How to handle a parent that dwells on issues?

I'm a Girl Scout leader, too, so I know how tricky it is to draw a line between "Scout friends" and "school friends". That "it's not FAIR" whining gets old, fast.

The next time she brings it up, tell her, "Look, we've discussed this. Your daughter is included in ALL Scout activities. I have no control over what happens before or after an event, or outside of Scouts. And frankly, if I decide to stop at BK on the way home from an event, that's MY business and I do NOT have to clear it with you, first!"

If she wants to become closer friends with some of the other girls, her daughter is going to have to make an effort, too, to invite girls over to play, or to go out for a snack or meal after an event.

On the other hand . . .

You may need to have a little talk with the girls about being tactful about what is discussed during troop meetings, etc. Make a troop rule that if the topic doesn't include EVERYONE, don't bring it up. That encompasses birthday parties, slumber parties, etc. If it's not Scouts or something that everyone is involved with, then we give it a rest during troop meeting time. It's hard *not* to feel left out when everyone is talking about things you aren't invited to.

Explain to this girl and her mother that because all of the other members do belong to the same school, there will be many times a school event will occur. This is totally separate from the scout troop activities and no rancor toward her daughter is intended. See if there is a troop at this girl's school, and suggest that she could be happier if she joined that one. Tell them you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but the other girls are not just troop members, but friends outside of scouts.

Explain to her that the third thing wasn't an official Girl Scout event and was none of her business. If her daughter is left out of official events, that's one thing, she's just being pushy and will end up getting her daughter ostracized!

if you decide to take your daughter and her friends out to eat that's none of her business you dont have to take her daughter along to if she wasn't invited what you decide to do on your own time is your business just tell her the burger king outing had nothing to do with girl scouts and it was a personal outing that had nothing to do with her daughter..i bet she doesn't invite your daughter to EVERYTHING she does with her daughter or you can just tell her you didn't have enough money and you paid for the other girls..

I agree with the person above. If its girl scout stuff she should always be invited but if its other stuff then she will have to learn that in life you do not always get invited to everything you want.