How do you help someone who won't help themselves?

It's funny that we look to our parents for answers but what can we do when they can help themselves. It's good that you love your mother but sometimes tough love is the best love you can give anyone( even a parent who won't even help themselves) You have to worry about your family and try to keep the kids away from all that drama because I know you don't want them to hurt as much as you do for your mom. I always say this to myself when I have a problem with someone, " I can show you better than I can tell you." Good luck and I wish the best for you and your family.

I don't think there's anything you can for her at this point except for answering her calls. Don't take her in. Don't give her money. Wait for her to decide she's going to get her act together. When she does, be there to support her and encourage her. But don't take her in again. You're so right that your priority is your husband and your children. Your mother has made her choices that have led her to where she is. It's your turn to make your own choices and make your own way without putting your own life on hold because of your mother.

It is very hard to love someone who is not easy and simple and has a problem, it is not easy to be a daughter of this kind of Mother.

All you can do is continue doing what you did, help as much as you can, and not expect any reward for it from your Mother.

And try not to feel guilty.

I feel for you, and don't have an answer for you. Let her know that you love her and want her both healthy and in your life. But I agree that you shouldn't take her in and expose your kids to her addictions. She's going to have to really want to recover for her own reasons. I'm really sorry.