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Black women and men...?
It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!
Dear Jamie:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.
I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship.
My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.
(cont' in details)
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...
I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
RESPONSE
Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.
I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.
The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.
I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.
Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the
of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.
It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.
Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for wha
they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has. BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.
Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Black Royalty
23 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Wow, ouch! There are some real overgeneralizations on both sides there, but I applaud the response letter for standing up for black women. What was that white girl thinking?
I think everyone has different reasons for being with the one they love. As for me, I'm dating an African man. I wasn't into him so much at first, but I let him take me out on a date. We really clicked intellectually, and I felt a real connection with him. That's why we're still together today. He supports me, loves me, and encourages me to reach my full potential. I don't think it had anything to do with how easy I was or anything like that. It doesn't have anything to do with skin color. But I will admit I get an attitude from girls from his country sometimes (not all of them, though!).
But I understand why the guy said that in his response. He really put that girl in her place, which obviously needed to happen!
- ClaudetteLv 45 years ago
Statically of Black men who marry only 7% practice miscegenation and only 5% are with White women. The statistics are lower among Black women. So my point is if 93%of Black men are marrying Black women why would I be concerned with the 7% that don't? And as you also mentioned the statistics are even lower among Black women. I'm for the preservation and promotion of Black love, Black unity and the Black family. I don't care why White men are not marrying Black women. Contrary to the sensationalized media The US Census speaks for itself. Also I can say personally I don't know any Black/White interracial couples personally and I know many married couples. In fact just this year I witness many weddings among my friends and family that were between Black men and Black women. So again why should I be concerned with such a small group of people?
- 1 decade ago
Obviously, I don't give a damn. I guess those that do just need to find a man of their own. Honestly, you're going to hear the same amount of stereotypical character flaws with respect to black men (ghetto, no ambition, thuggish, no goals, got too many baby mammas, warrants, felonies on their records so they can never get a good job etc.). Smart people know that not all are like this. People just become jaded after running to too many bad apples.
I'm black and used to have black guys wining and dining blah blah so she's not really special on that level. Men respect women who respect themselves. But seriously, the pedestal she has put herself on is kind of unnecessary.
- blanquitaLv 41 decade ago
I am still trying to understand why some white women (not all) think that black men are so obsessed with them. I do not get it. I mean, they are really quite conceited about it too. I hope that the man who wrote in response to her letter lives a long happy and fulfilling life, because he really got that white woman good.
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- hotdogseeksbunLv 61 decade ago
One of the problems that I see amongst well educated professional blacks is the fact that there simply are not enough of them to go around. They find it difficult to find a partner of there own race. The other thing is like it or not white woman were viewed as a status symbol by some black men.
- honestLv 51 decade ago
This is old. I think I read that in 2003 or something. I take it with a pinch of salt.
It was a good response to challenge her views after all those things she said, but both the Black man and the White woman here are only expressing their own views. Not all White women think like her and not all Black men think like him.
- artistagent116Lv 71 decade ago
This entire question includes much too much generalization. Both on the side of the white woman who wrote in and the black man who answered her.
Why can't we all just look past the color of our skin?
- 1 decade ago
OK my best friend emailed me this and i was in a WOW state of mind. I cant believe this is still a problem this day and time who care if a white woman is with a black man who cares if a white man is with a black woman!! THESE TO PEOPLE ARE DUMB AS HELL WRITING THIS ABOUT EACH OTHER. We all say that color dont matter anymore ummmm this is a proven point right here that it does. I dont think it has anything to do with the woman color i think it has everything to do with how that woman acts and how she was raised. Believe me i have ran into some black men with white women but the white women didnt even act like she had white in her lol. So i dont think it has anything to do with how the woman acts because let me keep it real there are alot of white women that can get ghetto and alot of black women that can carry themself just like there are worth a million dollars. I THINK THE WHITE WOMAN WAS STUPID FOR WRITING TO THIS MAGAZINE, AND SHOWING SHE IS DUMB AS HELL AND FOR THE BLACK MAN WRITING HER BACK AND PUTTING HER DOWN. Sorry but to me they are both dumb and all they did was put fuel in the fire they are both stupid for putting themself down by talking about the other race. THEY NEED TO GET OVER IT
Source(s): AND YES THIS IS COMING FROM A WHITE WOMAN THAT DATES JUST BLACK MEN!!! WHO CARES AND WHY SHOULD IT EVEN MATTER TO ANYONE AS LONG AS WE ARE IN LOVE AND WE ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG TO OTHER PEOPLE THEN THEY NEED TO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHO I AM WITH OR WHO ANYONE IS WITH!!!! I SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY AND I AM DONE AND I REALLYYYYY DONT CARE HOW MANY THUMBS DOWNS I GET FROM THIS!!! THEY BOTH NEED TO GET A LIFE!!! - Anonymous1 decade ago
HAHA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very good. I enjoyed that. One star. So true. Plus, who cares who a Black man dates getting White stank is so common now days that I think that WHite women just want attention from Black women and are imagining it and Black men too. How pathetic. Black men are begging for attention from Black women by dating out. Black women date WHite men all the time, and you don't see us acting up-SAD.