Is my marriage over?

Okay darling....listen up. You've been married for 18 yrs. That means that for 18 yrs you and your husband have developed the in differences that escalated to the point that now intimacy and everything else has gone down the tubes.

Even if you and yours work things out, counseling or whatever, the probability of success is very slim.

You see, you both have aquired so much against each other in 18 yrs...it's almost impossible to refute. The only solution is to take the pain and walk away from it.

18 yrs down the tubes, but look at it this way...next time around you know what to look for and what to avoid so that your next relationship will be right because as much as I do not want to tell you this...your marriage is over and you won't accept that right now.

It sounds like you don't want your marriage to be over, and I really don't think it needs to be. It sounds to me like your husband may be depressed, and so he probably does not have as much to give to you as he may have in the past. Counseling really can help get things out in the open, and a counselor can say things in a way that you can't to your husband. Even if you can't get your husband to go to counseling, though, I would really suggest getting yourself into some counseling, because a counselor can really help you work through some of the issues that you have with your husband, and can help you feel like you are validated in your feelings, and that you may just need to take a different tack in sharing your needs with your husband.

It really just sounds like your husband is having a really tough time right now, and he needs you by his side now more than ever, but you also need to let him know that you have needs too. So just try and ask him to do small manageable things for you. Like just ask him if you can sit by him and hold his hand while he watches soccer. You need to make sure that you are expressing your needs in the relationship. And tell him before you even start to consider to leave, so that he can have time to try and fix things.

If what you say is true, and I believe it to be so, then you are nothing more than a shadow offering maid service. ( I believe someone else said about the same thing )

Yes, 18 years is a lot to give up. Giving up that 18 year investment will also allow you to become a person in all respects again, rather than just a shadow.

I'll not sit here and say it will be easy. It won't. It will be worth while though. There simply is no point in being that unhappy in your life.

Good luck !

Sounds like he may be under a lot of stress. I think men respond differently than women. They shut down it gives them time to think.

I would try and be more sympathetic with him. Respond to him like you are on his side, part of his team and ask him if he needs to talk or if you can help him.

Maybe if he doesn't look at you as the enemy things will turn around. Thats if you want them to.

On the other hand if you really feel like it might be over. Sit down and share those feelings but do it in a calm nonthreatening way. Good Luck.

It is so hard to start over but I think that the first step that you have to take is to speak with an attorney about the situation and the finances as to what you will get in the divorce. Make sure that you will be able to support yourself without him. If you can't stick it out until you come up with a way that you can support yourself on your own. After this tell him your intentions and maybe he will want to work things out when he know you are serious about leaving (that is if you want to work things out). If he doesn't seem to care then get out and you will be much happier

i would leave. the husband is showing no love and affection, hes pushing you away and is making poor choices at his job that he knows will affect not only him, but you too. he doesnt remember the important dates such as the anniversary. i mean he sounds like a lazy bum. i would really try to talk to him, like really really really try to get his attention. and even after that he hasnt shown any attention. then yea, get out. why waste your time with a zombie. why? when hes gone to work, pack your bags and leave. let him come to an empty house and see if he'll show any emotion. bring a girlfriend over to help you.

Normally I'd say you both need to just talk, maybe write each other letters, get everything out in the open, but if he won't even speak with you, won't even hold your hand (literally and figuratively), then yes, your marriage probably is over. You've helped him plenty, it's time for him to give back. Tell him you are sorry, but you can't stay married to someone who ignores you, and it's just too late to reconcile because if he cared, he wouldn't have put you through misery all these years.

Maybe you picking up and leaving would get him to realize. Right now it sounds like you stuck there so much that he thinks he can treat you however he wants to and you will always stay. Prove him wrong and you might see a change. If not, you sound like a smart woman, Go out on your own, sounds like you would be better off without his financial blunders..

sounds like hes depressed.probably because of the business problems.or could be going through a mid life crisis type thing.unfortunately its affecting you/the relationship.all you can really do is mention counseling or tell him he needs to open up and talk to you or its over.set a time limit,not like 2 days but at least a week.

18 years of marriage is a lot to walk out on without some counseling. See a counselor and try to get both sides of the story out.