What lessons has suffering taught you?

A good question my friend, may I respond from my Buddhist perspective...it may reveal some small wisdom and provide another aspect for comparison from my poor insight...

All of Life's experiences both the "good" ones and the "bad" ones each have suffering as a characteristic.

This sounds awful and negative yet let me explain further with some simple examples...this may shed some light on Selfishness and it's role in causing unnecessary suffering and help us all avoid it's nasty side...

An example of a good experience carrying with it suffering is ice cream...Let me explain...

Ice cream is great to eat, yet if the Self is allowed free reign in the consciousness, this simple and delightful experience can prove nasty. If we indulge the Self with Tanha..Pali for craving... for ice cream in moderation then exhibit mild Upadana and eat it, we feel great and we enjoy this delicious stuff with relish. All well and good and we feel great...no harm done...

If the Self is allowed its freedom within the consciousness, thus overwhelming our wisdom in regards to ice cream however, things can turn out quite differently. As we've all experienced ice cream overdose and the ascociated illness and sickly feelings of it I won't need to elaborate on this Selfish Overindulgence, thus the Lord Buddha advises the Middle Path to avoid such self induced suffering and thus can a good experience turn very nasty indeed, all due to Selfishness.

A rather crude and extreme example of course, yet the lesson is clear. Without wisdom, Selfishness can and does cause suffering, as well as an example of a good experience carrying with it suffering as an integral part ...as long as we are careful and wise we avoid such suffering of course.

The wisdom..? Avoid the Upadana ascociated with Self and you avoid the suffering ascociated with good experiences.

An example of a "bad" experience carying with it suffering.

The example of the death of a friend.

This one sounds easy, yet death and the ascociated feelings of sadnesss and grief are often misrepresented and misinterpretted as the "bad" parts or the parts to be avoided and "released" as it were. This is so however, the feelings themselves are normal as well as a normal part of these experiences. When we feel these feelings of grief and sadness, this is quite OK, we are human Beings after all with feelings such as these. Feeling these feelings does not inhibit our growth as Spiritual Beings rather we feel these feelings because we are Human Beings with feelings of Love and Compassion. From a Buddhist perspective, such feelings of loss are Selfish feelings, it is true, but they are because we miss the person who died, this is not a wrong View or Wrong Action, rather they are normal feelings, they are the Dukkha ascociated with death, this is a normal part of Life. They are caused from Love for the person and are therefore from the true Self rather than the Selfish one.

However, when these feelings are held long after the event has passed, this is Upadana caused by the Self, it is owned and this ownership causes other feelings to arise such as depression and it is this suffering which is the "bad" one as it were, and can be avoided if the Observer's stance is taken from the outset. Thus Observing grief and sadness and then leaving these feelings with the event we have witnessed.

The Wisdom then in this case is to avoid the Upadana ascociated with Self and you avoid the suffering ascociated with "bad" experiences.

You can see then that the wisdom is the same in both cases of good experiences as well as bad ones. Avoid Upadana and you help yourself avoid the suffering ascociated with these experiences as well a avoid the suffering ascociated with the Self and its characteristic selfishness and clinging.

Some thoughts on suffering from...

A Buddhist...

Empathy:

I think your own personal suffering helps you to understand what others are going through in a similar situation, and insha'Allah (God willing) gives you the caring qualities to want to help them if you can.

Dependence on a Higher Being (God...Allah):

Suffering makes you realise there is some Higer Being (God...Allah) in control of all this and our suffering has a higher purpose though at the time of suffering we perhaps can't appreciate that. Such a thought and knowingness gives you a maturity in that respect and acceptance and means to deal with it - insha'Allah.

Also, in the Islamic tradition there is the concept that Allah may send an affliction your way in order to prevent another affliction that could be much worse for you. This is thus mercy in action. Insha'Allah this should help you to develop gratitude.

Gratitude also comes out of believing you will get some spiritual rewards in the afterlife for suffering in this life.

Alhamdulillah (all praises to Allah), Peace and Love.

