I just found out a old friends child died... What would you do???

send a card and a gift card for a local restaurant if you have the funds. in times of grief it really helps to feed the family because that's the last thing they're thinking about.

I would say the personal approach is best, if that's at all possible. Your friend would be very touched if you went to physically console her after so much time spent apart that you may wind up regaining your lost friendship....

Say your condolences to your friend but don't send anything. Since you don't know his wife, don't say anything to her about her deceased child - you didn't know the child nor was a part of the family's life, so leave it alone.