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I am having MAJOR issues with my mother. What to do?
My mother has always been very judgmental of everything I have ever done in my life. I am 22, almost 23. Ever since high school, she has always accused me of being a slut or doing drugs. I never dated at all in high school, I had one male friend and my mom knew he was gay. I have also never touched any drug in my life. I had my first real boyfriend at 19, and have only been in 2 other relationships since then.
I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months and we are in a serious monogamous relationship, it has been since the beginning. She still constantly accuses me of acting like trailer trash or that my behavior is slutty. My boyfriend and I are talking about moving in together sometime within the next year, and I occasionally spend the night at his house, she of course thinks that it's slutty behavior and get mad when I do it. Yes, I do still live at home, but I pay for my share of the rent, bills, and my car.
The other night I went out with my friend, we just went to the store and out to dinner. I wore a t-shirt and jeans and converse, and she said that next day that I dressed slutty and different than I normally do around my friend. (My wardrobe consists of mostly t-shirt and jeans)
So I am just trying to figure out how to tell her that I am an adult and she has no say in what decisions I make anymore?
6 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
It is true that moms are protective of their children. Maybe if you become more open to her, and tell her things that would comfort her, and share your problems to her, she would loosen up to you. I always tell my mom everything that's happening in my life, from my friends to crushes. At first I felt nervous, but now I feel confident telling things to my mom because she understands, and gives me her trust. I hope this helps you! Good Luck!
- 1 decade ago
If you can pay your portion of bills and utilities living with your mother, you can pay them without her. So move with your boyfriend. She is not going to change her opinion of you, and it doesn't seem like becoming a nun would even help. You said you and your bf have talked about living together, so try it, if you have been together 8 months, it seems like the next step anyways.
As you are moving, let your mother know that you are doing it because you will not tolerate her attitude or behavior anymore, and unless she can control her abusive behavior, she is not welcome in your new home. Then stop speaking with her for a while. Dont go out of your way to be rude, but some space can really help, maybe she will see that you are grown up, and not a slut.
Hope it helps!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I would have to say sit down and talk with her about it and then start looking for somewhere to move to on your own, even with your boyfriend. She will have to let you go sometime and know that the things she taught you were right and you can handle yourself. She is probably trying to hold onto you, maybe she is lonely and is afraid of you leaving her. Talk with her, but you're right she doesn't control you, you are your own person, who makes their own decisions, and she should know you are smart ebough to know what is right and what is wrong.
- 1 decade ago
Move out... then you dont have to deal with it anymore not unless you decide to answer her phone calls ..that easy.. no matter what anyone one says.. you know better than anyone else who you are and what you are about , /good luck
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
its your choice but idk if spending the night with your boyfriend is a very good thing to do. but she should give you space if ur 22.
