Mormon. Would church have a problem with you if your friend left the church and you were often seen with them?

The only reason I would see that this might occur is if your friend left the church and was very ANTI. This sort of antagonism is NOT an easy, comfortable or good thing to be around and has been known to bring another persons faith DOWN right along with it instead of being a positive worthwhile friendship as it once might have been.

I have a personal friend (or 2) who have left the church and I have personally FELT how it affected me deeply and in a troubling way and I realized how detrimental it might be for my own personal faith & spirituality if I was around this person very often. So as much as we like to think or say it shouldn't matter or make a difference - it can & does.

I guess it would depend on what the friend was involved in. Let's say the friend is bowling, but the league they're in is one that openly supports something that the church is against...say homosexuality or porn or something like that. Then while it would be fine to go bowling with your friend, it would be considered questionable (perhaps highly questionable) if you went bowling with your friend on a night when the league was bowling and your friend was on the team. It would be hard to convince others that you were not in support of whatever the league was in support of if you chose to stay and bowl with them.

Generally speaking I think LDS would feel uneasy doing something like that. I know I would.

EDIT: However, if your friend was say drinking coffee or smoking a cigarette, for a lot of people that would be different. I think it really depends on the person, and what the person who is no longer a member is doing/is known for/etc.

EDIT: Will wonders never cease! I agree with beachlady. If a person is in open rebellion then it's seen as different than if someone just decides for themselves that it's not true and really doesn't make a big deal about it.

EDIT: You said, "...if I am understanding what you and others have said, then this perspective could explain part of the answers I am looking for. Does this make sense to anybody else, or have I got it messed up in some way?"

I say that you got it right, at least from my perspective. It's not the only reason, I'm sure, but it is a big one and I think it plays a big part in the rest of the reasons.

Sorry to hear about your experience with members of the Church. They are so imperfect at times. I think the only reason they wouldn't bless the baby is because when that is done the baby is also put into the records of the church. If the baby has no parents in the records where would they put the baby. That being said I see NO reason you couldn't receive a blessing for your child. Maybe you should ask the Missionaries to give your child a blessing. Their authority is through the Mission President and not the Bishop(I think). Please, I would press this issue cause I don't think they are very clear on the issue here. Sorry about your bad experiences, please don't judge the entire church for the actions of a few uninformed or imperfect members who are just really trying to do their best.

This has already been stated, but the answer is no, as long as you are not part of any anti- group. Association is noted, if that is the case, but the real purpose of the question is to determine temple worthiness.

As to associating with someone who has left the church, the following link is to a talk given just this last April in General Conference. It concerns "the one" and is well worth the time to read what it says. This, by the way, is not the first talk from general authorities that i have heard on the subject, and given that it is part of our doctrines, then it is a necessary part of our lives - to reach out for the one who has left, in hopes that they will return.

Concern for the One, given by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, published in the May, 2008, Ensign and Liahona.

Edit: I'll try to answer your question by saying that I think a lot has to do with some of the things you've discussed in the past - that some priesthood leaders are not following the instructions. Given the repetitive nature of the talks on the subject, I have the feeling that the problem is relatively widespread, which is the reason behind those talks. As to why? - My guess is that the authority is attempting to follow "the letter" of the instructions, rather than the "spirit" of the instructions. Thus, they forget that members are attempting to continue to love those who have left the church and even those who have been very hurtful in their claims.

Human nature...

Who do you mean when you say, "the Church?" You mean my local ward? They don't monitor who I socialize with. I socialize with both Mormons and non-Mormons. As does most every Mormon friend I know. In my area, there are individuals who have left the Church, or have never been active, but they are still accepted, included, and are part of friends, family, and community events.

I am FLOORED by some of the perceptions of people! You think that it would be considered public apostasy? Wow, were does that come from? Actually, it would more likely be considered fellow-shipping!

If one is judged, and I would be lying if I said we weren't, we are judge our own behavior and what it says about us. If I maintain a friendship with a woman who left her husband and stopped attending church, there is no wrong there. If I go club hopping with her, my behavior might be questionable. But apostasy? I am accountable for only my own behavior, not someone elses.

hanging - i don't understand your frustration. You have lots of good answers here. I think what it boils down to is, the Church does not have a SECRET RULE somewhere about whether or not you should or should not associate with someone who has left the church. It comes to individual circumstances and how we handle issues. I know of some families who would cut off a child who leaves the church, but I have a young adult daughter who has left the church and I would NEVER cut her out of my life. I love her dearly and she knows it. Occasionally we speak of religion, but when it becomes uncomfortable, (and I can always tell when she thinks I am preaching to her) then it stops. My sister has not been active in the church for many years. She engages in a number of behaviors I feel are inappropriate. But I maintain a relationship with her.

