Please please, please help me out here I am in a mess and I need some advice (PLEASE DON'T JUST BE SILLY)?

I simply cannot understand where this threesome rubbish come's from. When two people are together they should love and RESPECT each others wishes. Tell her that you are not interested in doing it with another girl, you love her and have no intentions of doing it with another girl. Maybe she is just testing you but out of respect for you she should just drop the idea. And if she gets angry and insists then she is not the woman for you. Helll where are guys like you when you are looking for someone faithful.:)

I think you really need to talk to your wife now and tell her how you feel. While it is all very good to support our partners and to enable them to be open with us and share fantasies that doesn't mean it is good to go along with them out of fear of losing them if it is something you don't want to do.

Lots of women have fantasies about having sex with other women and she is probably telling the truth about it not being a negative about you. On the positive side she trusts you enough to share a very personal secret with.

You are going to have to talk to her about this, I don't think she'll think you are a prude if you just tell her what you have put here. Tell her about how much you love her and how special your love is, so special that you don't want to share it with anyone else. Explain to her that having the fantasy is great and that you would be happy to use it to spice up your live life as a fanstasy but not in reality. You could also ask her if she has thought about what will happen afterwards with this friend, how she might feel, about how it might affect the relationship between you and your wife?

I have had two three-somes in my life and whilst they have been enjoyable they really aren't all that great and I certainly wouldn't have entertained the idea with people I wasn't 100% sure off and sure of what they were getting into.

First mistake: You should have said something sooner. This is your wife, you shouldn't be pulling any punches about shiat that makes you uncomfortable.

Second mistake: Your love for your wife has blinded your judgement.

Third mistake: You haven't made your thoughts completely aware.

If your wife leaves you over this, it's not because of this. It's because you are a spineless moron. She has the idea that you will feel less loved if she makes out with another woman because you aren't getting gratified. The fact is, you feel less loved because you don't want to do this and she wants to anyways. But the problem here is that you haven't made it CLEAR to her the reasons you are uncomfortable, if she even knows you are uncomfortable in the first place.

Hun, bring a video camera if you can, that way you can tell her no more actual doing it, she has it on video, and it was wild but its not something you want to do on a regular basis, if she is not experienced with this you have a 50/50 chance that she is not going to be too into it herself. Tell her you just want to watch the two of them together, don't participate and then don't agree to do it again, its not your thing but you have all ready agreed to this, your woman might be all upset because you waited until the last minute. Good Luck making it through tonight...your going to need to be more honest about your needs. Take Care-Rachel.

Believe me, if you go through with this when you really do not want to then it will sully your relationship with your wife forever, the two of you will never be as you were before, many have tried this just to add a bit of spice and after try to think of the next thing to do, in the end your sex life will seem empty without that extra perversion, read MOLLY`S comment, it really is the best advice.

Chris.

If you really love this girl and decide to go through with this threesome then i think your relationship will be over, the fact she knows your not into it then she should have dismissed the idea, instead she's pushing for it, so she wants this even though she knows you will find it really hard to get your head round. Sorry to say mate but she doesn't seem worth all the effort, you should ditch her and find someone with the same level of feelings about love as you yourself have, don't bring your self down to her level. Take care now Alley.x.

Hey J I wish I would have seen your question sooner...anyhow, I think you have pretty much answered yourself between the lines. A relationship is about respect, and yeah it may be about crossing some boundaries or spicy things together, but when one of the 2 is not feeling the same way, communication is key as well as sincerity. If you did or are about to do something u did not want to do in the first place, someone is bound to get hurt in this triangle. If your girl respects you and truly loves you as much as you love her to please her with this inquiry, she will respect your thoughts about it, and if she loves you as much she will understand the fact you do not want to have a threesome ...despite the fact most men would be all thrilled about that idea. Please talk to her and be honest, that is about what we all can advice you. Good Luck !

if you dont feel comfortable with what your wife wants dont do it. Tell her how you feel and that you are scared of losing her. She may think its all very exciting and that you will all enjoy it. Trouble is that 3 somes often turn out badly in the end. Someone will get jealous and someone will get hurt. Say no, she may be disappointed but its better to be honest and not get involved in something you feel isnt right. Hope it all turns out ok for you both.

I would feel how you are feeling. Most men dream of this situation! I would feel that my partner was being unfaithful,and to add insult to injury wanted me to watch! (its ok if two or three or four consent though and want to)!!! You need to talk,she is being selfish and should face up to the fact that she could lose you and your marriage for the sake of a one night romp. Would you trust her after this? Would you feel hurt and have a revenge romp? I think your worth more than this! Also you might be very happy with your sexlife but it would seem that your wife wants to sleep with women! How would she feel if you slept around? There are lots of women that would want a faithful,loving man like you.....perhaps you could do better??

Be honest with her find out what it is she wants from this, or where it will take you. I have been in your shoes and didn't say anything and went along with it and knowing what I know now you don't do this sort of thing on a whim with a spouse it creates havoc. But if you do go through with it tell her it is for her not you that you agreed and remember she chose a woman instead of another man so on her part it's curiosity that is eating at her at least she didn't choose another guy....