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marigoldkelly95 asked in PetsHorses · 1 decade ago

How do I get over my horse's death?

My mare recently passed away in the most horrible way. She was getting her hooves trimmed and was tied (i wasn't there - I know better than to tie her) and something spooked her. Not uncommon since she was a hothead and went blind in one eye. She reared up, hit her head on the beams, and went down out cold. She never got back up.I froze, in my work scrubs (vet assistant) trying to keep control of her as she thrashed about trying to get up. She ended up in the walk-way, tore part of the barn apart, we had to hold her down and wait for the vet to tranquilize her so we could roll her onto a tarp and pull her back out! But alas, she thrashed again later and got cast really bad in the back corner of the run-in.Hours later, she had gashes bleeding all over her head, her legs were scraped up, and she was giving up. I asked the vet who keeps her there to go into town and get the euthanasia solution.I've seen some bad stuff in my line of work - but this is so hard! I feel like I died w/ her!

Update:

I still have a horse, but this one was my baby. I broke her and trained her. She didn't trust anyone but me. I feel like I failed her - I should've been there when she got her hooves done. This isn't my first hose death - I had to put one down with EPM, and my trainers that I worked for had a few accidents happen too. Idk, this was just so horrible. I don't know what to do to feel better and move on!

16 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Pain like this gets easier with time.

    Tragedies like this one are particularly difficult for people because they seem so terrible and senseless. I just have to believe that there is a reason for everything even if we don't understand it right now.

    I don't know what to say that would make sense of this or make it easier for you. You have my empathy. Know that the horse is no longer suffering, even if you are. Most things get easier with time. Try to think of all the good and brilliant things in your horses life (including yourself).

    Allow yourself the mourning process, but try not to stay there for too long.

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, just like losing any loved one be it human or animal, you don't ever get over it and you shouldn't try. You put a lot of love and energy into the life of the horse and shouldn't expect to just remove that memory from your heart. I always say a lost loved one hurts the heart so the memory is never forgotton.

    Feel comfort in the fact that you knew when it was time to let her go and made the decision to put her down instead of putting her through any pain and suffering that probably would have ended in the same result.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Allow yourself time! I've put several horses down, but none of them bothered me until the last one. I just felt terrible for months and still get a little wimpy when I think of it. He too, went in a bad way, and I wish I could change that. But I can't, remember all the good things about the horse, and give yourself lots of time.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    in case you learn the activities with the main horse injuries or deaths, they seem to contain velocity. additionally, unnatural or exaggerated knowledgeable strikes seem a ingredient besides. i used to be an endurance rider, overlaying from 50 to 60 miles in 5 to 10 hours. interior the early days of the sport numerous horses died. right this moment, with the consistent vet monitoring alongside the path and greater knowledgable riders, deaths are uncommon.

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  • Greg B
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Marigold, I wish I knew. Its been three years since I lost my little Arab who was my best friend and noble steed. It seems like every happy memory of my childhood has him in it. To this day, I can't even think about the night he died without crying. We got him to the vet's and he was getting better, so I thought it was safe to leave him for the night. I wasn't even there for him when he passed. I realize that my answer for you probably isn't helping at all. So, if you find the answer to your question, will you share it with me?

    Source(s): My broken heart
  • 1 decade ago

    It will get easyer as time goes by, i would just get a new horse and train it and that can be your new friend and just make sure that u r there for when it gets its hooves trimmed or anything .....

    Im really sorry bout your horse!

  • 1 decade ago

    Time, lots and lots of time. Whenever the bad pictures pop in your mind, push them out ASAP. You have already lived it enough for lifetime. Replace them with good pictures. Concentrate on how much better your life is because of her and how much better you were for her life.

    It really is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm so sorry. That's terrible. My horse is getting old and all I know is that when he dies I want him cremated so I can have a diamond made out of his ashes. It's really expensive but to me it is a great way (and non-depressing way) to keep them with you. I really truly hope that one day when I die I will be made into a nice piece of jewelry.

  • Emsky
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    you never get over it or forget but it gets easier as time passes, its the what ifs that keep you from moving on, my dog buster, who i had bred myself and was the best dog ever, jumped over a fence attached to a lead and hung himself, i found him the next morning still hanging there. it was horrible and i still get upset thinking about it, for years i blamed myself, if only i hadnt left him, if only the lead was shorter, if only he was in the house! but it doesnt change anything, i had a little memorial service for him, nothing spectacular just a pic of him and lit a candle and said good bye, sorry and told him i loved him and would miss him! it helped but i still think about him!

  • 1 decade ago

    I had to euthanize my horse that I got as a weanling at age 9, and had until I was 26. She was just coming 17, but she had cancer. I went about $10,000.00 in debt trying to save her, but the cancer had spread everywhere. I kept her until she stopped eating, had a grave dug, and walked her down into it and had her euthanized. It was horrible. I will never get over it. I only know I did everything I could do to save her and I spared no expense. So, I can live with myself because of that. Also, I only had to do it once. I will never lose her again. Also, I had her her entire life, and she had a good life and never wanted for care.

    I can offer this bit of (Un- asked- for )advice on training. To train a horse to tie, you must teach the horse to ALWAYS submit to pressure. I teach my weanlings with a clicker - like a dog and give them a reward. Tying is the LAST thing I teach a horse and the most extensive training I do - and I ride dressage - so we're talking about years of specialized training here. I teach foals to submit to the lightest pressure of my hand behind their poll. I will get them to hold their head down almost to he ground for 10 or 15 minutes just with the lightest pressure of my hand. I reward them constantly with treats for this. It is absolutely essential to teach horses to submit to the pressure - no matter what - and to trust that pressure under all circumstances. Firstly, I saw my sister kill her best friend's escape artist horse - by tying it up 'so it couldn't get loose' . He flipped over and instantly broke his neck. Secondly, dressage horses must bend at the poll and have the musculature to develop soft collection. Even a 50 lb pull being tied can damage the nerves in the poll that will prevent them from being able to do dressage. Many people 'teach' horses to tie by tying them up 'so they can't get loose'. This horse may be fine for pleasure riding or hunter/jumper, reining and gaming, but will most often cause too much nerve damage for the horse to ever excel at dressage. Dressage is the art of teaching the horse absolute willing submission to the lightest aids of the rider. It is not done thru force or harsh methods. I carry this training philosophy thru even to teaching a horse to stand tied. I am telling you this, because I have cured many panicky horses to accept pressure as a comforting presence that allows relaxation. I recommend the book on Clicker Training by Alexandra Kurland. Hopefully, this will help prevent another tragedy in you life such as this. I realize that you would never have tied the horse, but most people expect an adult horse to stand tied. There is a good chance this could happen to you again, and actually, horses flipping out from standing tied - is a pretty frequent occurrence. Secondly, I always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS ONLY use a leather halter. Leather halters will break before the horse's neck will and will usually break before a horse even pulls back very much. Even a $100.00 -plus- luxury leather halter is cheaper than ONE vet call. I could buy halters all day - and be happy to not be replacing my horse!

    Good luck to you. You have learned a hard and valuable lesson. Please spread the word on the proper methods of training a horse to tie, and the value of leather halters - and encourage others to NEVER EVER tie a horse that they are unfamiliar with - or or one they don't know for sure will stand tied thru a nuclear battle!

    Source(s): 37 years of horse ownership. Level 3 - 4 dressage. Teacher of Master Horsemanship class thru Purdue University.
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