Should we still consider it a wedding?

I would consider it a wedding...but most likely it will probably be considered a renewing of our vows by the church, which is still okay. You got married, for a good reason, and didn't have a celebration because of the timing. Now you guys want to celebrate and share your joy with everyone...so, yes you could still considerate it a wedding, but you might have to do some rewording as far as the invitations, vows, etc. But it definitely can be done.

Since you and your fiance are in the situation you are in I would definitely get married while you have the chance. Don't worry, most likely he is coming back home safe, but like you said you never know...

I had to make this decision with my husband when we found out he would be deploying to Iraq again... we went ahead with a small (100 instead of the 300 we had talked about), but "actual" wedding on 1/1/07 before he left. It was hard because it was mostly my family and only his parents and one set of his grandparents and had thought we would have a wedding renewal when he came home in Wisconsin where he family was.

At some point, though, after being married there's no point to having a "real" wedding. You're married, it's done, and there just really wouldn't be the excitement. It's basically a party at that point.

I would say that if you feel you need to get married before he goes, do so, but put together a wedding that your family can partake in. It may not be your dream wedding, but it's not the wedding that matters. My husband's exact words when he found out he was going to deploy again were "I am not leaving this country without you being my wife", so I understand that aspect. But trust me when I say that life will go on, and a "show wedding" later will seem a bit ridiculous. Unless you are a part of a religion (like Catholicism) that requires a church ceremony (in which they will look down on your court house marriage to begin with... my husband's Catholic), there is no reason for a second wedding.

Best of luck to you.

The church has nothing to do with whether or not it is a wedding.

If everyone knows you are getting married in May, then you can't call the ceremony in sept. a wedding; it would be a vow renewal. If no one knows, or if only your parents know.......

I had a bride & groom do this same thing last year & they chose to keep the first ceremony a secret from all but the bride's mother. I am not saying you SHOULD do that, I'm just saying you COULD.

It would be a wedding. You may not want to say "as they are joined in marriage" in your invitation since you will already be - but it is still your wedding.

The Justice of the Peace is the legal part. The Wedding is the ceremonial part.

In some foreign countries, people must have a civil ceremony first, then they have the church wedding.

I would say go for the JOP and the do the big "wedding" when he comes back. There is no law that says you can't have a big wedding if you got married by the justice of the peace! My MoH and BM got married and then had the wedding months later!

i'll tell ya this my husband and i got married 17 years ago by a minister in the living room of her house with just our witnesses, dressed in our jeans and t-shirts. there is nothing that says you have to get married in a church for it to be a wedding you will still be just as married, after all it is still the same piece of paper. a lot of people get married in places other than churches to me the church wedding is just a show you put on for everyone else to see, marry your man how ever you want as long as you are happy that is all that matters, if you still want the church wedding when he gets back go for it.

yes of course, in many countries the couple go to get married at the civil offices, and then have their church blessing a few days or weeks later, which is considered their real wedding in the eyes of god and the community. You can celebrate your union however and whenever you like.

Legally, you will be married at the civil union.

A wedding is when you get married, whatever the circumstances. So if you have a jp wedding now, that's the date you are getting married.

Then just throw a party at some time in the future when he is home safe. Maybe just have a lovely anniversary party.

You have time to pull off a sweet , intimate church wedding with a small cake and punch reception. Just down scale your original plan, get married May 08 and have a 1 year grand reception when he gets home again!Kind of a 1 year anniversary/homecoming bash If I were in your shoes I'd marry him right here and now. I would want my "husband" to be the one overseas not just a fiancee.

best wishes...........................

if it were me, I would have told you 'this counts as your gift so don't get us anything! just come and perform and that's your gift to us'. I think it's safe to assume that since you're part of the wedding, you don't have to give a gift BUT they ARE paying to feed you at the reception. however they aren't paying another singer $$$, so you're saving them money and it's a wash. at the very least, get them a card so you're not empty handed at the wedding.