I am pregnant and don't want to leave my husband. I just want him to realize that he is mean to me.?

I understand what you want and I have been there but let me tell you from experience you cannot manipulate someone into treating you the way YOU want them to. You can only control your reaction to the situation and what the outcome is. If you don't want to lose him then I wouldn't leave him because he sounds alot like my boyfriend and anytime I have threatened to do thing like "leave him" then he would say similar things like your husband has said.

We have now worked things out and I have got to know him on a different level and he feels defensive and threatened when I say things like " I am going to leave you" and he feels like it will make him a "weak" man if he starts begging me to stay when I am not happy.

So I have learned to only threaten him with what I am truly willing to lose and instead I will tell what is really bothering me and I have explain to him exactly how I want to be treated and I say things like "baby you know what you could do that would really make me happy?" and he responds really well to that and we are now very happy.

Hope this helps... oh and keep in mind during pregnancy our hormones are out of control and things can get blown out of proportion and we may feel differently once you have the baby so don't do anything crazy!!!

EDIT: I just read your other posting..... and that is a hard situation. If I were in your position I would try to wait it out until after the baby is born in hopes that he will change.... Sometimes it isn't until after the baby is born that he will truley understand and "feel" like a father???

or he could be one of those guys who never change I hope not but I am an optimist and I will always hold on an hope for the best and in my case it has went 50/50 sometimes in my favor and sometimes not. Only time will tell.

Good Luck!!

Oh my, before reading the first post from yesterday, I was preparing to tell you that men are stubborn, and very simple people(I'm a Man I would know lol..). Many Men get the Wife's role confused with the Mother or Sister. Now that I have read the whole thing, from my understanding of what I have read, your husband sounds like he has other further issues.

Now I must say to you, this is not just HIS fault, although he is not 100% @ the moment. It is your fault for not knowing him well enough prior to marriage, and specifically before becoming pregnant. That being said.. The Past is the past what is imnportant is how to procede.

What you must first establish is has this always been the problem?

How was he raised?

How were you raised?

What does his family think, of how his actions?

Are you contributing something to set him off?

Do you think harm will come to you or your unborn if you do leave?

Do you think harm will come to you or your unborn if you do stay?

Where would you go?

Where would he go?

What would you do?

What would he do?

I know it all sounds very scary, and I honestly dont know if I could leave if I was in your shoes, as I think most things can be worked out, but in some circumstances it may be important for you to leave if you feel he may become violant, or in other circumstances.

One last question:

Did you marry out of love or lust?

Good Luck!

why would you want to stay with someone who doesnt take you seriously, who doesnt care about whether you stay or leave? come on now. Is that really how you want to live your life? If he doesnt value you, what good is he to you? Just because you love him? Trust me, you'll get over that part.

I used to be so deeply in love with this guy who used to treat me like crap. I ended up pregnant by him and had a miscarriage and he wasnt there to support me at all. But even still, I continued on with the relationship for another three years and the whole time, he was horribly mean to me. Not physically but emotionally. He didnt care one way or the other until finally i asked myself, "What in the hell do you love so much about this man?" He isnt good to you. He isnt providing you with anything but misery. And yet i was scared to leave.

Well one day i got the balls and I did leave and let me tell you, it was the best thing i ever did. And there i was, thinking he was my everything, my life and he WASNT! I found a man who appreciated me. Loved me. I had wasted all that time and for what? A man who was an imbecile.

You may be pregnant hunny, but that doesnt mean you are helpless and stupid. Open your eyes to the light. You let that man know how you feel and if he doesnt shape up then you're out of there. It may be hard but damn it, in the end, you owe it to yourself to have peace in your world.

Now I leave you with this thought... Why is it that we Ignore the people that Adore us, Adore the people that Ignore us, Love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones who love us?

What do you mean by "mean to you"? If he is physically abusize..you need to get help right away. The stress from an abusive relationship can not only be dangerous to you, but your unborn baby as well. Have him seek counseling, if you think there is still a chance for you two work things out. Talk to him about your feelings, but do not kid yourself. If you like the abuse then stay in the marriage, but it wont be a happy marriage and your unborn child could end up being the same way as the father.

Hi NS I really feel for you because it seems like your husband has had his fun and now does not want to know.

Leaving is never an easy decision, but the priority has to be the welfare of the little one, and bringing a baby into a situation where there is going to be strife is no good for you or the baby.

You have to look at the situation, decide what is best then go for it. You could try explaining your fears to your husband, but I honestly get the feeling he is more concerned with himself than anything else.

Good look in whatever you decide. Mike t

well, first off, don't feel bad because every relationship has its downside. Everyone says that once a female gets pregnant, it all of a sudden become arguments in the relationship because basically it's hard for both of you all to realize it, although, i am 3 months pregnant, and me and my boyfriend haven't had any breakouts or arguments more than likely it's soon to come.Plus that's a marriage you are talking about. I think you should not talk it over with his sister and her husband because one thing a man does not like is his business told, so just try to work it out with him or just give it a little more time,, I'm sure you and your husband will soon get along very fine, just let him know how you feel and conversate with him, because who knows, he probably doesn't realize how mean he's being to you, so just bring it to his attention..

He doesn't sound like a very good husband at all and you deserve to be treated better than that. If you leave he will see that you have strength and will not allow yourself to be pushed around and treated like a 2nd class citizen. He will either respect you for it and come around or he will run for the hills because he wants a weak woman to push around.

You can leave and do this on your own and make sure he pays child support. You can also find support groups for single moms and do very well until you find a partner for life who actually respects you and treats you as an equal.

Leave. Don't keep giving him the opportunity to put you down to make him feel better. He's messed up and needs to ge some help. You and this baby should be his first priority. This is mental abuse and it's not going to change, people don't change. Sorry to say, but it's the truth. Just imagine how he will be to your child, then what do you do when you child treats their spouse like this? It's a never ending cycle until you end it. You are responsible for this child, so leave now while you have this chance. Good Luck, stay strong. Love

Don't move out unless you are prepared to leave him for good. He may see the error of his ways, but he may look at it as a releif if he reall doesn't want you and a child in his life and you will end up alone. He sounds like the kind of jerk who may end up leaving you eventually anyway. You say that you worry that he doesn't recognize your value, but I don't think that YOU recognize your value if you are willing to live like this. We can't tell you what you should do, because you will have to live with your decision, not us, but make sure that whatever you decide, you can live with the results of that decision.

Hmmm i think that if you leave then its very likely that he is not going to come after you. Im so sorry to say that, its not the way we want our lives to go. My partner is so supportive, i have never met anyone so loving. We all deserve the fairy tale. There IS someone out there who is your prince charming, and who will adore you. You DO NOT deserve to spend the rest of your life in a one sided relationship, and it will hurt your child more to be living with arguing loveless parents.

If you love someone set them free, if they truely love you, they will come back.

If I were you i would leave. I would have all my stuff packed when he gets home in 4 days, and ask if he has thought about anything. If he still has the blaise attitude then get out of there, and tell him he needs to think about whats important in his life

GOOD LUCK x