share your rude/nasty adoption stories?

1. my mother used to make me pick my nephew up from school and one day my nephew called me his slave (my entire family is white i am korean/? black) instead of my mothe telling him that that was wrong of him to say she said well technically you are.

2. My mother on new years said "oh well we can make you the maid" when she said that my sisters and the girl across the street all looked alike and i asked her what about me.

3. i was told that i was adopted when i was 12 and when i turned 13 she sent me to military school but before that she asked me if i wanted another family and i didn't even do anything wrong.

4. the kids at school picked on me for not knowing i was adopted but i had asked and was lied to. (that hurt a lot)

5. i never get to spend christmas with my a family they said there wasn't enough room but i got christmas eve. ( after last christmas i basically told them to go screw themselves)

6. i have had a black person ask me why i wanted to be one of them so bad. just because i was adopted and i look black doesn't mean i am so why do i feel like i have that right to claim it? (as if i don't have enough issues with not knowing what race i am but i can promise you in the south they see me as black.)

7. i'm sorry i adopted you.

i could go on but i'm going to depress myself.

Adopted a dachshund/spitz mix 2 weeks ago, loving every second of it and so is he =] He was a full time outside dog =[ dont know how u could do that to a 12 lb dog but whatever. and they gave him to the humane society bc they "didnt have enough time to spend with him" they said they spent no time training him whatsoever. So It was love at first sight when I meet him although i was hesitant, the first day he bit me when i picked him up and I was getting very discouraged! but then I realized he needed time like all living things he had just been thrust out of his home had to adapt to shelter life and then 2 days after that had major surgery (being nuetered) then came to my house! Id be a little ticked off too..and very unsure and most likely have abandonment issues. Well he doesnt have to worry about that anymore =] He's with me now. Im home almost 24/7 except on the weekends to be with him so he gets oodles and oodles of attention and is soaking up every minute of being an inside ONLY dog. He LOVES walks, and needs to be socialized with other dogs (was waiting until he recovered from the surgery) but all in due time. He's very obedient, the smartest dog Ive EVER owned and I can tell finally feels loved and accepted he loves us so much! He just needed some time put into him and he's doing great (now for the socializing!) But he's learned his name, sit, come here, sit pretty next to mommy, go down/up the stairs (without being a chicken lol) so far and thats only 2 weeks. Love him to death I will ALWAYS adopt. It breaks my heart wondering how somebody could just give him up he's the cutest thing ever, he's changed my life for the better, and my health also, since he's my motivation and now I HAVE to go on a walk everyday. no excuses!! have a good day.

I don't have too many negative incidents like some of you as I never took things too personally. I know that my mom would joke to me that my brother asked when they were sending me back after about a week being adopted. He was also adopted & younger than I but had been adopted before me as an infant. I never really took offense to that as I am still here.

Then in 6th grade we were watching a movie (forgot which one...possibly Annie) where some kid made fun of the adoptee & all the kids in my class looked at me to see how I reacted...I looked at them like, 'what the f' are you looking at' & told them I didn't care.

I've been told a couple times to go back where I came from but that's not due to being adopted, lol. Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with too much negativity from others but more so in how I coped with it inside. My parents adopted two brothers & they each had major cleft palets & I was 5 so I know they did it because they wanted children but also because they wanted to help a child less fortunate. They could have adopted perfectly healthy babes but instead they adopted ones with 'issues'.

I dare somebody to tell me to my face that I am less than them because I'm adopted...they should know better!

I am from the other side of this issue, we adopted through the foster care system.

Before the adoption, we had several friends and family "advise" us not to adopt a foster child, implying that the child(ren) would be "damaged" somehow. One tried, several times, to get us to adopt from China, others just generally showed a real lack of support for the idea. This is contrasted with what happened when another family member adopted privately several years ago; in that case, the family all rallied around. But, when we were going through the process, all we got was "are you sure?" (I am glad to say that ALL of them now feel differently and there is no doubt from anyone.)

Since the adoption, when we tell people we adopted, almost every time, the first question is "where are they from?". It is very sad that everyone assume an international adoption.

Edit -

kaluah96, I was very sad to read your story. I think it is horrible for you to grow up in such a home. Be assured, we will never say such things to our adopted sons.

