rachael

how can members of an afamily justify judging and shunning a child on the reasoning that they are adopted? the adoptee didnt make that choice, they didnt chose to be adopted, that decision was taken from them. how can other members of their afamily blame them for choices they had no say in?

ok, i have not been very lucky on finding the info on some research. i am hoping you guys can help me.

i am looking for video, info, personal memories, what have you on joe burton, a former blazers player.

there is actually an award named for him, its a scoring award.

can anyone help me out? any tidbit you have would be most appreciated.

do you feel grateful for NOT being aborted?

not trying to be baiting here, but seriously, every person on the planet had the potential to be aborted. legal or not. and for that same old song and dance about being a grateful adoptee is very frustrating.

it just amazes me that anyone could make such a comment to ANYONE. it seems really out of line, no matter who you are

my daughter is interested in a degree in crime scene investigation, but i am confused about what degree she will actually need. we have found criminology, forensic medicine, a bachelors in science, all types. but i don't know what to focus on.

can anyone clear this up for me? maybe give me a start point? thanks all!

my husband and i have custody of his 3 children from his previous marriage. we have had them for about 8 years, they were 2 (twins) and 4 when she VOLUNTARILY gave them up. every year at tax time she claims to want them back. this time she claims to have talked to a lawyer, but only wants the twin girls, not her older son.

she has made many hallow promises to them, like own rooms, pool, ponies many material things, none of which she can afford. the twins believe her and are wanting to move with her.

what are her chances of getting them?

no abuse, neglect on our end. both of us are employed, steady jobs. she has been through many jobs over the years.

this only happens at tax time, but i think she may be serious this time.

has any adoptee had the experience of your parents biological child (your siblilng) becoming ill with a disease that runs in their family and your feel ashamed or guilty because it wasnt you?

or maybe to make it more clear, do you feel guilty that you dont have this disease in your genetic make up, but your adoptive sibling is now suffering from it?

have you learned something importent from y!a adoption?

i have learned more than i can even put into words. some good and some i could have lived my life rather well without ever knowing.

i need a little help, i asked this once before and didnt get much resonse. so here it goes again

can the biofathers give me a little insight on your side of the story?

the bmother is always the forerunner of adoption stories, for obvious reasons, but i really want to hear the other side. what goes through a bfathers mind? how did it affect your life?

any input is appreciated

ok, in a country where we are basically unable to take responsibility for our actions, how do we change the mindset that you cant buy and sell babies?

i mean, clinton never inhaled, reagan 'didnt recall', this mind set comes through in the highest level of our society. how are we to reach the millions of people involved in adoption?

this brings me to point two of my question, i understand the ideals of making a serious effort to keep children with the biological family, but how much should be responsibile for anothers actions?

i have 5 children of my own. had my first when i was barely 18. i graduated 6 months pregnant. i took on the mother roll of my husbands children when his ex decided they were 'too much', we have had custody for 8 years now. and we have a son together. my daughter is now 17, if she gets pregnant, should i have to take in the baby? i still have many left at home to care for. this baby would take away from what i can provide for the children i have already

i will probably get fried for this question, but it has been nagging me.

many speak that adoption is not to 'fill a void' for an adult. that the childrens best interests should be first and foremost. i completely understand this, children are not supposed to bought and sold. and i agree, but....

lets say for the moment, that aparents that are adopting to have children because they cant are erased.

where would we unwanted/unable to be cared for children go?

there are only so many people in the world that could afford to take in the children, only for the sake of the children, not their own wants. so where would that leave the rest of us?

forced to live with bparents that cant/wont care for us?

foster homes (again, they will be limited over time too)

i do not mean to debuke any beliefs here, i completely understand we are not a 'sale item' but if there wasnt people that wanted us for their own reasons, what would become of us?

is it just me or is anyone else sick and tired of abortion being tossed around here? the simple "be glad you werent aborted" or "bless you for not aborting" blahblahblah.....

did we not fight and plea to get an 'adoption' catagory? remember this is actually reasonably new. if all these people want to do it preach the evils of abortion, or for some, sing the praises of abortion should they not beg and fight for a catagory all their own where they can throw that word around all they want?

now maybe i am just tired and cranky, but i have had it with that being thrown in our faces. i am not grateful for not being aborted, if i was i wouldnt be here and so it wouldnt matter anyway. i came here to discuss, share and learn more about ADOPTION, thats why its the adoption catagory.

am i just cranky and mean today or do others feel the same way?

sorry if come accross rude, im just so frustrated......

what would make your adoption experince better?

