Would like your thoughts on this?

Hi. I see you have changed your mind about the $20 thing....good idea!!

Also....I don't like the potluck idea either...unless it's STRICTLY family and they offer to help.

The problem being....it's not as bad as asking for the $20...but IT IS still the thought that others are "providing the party."

An alternative would be to simply have your renewal of vows....and, since this is not a "legal" thing (unless you are renewing in a church)...anyone can perform this...it does not have to be a judge, minister, etc. Again, unless this is going to be a church renewal.

So...you could have your renewal of vows at your MIL's home....then why not just some appetizers and desserts. Don't plan a big meal. Plan something in the early afternoon....or later in the evening after everyone has had dinner.

Just my thoughts....

Tacky, tacky, tacky. You don't throw a party "to celebrate your love" and then charge admission. And, for a vow renewal, you shouldn't expect much in the way of gifts anyway: it's NOT a wedding, so some people may give you a small, token gift, but not lavish, expensive ones. Even mentioning not to bring a gift is presumptuous and tacky. Wait until you can afford to throw a big party to do this.

What is it exactly that's costing you money? 12 people x 20 = $240.

Is that just the cost of the Justice of the Peace? If so, you should really think about not having justice of the peace -- it's a vow renewal, not a legal ceremony. Why don't you just say your vows to each other -- or have your parents or a close friend lead the ceremony? It would be more meaningful than to have legal representative present for a ceremony that holds no legal standing.

Is the $240 for some sort of food? Then just make it into a dinner reservation for 12 people where people will pay for their own meals -- if it's just close friends and family and everybody expects that this is just a nice evening out with you, nobody will scoff at paying for their own meal. You could probably even cook a dinner for 12 people without it costing $20 per person. Or instead of offering food, just offer that cake you said you weren't going to have...it will be much less expensive to have a cake reception.

Is the $240 for a location? If so, consider changing your location to your home or the home of a friend or relative -- or a public park or another place that is meaningful to the two of you. You only have 12 people...it's not like there are a lot of limits on what you can do.

Essentially, what I'm saying is that with a ceremony this small and with such intimate friends in attendance, it shouldn't be that difficult to pull off something classy and personal without charging people money.

Why not have the ceremony at a place that will not charge...possibly a park or church. As far as decorations, making them yourself is easier than you might think. And lastly, for the food....buy a turkey, cut it up...get some rolls...and then make the rest a big potluck. We did this for our wedding reception and people were more than happy to bring a special dish to celebrate with us (plus there is much love put into meals made for special occasions like this) Dont charge people though...that is tacky and may be hurtful to people who want to celebrate with you but may not be able to afford that kind of money.

Good luck!

Yes it would be very tacky to do that. If you want to renew your vows with friends and family present, do it in your home instead of a hall and provide the food and liquour. Do not expect people to chip in for it. If you simply cannot afford to do it, then you should wait until you can.

Yes extremely tacky. Sorry, but you can't host a party and have your guests pay a per head fee to get in, that would mean that you aren't hosting it at all and they aren't really your "guests". And I personally would decline such an invitation if I was to be one of your "guests", especially for a vow renewal. Its unfortunate, but you allowed yourselves to be pressured into the wedding that you had 10 years ago, and it's really no one's problem but yours. Doing a renewal is fine, but its an expense that you will have to encur if you want to re-do them.

I think it is inappropriate to charge people money to come see you renew your vows. I think you would find that you would not have many people willing to come. Try to find ways to save on aspects of the wedding such as making your own decorations. You can save a lot of money by doing things yourself. If that doesn't work just wait til you have saved up the money to have the wedding you want. :0)

Uh, no of course you don't charge people.

Just plan a simply ceremony and dinner. It's not "another wedding", so won't cost much. If you don't have money at all to feed people, then just throw an anniversary party with appetizers and drinks.

It looks like you have already received your answers. Do have a party, 10 years is great! Do not however go outside of your means. A potluck is a great idea at a family member's house. It would be inexpensive and a great way to get loved ones together.

Yes it would be very tacky to charge. Why not wait until yall both have the money saved up to pay for it.