Friendships are built on mutual trust, shared values and interests. If those things change, then the friendship will enviably change also. Not because of anything the Church dictates, but because of the nature of human relationships.

Please feel free to email me if you want to discuss this in greater detail.

Wishing you the best - Tory

I don't think it is a question of an actual church rule. It is more about social pressure from within that often convinces people to cut ties with someone who has left the church. I left about 6 months ago along with my wife and the majority of our "friends" want nothing to do with us anymore and have told us in a very blunt way that it is because we are apostates.

It's sad really but atleast we know now who are real friends are.

*Added*

Pinkadot said: "Most of the time, if you hear something, and it sounds far-fetched, it usually is."

Really? I think it is a matter of perception. Something that may seem far-fetched to me might be quite normal to you. I think many of the claims the LDS church makes are far-fetched but you and others in the church accept them as very possible or certain fact. It helps to look at both sides of a story to be able to determin what is more plausable, which is what I think "Hanging in there" is doing.

There are several people that left the church in my area because they don't believe it anymore, but they still have friends among the members. We still invite them to the activities and they often come! There's no antagonism.

The scenario you present may happen sometimes, but in my experience it's the exception, not the rule. And you're right, it shouldn't happen.

There is also a person I can think of that left the church and doesn't come to anything anymore. He has cut all ties. But I can guarantee you, if he were to show up all of the sudden, people would go up to him and talk to him and make him feel welcome, not avoid him. Maybe it's just my congregation, but our church isn't as unfriendly as it sometimes seems like you think it is....just an FYI.

P.S. - I'm being honest. I've never felt uneasy seeing or spending time with someone that left the church...I don't know why I would.

I have friends who have left the church for differences in the culture more for the doctrine, and sometimes people see the culture and mistake it for the doctrine. The church encourages all its people to love everyone else and see the stories everyone has to tell, and make intelligent decisions, and not shun someone just because they don't believe the same now as they once did.

My one friend from my high school days decided the church wasn't for her, I listened, and was sad, but I have no control over her life, and if she still wanted me in her life I would be, but we haven't talked in about 5 months now.

I all reality there are two opinions that matter in life (our own lives) God's and the person that is making the decision. No one else has the right to tell others what to believe.

I have a friend that left the church a little before I left on my mission. Now that I'm back, I've been hanging out with him again. His life has changed, and he notices that. I see him wanting to be a better person now and he is making the attempts necessary to do so. I've never been told to alienate him nor do I plan to alienate him. He needs continual good influence in his life. Otherwise, what kind of Christian would I be?

If he had intentions to change me against my will or to be someone I'm not, then that's a different story. I would probably find it less fun to be with him and therefor spend less time with him since he would be tempting me to do things against the norm that God has set, but that's not the case.

No I have a really good friend who has not "officially" left the church, but does not follow the teachings at all. She was even my roommate for a while and everyone was good with it.

Where the problem comes is if my friend goes to Anti-mormon meetings and I go with her and endorse those things.

I have another friend who grew up in a family that while, they are active LDS (meaning they go to church regularly) are very fundamentalist and have many anti government and anti LDS views. Her dad probably would have started his own compound, but he was too lazy and way too creepy. He did try to start one though, but with him it never happened. I have been friends with her my whole life. In the temple reccomend interview, there is a question about association with these types, I told them about my friend and her parents (my friend is not as crazy as her parents). They asked me If I agree or participate in any of these things. When I told them that I do not, that was enough.

We can be friends with whomever we want. It is when we start actively speaking out against church policy that we get into trouble.

Edit**

I know of those who will disown their children and other family members who leave the church. I think that is a stupid reason to disown a child. I think the only way I would cut off a family member or friend is if their behavior was harmful to my family or myself (like if they were abusive or something). Those who disown family members because they left the church are not being Christ-like and not following the counsel of our leaders. That is their own choice and they are wrong. I have no explanation for their behavior though, but it is wrong. However, we don't always know the whole story. I have a sister who left the church for a time- but not only did she leave, she kept putting her children in dangerous situations by the associations she had made with ex-cons and abusive men. We were all very worried about her kids and were very upset at her. She used to say that we all turned on her because she stopped going to church. That is not the case at all. We were concerned about her children and angry at her for what she was doing to her kids- they are separate issues.

In my experience 95% of the time when someone says the church and it's members have turned on them because they left, they are usually not telling the whole story. There is usually much more to the story, like their behavior when they are around the family or other choices they made.