Suffering sucks, but it does teach that no matter what precautions you take or how you think or act, there will be pain in life and that life IS suffering. Therefore, it is pointless to go through life fearing that you'll be hurt, because it is inevitable that you will. Live every moment like it is the last, enjoy everything you can and endure the pain because there is no real alternative. Also, since life is ever-changing, it means that no suffering is forever. I learned this hard lesson again last night, when my husband and I had to put our pet rat out of her misery because her tumor had grown so large she couldn't move, eat or even drink. She is no longer suffering, but I miss her.

That I don't like suffering.

Means it time to watch the road. Adjust the movements.

Re-calibrate.

Sitting in suffering is just not 'done'.

It is an internal indicator, not to be ignored.

Watch your world, and be ready for the shift. Suffering is by no means our 'natural' place. So to celebrate it as if it is, is incredibly damaging to our collective awareness.

It's only the human species that refuses to follow their instincts when trouble comes down the pike. All the animals run to higher ground, while we sit and stew. Being fed more suffering as if it is a higher ideal.

Follow your path of heart right into your higher ground, and suffering becomes a tool of instinct, rather than an experience of reality.

Yes, we can be grateful for all the awarenesses that we have been given. But only if we know how to affectively use them. And 'suffering' is greatly misused.

Actually, it's cultivated....

((((((((((think about it))))))))))))))))

Edit: I have to add this for Eve, as the definition continues. Cultivating suffering we do through the media, our entertainment, etc, etc...we've built up tolerance for it. If we paid attention to the 'little' lessons of suffering, they wouldn't have to escalute to such massive degrees before we noticed that we were indeed caught up in a cycle of suffering so huge that it's destructive.

Be affective in reading your inner barometer of 'opps, this isn't right' and watch how strong and free you become. Without having to be thrown off the cliff. Because frankly, life will do that to you if you don't pay attention. It is better to jump off the cliff than to be thrown.

Eve; I'm very sorry about your sister,...on all counts.

I learned that suffering is unnecessary. I created most of my own and caused much suffering for others in the process. I choose to "see" and experience life events differently than I used to. My suffering has been greatly reduced as a result.

This is true, suffering brings development. Suffering brings opportunity to work on yourself and it refines us. Will you fold under the strain of correction, will allow in your pain, or will you stand up and face those predicaments that ill you and find the strength to prevail. I say, one who finds the strength to prevail such a one has come closer to that innate center of knowing themselves. The only true suffering is what you face in regards to your own inner struggles, the outer world only reflects or stimulates inner dis-ease.

Be a conqueror within a negative cycle, know that in a negative cycle are you presented with the opportunity for true consciousness, often in the positive there is nothing to be observant of when everything goes your way. Embrace suffering with consciousness.

The Four Noble Truths. The truth of suffering, the cause of suffering, the end of suffering and the path leading to suffering. Everything is impermanent and the cost of attachment.

Cosmicdancer pretty much said it perfectly.

I don't like suffering, either. =)

My sister, who is dieing of cancer said, " I don't mind the dieing part, I just don't like what I am going through to get there". I think many of us can relate to that! This same woman would barely speak to me because of her 'self righteous' religious beliefs. I was part of the "anti-Christ' since I was not a fundamentalist Christian. Now, she is my sister again! She even apologised for turning all my nieces against me. (Religious fervour is so grand). Oh well...

We have all seen lives transformed by suffering...a parent gives up drinking after a child dies. One girl I know, had never reflected on the meaning of this precious life until she was paralysed in a skiing accident. She said, "It took this to make me want to know more, to learn, to grow spiritually".

Suffering can humble the ears and heart!!!

Most of us have to have horrible disasters before we loosen our grip on THE WAY THINGS SHOULD BE!

Suffering "Is, what is" and it ain't going to go away! We can kick and scream against it or we can go deeper and learn something.

**Thanks, Cosmic! =)

Suffering has just about taught me all that I know...seems I am hard headed and suffering is what it takes to get my attention...recently, going through Hurricane Katrina taught me how precious life is, how easy the average American life is and that there are things much bigger than mere little human beings...something snapped in me during the storm...very interesting life since then...

Not to be so self absorbed, everything goes through suffering, my suffering isn't anymore importnant than anyone elses. To not waste so much time and thought on myself. There is always someone going through something worse and to pray for them as I hope they would do the same for me.