While not an adoptee but a mother I can tell you some of the really truthfully hurtful things my daughter has heard. First I was the woman who slept with a married man who went back to his wife .(not even close to true) She was told by her amom that you only get one mother in life and that she was it . (Gee and I thought I was the one who gave birth to her) She has variously been told to be grateful she wasn't aborted (the thought never crossed my mind btw abortion and adoption do not equate they are apples and oranges) She was also told I had "addiction problems" (also not true) Then she heard all the lies her father told about me. Yes my lovely, and loving daughter has been subjected to many of the same words you all have. I along with Magic Pointe have also been subjected to horrible comments on my blog (s) and have been called among other things a crack whore (there was no crack in 1984) and an alcoholic/whore. Nice words for all of us aren't they? Even when an adoptee asks a simple question and she has a good story for herself she gets slammed here. What is wrong with this picture? Why can't we all try to learn from each other? *sigh* sorry it just bothers me so much that people don't "get this"

<sigh> I don't think this was directly towards me, but it still ticks me off....

I was taken away from my bmom and adopted when I was about 5 or 6. I was able to keep in contact with her all my life. My adopted parents wanted to be open and honest, which I fully appreciate 10000%. But what pisses me off (pardon the language), is that when I was 18, my bmom adopted another baby! And from about 6 months after she was adopted, I've raised her. I ended up getting full custody of her in 2003 when she was just 4 years old.

She didn't want to take care of me, and she obviously got sick of my little sister too! What kind of crap is that?!? How can you take in a child, then give it away to the other child that you had given away?!? I just don't get people.

You really want to hear this? I was told by an Indiana state legislator, Sen. Meeks that we need to protect "birthmothers" from their unwanted children.

I have people who come to my blog that tell me that my adoptive parents are probably ashamed of me. I was also on a call from a customer who told that he wished my parents have never married and that I was never born. That is not thing to tell an adoptee. The headset went flying off my head. He hung up before a supervisor could take over the call.

I have been told numerous times to shut and be grateful that I wasn't (a) aborted and (b) dumped in a dumpster. My adoptive mother has read these things on my blog. My adoptive mother has called the agency to demand that they give me my father's information. She was politely rebuked.

If both me and my adoptive mother have faced these issues, then the adoptive parents here will eventually face these issues as well. You need to be aware of it.

I have the usual run of the mill ignorant replies that point to mothers like me. The ones who don't specifically address what I'm saying specifically, but are general responses given to women who have walked in my shoes to suck it up and that it was our own choice. Some can be pretty cruel, but really, it wasn't directed exactly at me so it goes into the general ignorant comments category.

I've only had one specific comment directed at me specifically which happened on my blog. I haven't finished tagging my entries yet, so I can't go back and pull the direct quote. Basically someone who I think was an young adult adoptee woman wrote a comment on one of my entries chastising me for having a child after relinquishing my son for adoption. Never mind that I waited seven years after relinquishment to even consider having more children. Anyway, the point of the comment was to remind me that my son would likely be completely hurt to be discarded and then replaced by other children.

So, while I can understand adoptee feelings of abandoment, replacement, moved on versus stuck in the place I was when I relinquished, all of the mind f**k that comes with adoption loss; I don't understand why biological parents are to be held hostage to that particular point of time (relinquishment)

Either we are supposed to move on like society tells us to after relinquishing, or we are supposed to stay in that moment stuck mired in the loss. Actually, I think I'm supposed to be both. Am I really supposed to buy into the idea that because I relinquished once I am not able to parent any child?

One thing is true though, comments like this that rattle my cage to the core are good for me. While I may not agree with the extreme that poured out of the comment, my children's feelings about the impact of adoption onto their lives does matter to me. How I explain the relinquishment and explain the complicated nature of having to choose relinquishment is going to be a tough question to answer, and the answer needs to not only be the truth, but also meet the needs of which one of my children is asking the questions.

What a surprise, the social worker wants us to not look at reality!

I think the rudest, and frankly oddest comment I ever heard was from my abrother's mother in law. Adoption came up in a conversation, and she said, "The thing about adopted kids, is they think the world owes them something!" What was strange to me at the time, was that as an adopted person I always felt I OWED everyone something.

Without ever mentioning I was adopted, I have heard LOTS of nasty, albeit common, adoption talk. The 'grateful', 'lucky', 'angry', 'bitter' stuff, mothers are trash, illegitimate stuff. With the advent of political correctness, I hear it less nowadays.

This is sad that anyone would make such comments towards anyone. Every child regardless of race or sex deserves a home without anyone putting their 2 cents into it.

If I had the money, space and time I would have adopted in a heart beat and would have loved that child unconditionally. NO ONE has the right to judge anyone for anything. As long as your adopted parents love you screw the rest of the world with their comments...