Can you help me with this poem?

Question

As I Lay Crying,
the Trail of Tears has begun,
and soon I will drown in them.
murder myself on quitter’s lane.

the Rains have begun,
and the water holds death,
and the water brings life.
soon We’ll be the ones
getting laughed at,
as the water pours down,
and the Soft Rains begin again.

For it is so much easier to submit,
to fall, to cry, to beg forgiveness,
and then grant it yourself.
Submit to the pain, become part of it.
Live with it and for it and by it.

For the pain feels so good,
and soon Nothing else Matters,
and soon everyone will see.
Of course, you caN’t hide forever,
and the devil always gets what’s been offered.

Submit, you fools.
areN’t you fully aware of the complications
that arise from your own actions?
Submit, and then the End will come,
quick and painless and followed by tears.Submit, and so you shall rest,
as the rest lay weeping.

and soon even the Mocking Bird
falls from the sky,
drowning in the tears of the Earth

b4iquit · Accepted Answer

This poem is a bit unusual to me. I guess you are trying to be mocking and cajoling and confronting?

I don't know that it actually fits with suicide in general. I also don't get the last verse, or perhaps I do, but then would not the bird be in tears from laughter. 

I have an unusual view of suicide to me it simply means peace, nothing more and certainly not something done on quitter's lane.

I think there can be pain in this world where the only way to escape the pain is to escape yourself. You can change lots about your life, where you work or live, what you wear, who your friends are and the list goes on. But you still can not escape yourself and the pain follows you because it is you. If that part of self is in immense pain, then suicide becomes peace. I don't advocate it as the first thing to do when things get tough, nor do I think g/f, b/f, school issues and other normal life challenges justify suicide. I am talking of destructive pain. I still believe in fighting it, perhaps, but a time may come where the individual cant do that and deserves the peace.

Good luck with the writing

Be safe, be sage

Edit: So how do you fit innocence in with suicide. Assuming there is a 'valid' reason for the persons action, would that not  negate the idea of innocence or is the bird lamenting lost innocence. Does suicide destroy innocence of the reasons that led to it?
You know you write very interesting poems, at times subtle and complex but interesting. Although mayhap I am just highlighting my lack of skill in interpretation...

? · Answer

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not always must rhyme however it demands to hit my feelings. I believe readability of expression is main as good. I do not love to moment bet what I'm studying approximately. I constantly appear for what I time period "poetic gem stones"within the textual content.

meamii · Answer

If you like i can give you one of mine which i think would help your friend.  I can explain it too cause most of mine take a little thinking to figure out lol that way u can try to explain to ur friend.  Yours is good but i get mixed feelings from reading it if you would work on it a bit you might be able to give him that but put more supportive thoughts in it. hmmm like new friends and new enviroument and new beginnings. Over coming all etc etc.

pat · Answer

I do not get it,
Are you writing this for your friend or for your friend? 
 If you are writing this for your friend why can your friend not write her own poem ? You could perhaps just help her express her own feelings.
 but 
if your are writing this for ( to help)your friend then I wonder about her ability to comprehend so much  literary abstraction in such a state of depression. Sometimes the human touch is more healing and powerful than words.

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Can you help me with this poem?

4 Answers