FOR THE SAKE OF THIS QUESTION, REMOVE THE POSSIBILITY OF STAYING WITH BIOPARENTS, AND SEALED PERSONAL INFORMATION

just in life as an adoptee, what would have made your experince better with your adoptive family?

i would say mine would be more emotional support and a little more understanding of my personality

to all people connected to adoption, however you fit in, how do you feel about the happy ending stories?

many here have expressed painful, hostile or at times, down right bitter feelings about adoption. if you have these feelings how does it make you feel to hear about the system working (thats a rare comment!) and adoption was the best choice and the lives of those affected was improved by it?

in other words, do you get sick of hearing happy endings, or does it renew your faith that sometimes it actually works out?

every family has 'that' cousin, uncle, aunt whatever. you know the really weird one, maybe they smell, or are convinced that the fbi is hovering overhead spying on them. you know who im talking about.

being an adptee, have you ever looked at them and thought to yourself 'thank god i dont share a gene pool with them!' ?

i mean no disrespect, but i just got some pics from a family event this summer, and my cousin chris was in one. i love him, but i am so thankful we dont share dna.

we all have had them, the nasty rude comments from people that dont know you or your biological parents. they make assumptions and share their uneducated 'advice'

so what is the worst things you have heard about yourself and your adoption?

here is an answer to a question here in the adoption catagory=

"Why is it when the adoptive child is grown, their bio family takes an interest.

Is it because all the money it takes to raise a child is no longer needed? Your bio parents did not want you when you were adopted out, why now?

Have your bio parent pay back your adoptive parents for raising you if they now want a relationship."

am i the only one that is offended by this? am i being overly sensitive?

anyone that knows me knows i do not offend easily, but i found this appalling. is this a common attitude?

by the way, this is the direct quote.

a while back i had a contact named shante'. i think her account got deleted.

she was bi, blonde, beautiful, was a stripper and her avatar was her in a cowboy hat.

i think she was from lousiana

anyone remember her? does anyone know how to contact her? she was such fun and sweet person, i miss her

ok i am not internet intelligent. so talk slow. i want to start a blog, not on myspace or anything else like that. what i want is to be able to write a blog and have my birthmother be able to add her stories and input on it. i am adopted and a few have asked us to do this and i have an interest.

is it possible to have 2 people on one account? and where do i go, and what the hell do i do?

thanks for the help

my husband and i have full physical/joint legal custody of his 3 children. they are 11 and twins that are 9. its been almost 8 years since she gave them to us, willingly, almost forcably. i have gone online to check how they figure out the child support, because i think she is somehow paying far less than she should be. she pays $30 a week. they based it on when minimum wage was $5.25. she is the manager at burger king and has been there for over 6 years and also works at subway. i cant imagine she is still making only $5.25 an hour.

also, in michigan the non custodial parent must pay insurance, she does not. we have a bulk of it covered through work, but the copays and medication costs are killing us. the 11 year old is bipolar and adhd and one of the twins has severe allergies.

i also have a daughter and we have a 5 year old son together. a total of 7 in the house. the reason i ask is because we are in financial ruin. we have already filed chapter 13 and will probably have to go

those that have found their biological family, do you notice your personality is more like them or the adoptive family you were raised with?

for me i am exactly like my birthmother. i swear at times we share a brain. same attitude and views. i was just wondering if it was this way for others or if are a rare case.