I keep hearing more about Destination weddings. What is the point?

I totally agree with you. Weddings have always been about family and friends. My husband and I wanted to get married in our hometown church, by our parish priest and two friends, and we hosted 200 guests for a lovely dinner, reception, dance and full open bar. We saved long and hard because we WANTED a community-type celebration - which is what getting married IS. You are joining your community now as a married couple, and family and friends are celebrating with you.

But who am I to talk, we have only been totally HAPPILY married for almost 18 wonderful years!!! So much for tradition!!!

No hun, you're looking at the it the wrong way. A destination wedding is like eloping, with only your closest friends and family...you invite them b/c you'd love for them to be there, but you don't EXPECT them to be there if they can't afford it and don't shun them for not going.

Plus, a honeymoon is a romantic vacation, not a time to get to know each other better...if you're getting married and still need time to "get to know each other" then you should have considered that before the wedding...you don't have to live with someone to know them well. And you seem pretty judgemental about the whole living/sleeping together...and if people do that, why shouldn't they get married? They're entitled to love and marriage just the same as you.

As for sharing the honeymoon, you don't have to...its your option...if you want to make it a spring-break type of situation where you and your friends and family are out on the beach and drinking and partying all week, great! Some people have the family there for the ceremony then they meet up a few times throughout the week for dinner and thats it...its the couple's choice.

Finally, destination weddings are expensive and usually only close family and friends get invites, so for your friend, she should be honored that she got invited, but if she can't afford it, she can just say no, its as simple as that. Your statement about paying to be at a wedding is a little too far...if you don't want to go or can't afford it, don't go, but don't be snotty about it...they have chosen the kind of wedding they want so you should wish them well and get on with your life.

Most of the destination weddings of which I've heard were for couples who preferred easier and less stressful smaller events. Frequently, the cost of a small destination wedding is much less than the cost of the large wedding that may be expected if the couple wed in their hometown.

As for guests, they always have the option of declining the invitation to a destination wedding. If you cannot afford it, then just don't go.

As mentioned before, the guests at most destination weddings are immediate family or a couple of very close friends.

Well you see then the Bridezilla can have the fun destination wedding and then come back and have the mega-reception(cash bar); complete with money tree, dollar dance and "No Box Gifts" for maximum Loot grabbing capacity. If they play their cards right, they can put right on the invite their travel agency registry. That way people can pay for their destination wedding. The agency also gives them a cut of anyone who comes along to the wedding.

Oh my, you sound cranky this morning! For some people, a few guests in a private environment make the wedding. For some, a lot of guests and merriment make the wedding. Its a personal thing, so why do you have to rain on their parade?

People who have destination weddings understand that most of their guests will not attend, but you know what? A few will. If they cannot or do not want to make the trip, kindly send regrets on the RSVP card. Also, who are you to judge whether the bride and groom live together before marriage or not? You sure have a lot of hostility over this. Just let get married their way!

Some people and their friends can actually afford to do this. For example, many of my middle-aged friends have good jobs and have saved money over the years. Furthermore, most did not have children, which dramatically cuts down on expenses. Some, such as the ones who worked in the oil business or computer industry, have even retired young.

Some people *want* to share their honeymoon with family and friends. It's not like they'll be spending *every second* together. And they will have a *separate* room.

What's the point of getting married if you sleep and live together? For my partner and me, we're at the highest level of love and committment, which we would like legally and socially recognized.

I am in total agreement with you. I actually think destination weddings are selfish because they expect their attendants and family to put out an extreme amount of money to be part of the wedding. I would never ask such a thing of someone I loved and respected. If I couldn't afford to pay for them attending I wouldn't have a destination wedding. They can have a simple ceremony at home and then go to the destination for their honeymoon alone.

well, i was with you until you said why would you want to share your honeymoon with anyone. :P i took one of my best friends with us to Disney and i am pretty sure that is the best decision i made during the entire wedding planning. She took so many great pictures of us, pictures we would not have gotten otherwise. she went on all the scary rides with him because i am a big baby. she did all the girly stuff with me like getting all the princesses to sign our books. we shared desserts and wore hats and had a great time. i had the first 5 years of my relationship to get to know my husband, i mean i married him because i knew him. at night, she went to her hotel room and we went to ours. the point of getting married is different for different people. some people wait to live together before they are married and others don't.

i think destination weddings are good...for really rich people. i personally would never have one, i would want all my friends and family there. but some people do not have a lot of friends or really want to escape the drama of having a lot of people there. it is their decision.

Some overbearing, gotta have everything bride came up with that stupid idea to make her parents go bankrupt for her wedding and she's probably divorced now. Do it your own way.

Different strokes for different folks.