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Trust issues.......how can i get over them?
i have trouble trusting people. Alot of trouble. paticulary grown men,but im suspitious of every1.
I seriously need some way 2 get over it. One of my swim coaches is a grown man that just seems wrong to me. every1 likes him, he's always been nice, but I FEEL LIKE HE'S GONNA HURT ME. I know its paranoid b/c our ymca does things like backround checks b4 they let staff work with kids and if he was a murders or a petofile or something, they woudnt hire him.
I need help. Please.
(yes, i know i misplaced this, but in psycology, i dont get good answers)
1)ignore vihaha, she's just mad at me
2) yes, i've had serious issues with men. actualy, my dad
3) If you had BOTHERD to check my prof., im 13
17 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
You have to take baby steps. Understanding that you have a problem is the 1st step in solving it. Start trusting small things ... it takes hard work and practice tho.
- 1 decade ago
Worrying about if someone is going to hurt you doesn't change the fact that they aren't hurting you right then. You just need to try to focus more on the present situation instead of dwelling on what "could" happen.
Once you've had some time with the person you can generally tell if they seem really strange and weird to you...but if he's just a normal guy then there shouldn't be any direct reason to worry about it so much. That doesn't mean you should just let down your guard and walk around without your top off or something...just don't put yourself in a bad situation and he'll act according to his character.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Well I have trust issues too, But I just jump in, I am terrified of getting hurt and would prefer people be at arms length or father from me, But you have to let go of your fear, I have and it turned out great about 80% on the time, only bad once, the rest were just blah occasions, Or you can find what it is making you not trust people and then deal with that but this method doesn't take as long.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Take it one step at a time. Try opening up your feelings a little more, and see how that goes. You need to relax a little, be a little laid back. There are bad people in the world, but not everybody is bad. Remember that there is good in everybody, and you just have to concentrate on that fact. Your instincts are the most important, however. If you sincerely feel like somebody is going to hurt you, you have every right to avoid that person.
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- treebirdLv 61 decade ago
Can you find an adult at school to trust? Perhaps you could try talking to your counselor or one of the administrators, or a teacher. If you can find an adult you can trust a bit, see if you can talk to that person about these issues.
If you can trust one of your parents or other adult relatives that's another person you might talk to. Or even the parent of one of your friends.
In general I would say ALWAYS go with your gut feelings, and if you are afraid of someone, assume there is a good reason. Trust your feelings. But if you are mistrustful of almost everyone, either you are around an unusual bunch of people (it is possible) or your feelings are awry. I hope you find someone to help you with this. I think you might need therapy to help you recover.
- 1 decade ago
i would say that its wrong of him in the first place as a person of authority to even consider dating some one he Coaches beside that how old are you ? you said "grown men " witch makes me think your underage .. so then that even makes it worse cause he is doing something wrong and illegal .. as far as gtting over The Trust issues Remember not all people are bad dont blame new people in your life for the mistakes other in the past have made. you will end up sad and alone ..
- 1 decade ago
You might just be acting "paranoid", but sometimes gut feelings do turn out being right. If you're really that scared, you should just try to act normally around him (so he doesn't suspect anything, especially if he's not thinking about doing anything negative) but try to avoid being alone with him as much as possible. I don't mean to freak you out, but just because someone hasn't done something before doesn't mean they won't start so you can't base anything on that.
Most likely he's a very nice person who wouldn't even consider hurting you though. So don't freak out too much! :)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Why don't you trust people? Did something happen to you when you were young? Have you considered going to talk to a professional about your problem? It's hard to trust people, but when you have a serious fear of trusting, it has to be just awful. I hope you can find the answers you need. Good luck to you.
- Rosie_0801Lv 61 decade ago
So avoid being around him without one of your team mates being present, or transfer to a lady coach.
As for trust issues in general, I assume you've been hurt in the past? Remember you were tough enough to live through that, so you are tough enough to risk it again.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Whatever you do make sure that you get help when you are young....take care of it so you will be able to have stable relationships in the future.