Does anyone else think Destination Weddings are rude?

Here is my take on destination weddings:

1. I think they are fine for whomever wants to have one.

2. If a person getting married on some island wants to invite everyone they know, then let them...they shouldn't expect a gift though.

3. If it were a family member/friend very close to me, and I couldn't attend the wedding, I would send a gift.

4. If it was some neighbor, business associate, long lost cousin, I would personally be a little miffed that they sent me an invite, because at that point, they probably don't really want all of these people to come, they are sending the invite for the gift. I wouldn't give them one, just a card.

5. I wouldn't think of ANY destination wedding invite as a dictate as to how I am spending my vacation time. I would think of it as simply an invitation..and make my decision on the gift based on my above opinions.

6. Again: there is no "force" in invitation. Don't feel that you are obligated to go at all.

What is rude about inviting someone to a wedding regardless of where it's held? If you can't make it for whatever reason then you don't have to go.

The only thing that would be rude is if the couple expects you to go and expects a gift - and I doubt that is the case.

I think most people who choose to have destination weddings want to have a more intimate affair in a unique location. Sometimes they're less expensive but sometimes they're NOT. They don't get a Free vacation someone is paying for the wedding and accommodations - where did you get that idea from? Also as some others mentioned if you have guests spread out everywhere that's also a reason some people choose to have their wedding in another location all together. There are other guests on the list and unfortunately someone will always be "inconvenienced" no matter what.

To the previous poster who said if they got an invitation for a Destination wedding they'd send the whole thing back - now THAT is RUDE.

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You are not required to attend or to even send a gift.

If the couple wants to have a destination wedding, that is their choice. It is also your choice whether to attend or not.

When you think about it, every wedding is somewhat of a destination wedding because most guests are required to travel. You wouldn't have a seperate ceremony and reception in each area where your guests are located (i.e. a handful of friends and relatives live in Boston so get married there, then do the same so your guests in NY or Florida or California don't have to travel) because it has unnecessary expenses. Even couples who have their wedding in the bride's hometown even though she and possibly even her parents don't live there anymore have destination weddings.

While I don't quite get the whole at-home-reception, it seems to work for most people. A destination wedding is not a breach of etiquette. Since this is their choice, you and every other guest can do your own thing when it's your turn to get married.

The bride and groom have to pay for their airfare and lodging too so it's not free for them. No idea where you got that from.

I have been to 3 destination weddings and never once did I feel obligated to go or to give a gift. If anything, I thought it was a fantastic way to spend time with others that I would not normally go on vacation with. Plus, the wedding seemed a bit more special because it was an entire weekend of activities and events. When a bride and groom plan a destination wedding, they do not EXPECT everyone to attend that is invited, nor do they EXPECT everyone to bring a "pricey" gift, in fact most couples do not expect a gift at all. You spending the money to attend their special event is considered a gift to them.

I agree with what others have said that you are being unreasonable. If you don't want to go and spend your "precious" vacation time with them then don't go. If you don't want to give them a gift either, don't. Nobody is forcing you to do anything. Keep your mouth shut about it and politely decline the invitation. I don't think they couple would appreciate someone with such negativity attending their wedding anyway.

Why would it be rude? If that is what the bride and groom want then it is their choice. The guests have an option of going or not. If you don't want to spend your vacation time and money to go where they are going, then you simply say no.

The bride and groom will probably expect that the majority of the people invited will not attend. It is a big expense for some people and I'm sure they will understand that not everyone can afford that.

I have been invited to 4 destination weddings. One I was able to go to and 3 I was not. The couple understood why I couldn't go and I understood why they did want to have their wedding there.

If you don't want to go spend your vacation time and money on this wedding then say no. It's as simple as that. What's the problem?

If you don't want to go or can't afford to go then you don't go. How difficult is that? Most people do not expect a gift even if they have their wedding back home. I'm having a destination wedding in a location that everyone we're inviting wants to go to and none of them had a problem with our decision because they know it is our wedding. We realized from the start that not everyone would be able to attend and that was fine with us. We realized that whether or not they attend it is up to them if they still want to get us a gift and that is fine with us. Who are you to judge how other people want to have their wedding? No one says you have to go, no one says you have to give a gift. If you don't agree with it then fine, you're entitled to have your own opinions. But don't put others down who want to have that kind of wedding. Why should a couple have a wedding back home to please other people? It's their wedding and to some extent they can do whatever they want for it.

Nope - I don't agree with you at all.

I'm doing a private destination/elopement - just the 2 of us, but people know we are going, and getting married.

I know several people who have had destination weddings. They have all let people know 18 - 24 months in advance, so that they could plan. They didn't 'expect' people to come, but those who did, were grateful for the advanced notice, and the vacation. The couples didn't expect a gift, as the cost of the vacation was enough. My friends also had their guests stay at an all inclusive place, 'off season', so it was not as expensive as it could've been.

I don't think it's rude. I wouldn't have one because I would want my friends and family to be able to attend, but nothing says you HAVE to go, and if it is someone who would invite you to their wedding in the first place why wouldn't you be happy to send them a gift? Also, how is a destination wedding a free vacation for the people getting married? Aren't they expensive?

I don't think they are rude unless the couple is guilting you into attending.

If I don't have the days or money, I wouldn't go and I wouldn't send a gift.

That being said, my fiance & I have a majority of both our families in another state and if any of them want to attend our wedding, they are going to have to travel (about 3 hours by car). We've done our best to keep it fairly convenient. We are working on getting a deal on hotel rooms. We are doing it on a Saturday so working folk wouldn't lose time from work unless they wanted to come out a day early. If it is prohibitive for anyone, I am OK with it if they choose not to attend.