Do the words we use to describe "significant others" suggest Objectification?

Perhaps yes. Perhaps no. As a writer, I have learned that we have to be careful when we argue semantics, esp. since the same word can mean different things to different people. This is because words bear meaning only in context, and meaning can change from person to person, and situation to situation. For one person, "my girlfriend," may connote possessiveness or objectification. For another person, "my girlfriend" can connote a sense of love, togetherness, or belonging together (in this moment or season)--not ownership. No one owns anyone, and people are not our personal playthings, no matter what we say or what words we use. And our relationships to/with one another do not define us.

On the flip side of the coin, I have seen that the vast majority of people who object to these terms usu. have serious commitment issues. In other words, they object to being called "my boyfriend," "my husband" or "my wife" because of the baggage or associations they have attached to these terms and do not wish to be held to any relationship agreements. So, their rejection of these terms is really a matter of claiming their right to be, shall we say, "fluid," distant, and unattached. I used to flinch, for ex., when my soon-to-be ex-husband would plaintively call me "my wife" in the last year of our marriage. I perceived this as a attempt to manipulate me and claim ownership because in my heart I knew our days as a married couple were numbered.

Charlotte Kasl, in her book If the Buddha Married, writes that married couples should be careful not to say "my husband" or "my wife"--that it is better to call each person by name. I tend to agree. There is nothing like hearing the sound of my name coming from the mouth and voice of a lover or loved one. At the same time, if the tone is not one of possessiveness, objectification, or manipulation, I do not object to a loved one referring to me as "my friend," "my sister goddess" (Thanks Rhonda), "my compa" (as in Starhawk's The Fifth Sacred Thing), or "my woman." It all depends on the intention and the tone.

A mother is a biological and/or social female parent of an offspring. Because of the complexity and differences of the social, cultural, and religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to define a mother in a universally accepted definition. In the case of a mammal such as a human, the biological mother gestates a fertilized ovum, which is called first an embryo, and then a fetus. This gestation occurs in the mother's uterus from conception until the fetus is sufficiently developed to be born. The mother then goes into labor and gives birth. Once the child is born, the mother produces milk in a process called lactation to feed the child; often the mother's breast milk is the child's sole nourishment for the first year or more of the child's life. Mothers have historically fulfilled the primary role in the raising of children, but since the late 20th century, the role of the father in child care has been given greater prominence in most Western countries

I don't view assigning a 'title' to someone close to you as objectifying them. To me, it just defines the relationship in the same way that calling someone "mother" or "father" does. It's like shorthand when making introductions to use a single word when making introductions or talking about that person.

I was 27 when I met my husband and we dated more years than most people before getting married. We always called each other "significant other." Boyfriend/girlfriend just sounded too high school to us. "Friend" didn't refine the relationship enough and stake claim, so to speak, when we'd go clubbing where other singles were around. The term "lover" just wasn't used much, if any, back in the 70s because it implied a sexual relationship and we wouldn't say that around our elders. "Companion" sounds like two old people sharing the rent but not their bodies.

I'm beginning to see why gender issues are such a sticking point in society. Using a possessive word to describe the person you love or are in a relationship with is not objectifying them. It's saying that I'm in a relationship with this person and they are with me. There is nothing wrong with that. If you don't want people to know that s/he is yours and you are hers/his then you probably shouldn't be in the relationship. I know, no one owns me and I don't own anyone else but when you're in a relationship, you are giving yourself to that person for however long voluntarily. Doesn't mean they run your life, it doesn't mean that they tell you what to do, it means that you are sharing your life and yourself with that person and it's only natural to let others know. When you use general terms, it sends the message that you're really not that serious about it and you really don't much care what they do.

Words like "over", "friend" or "companion" don't make a difference, since all of these would usually be preceded by the word "me". Not really objectification, it leans more to the possessive. It implies a "hand off, he/she/s mine" attitude, although not usually (but, sadly, sometimes) in terms of an actual possession.

Besides, using terms like "MY wife" or MY boyfriend" would be subjectification (if there's such a word) - objectification would be implied by use of the word "a", as in "A friend." Using "my" simply states the relationship between you and the other person.

Objectification is more likely to be found in terms of nicknames, such as "Doll", Sugar", etc. These are all non-human objects, and as such could be seen as dehumanizing - although they are also used as terms of affection, so one must always consider context and intent.

I don't think that it is just a simple linguistic detail, but I don't think using "my" to refer to loved ones has to be negative, or that it objectifies them. I don't think that trying to refer to a husband, wife, etc. really jives with neutrality. I mean, if you really wanted to be neutral, you would say, "This is Amanda... she lives in the same house that I do, and is the mother to the children that I am father to." When I talk about MY boyfriend or MY friend, I think I am ultimately making a statement about how important that person is to me.

Yes, but calling your significant other 'a lover' implies that there are others or that the person being referred to loves in some abstract way. Using My lover conveys that there is a special (possibly monogamous) bond.

It seeks to make sense of the connection using our relational language...

There can be no relationship without some idea of the speaker as 'self' and so to describe other people by their relationship to you is both perfectly natural and eminently acceptable...

Unless of course that you are so repulsed by the misunderstood idea that relationship = ownership that you can't see past it and get bogged down in the semantics of the words themselves, rather than the feeling behind them.

Possibly, but we also say things like,

"My brother/sister/mother/father/boss/kid etc."

If you're in a romantic relationship with someone, you don't want to refer to them as "a friend", because then people won't know you're "together". I suppose SOME people may have an objectifying view of their significant other, but that's probably just because they don't value that person as a companion. Mostly, it's just linguistics.

I only saw this as a way to denote a special relationship with that person, unlike any other I have with others.

In my mind it was a place of honor and adoration.

It didn't mean that he was a belonging, but that he held a higher position over others.

The same as if I said this is my friend. There are other people I am friendly with and care for, but this person is special and the relationship I share with her/him has meaning and I'm vested in it.

I'm weird, yes.

I really dislike possessive pronouns denoting ownership of things we do NOT own. On the other hand, if I call a mistress, a mistress, the wife gets annoyed. Similarly, if I call a mistress, a significant other, then SHE gets pissed off because she knows there are others. My friend, my doctor, my god, my hemorrhoids, my food, my house, my kids .. In my opinion, none of us owns these bloody things, they're simply on loan. And it's the concept of ownership which, I think, is at the root of a shite-load of EVIL.