even bothered to unsterand. You already made up your mind. You hate adoption, children are not their parents' children (though the law would be to differ) and you are right because you are a precious little mommy. Here's your cookie, now go play.

I was adopted at 3 months of age. I'd say I was like any other child for the most part but I had issues associated with adoption. Wondering who and where I came from. My personality too, is more like that of my birth family rather than my adoptive family and I can honestly say that I didn't fit the mold my adoptive parents had in mind. I also always carried with me a secret desire to know my biological parents and when I became a middle age adult I took the leap to search and found them. I suspect too that I have attachement difficulties which present in my relationships. I've always had a difficult time believing that I am loved or loveable.

There are several answers to this question. It depends on the child and their circumstance. Where they came from, what kind of home they grew up in, how old they are, the type of family adopting them. All of these factor in to how a child handles being adopted.

I was adopted when I was 7. I have 3 siblings who were adopted with me. We grew up very poor in a sexually and physically abusive home. Our circumstances allowed for us to transition into being adopted much more easily than for other children. We didn't have it easy when we were small and for a family who wanted to love and care for us was a dream come true.

All children will go through some type of withdrawal from their biological family. They will either act out emotionally or physically. In time, with patience and understanding, they will eventually come around and stop acting out. Sometimes, it's just to see what they can get away with. Other times, it's because they are having a hard time coping with the adjustment.

Again, each child is different, so to expect a specific reaction is impossible to predict.

i was adopted at birth and i think i have come away reasonably lucky. i had the most problems with i am very outgoing, outspoken, sometimes loud and borderline bad girl. in high school i was the in some trouble, 80's teen stuff, and i love to dance, loud music, art, going out, well you get the point. i am also quite arguementative.

my family was quiet, country folks. no arguing, swearing, staying up late, drinking any of that. we went to church on sundays, all ate a meat and potatos meal, every meal. my dad worked and mom stayed home. my sister was on the honor roll, went to college, made the deans list, married her high school sweetheart and had a great job.

basically they thought i was crazy. in their eyes i was (am) crazy. so other than the lack of a common ground i had a good life. my parents have been married for over 50 years, you know ward and june cleaver.

i first talked to my birthmother on the phone and i think it took all of about 3 minutes before i was laughing hysterically because my whole personality suddenly made sense. i was a carbon copy of her. over the years my family and i have agreed to disagree. i am not like them and thats ok.

i have found over time that i do seem to have some problems allowing people to get and stay close to me. i cant swear it has anything to do with the adoption, i have been screwed over by people and that may be the problem too.

overall, my motto is adoption didnt make me who i am, it just gives me a description of where i came from. its just descriptive. i have a very positive outlook on adopotion

attachment issues

ok i was addopted when I was five and Iwould have to say to many to count.