I'm putting my husband out

Personally, I think that you have to be very careful about a physically abusive man. If he is going to act like a bastard and then start getting physical with you so early into the relationship, I can only imagine how he will behave once the novelty of being married wears off.

I think you should put him out to think about what he has done. And I think that you have to have a long hard think about whether you are prepared to forgive someone who was verbally and physically abusive.

It sounds like you are a strong woman who has no problem standing up for herself. The question is, will this man learn not to be violent and treat you like crap? If he can learn that, does he have enough other qualities that make him worth keeping?

EDIT: I am astonished by how many Neanderthals have posted that a married woman should not be allowed to go out with whomever she chooses. Did I get transported to Iran while I was asleep? What the heck? Since when does becoming married make the woman property and not allowed to do what she pleases? Unreal. Some people need to wake up and notice it's 2008 not 1728.

This is a terrible situation, Lia. You really need to get some help in your relationship. I think you should separate until some anger management help is taken. On a different subject, the male friend would make any normal husband uncomfortable. You really have to take a look at what you are doing and decide if you really want to add that interference into the mix of what looks like a marriage that needs some desperate help already. Good luck!

You guys really need to take a break from each other before one of you ends up damaged for life or in jail. Both of you need some anger management, since this clearly got way out of hand. You need to think about who you go out with for drinks. Perhaps there is a female friend that you can go with? It wasn't a good idea to go out drinking with any man while you and your husband were fighting. The best bet, if you had to go out drinking, would have been to go out with a woman. But, done is done. Take a break now before things get work. See a marriage counselor so that you will know how best to approach this kind of thing next time. Ask your husband to seek counseling for his jealousy and anger. Get some anger management therapy for yourself. Good luck

First off, where is it written that we cannot have platonic friends of the opposite sex ? The base knee jerk reactions of people that believe this just amazes me. There is however, a boundary that is virtually invisible that should not ever be crossed. I think you may have crossed that line in your husband's mind since you had had an arguement earlier of some sort.

Second, I believe you two do need a cooling off period and space so you will have the time to assess what is important to each of you. I am thinking there are some issues here that are on going and continued face to face interaction right now is not going to be positive.

Just my opinion.

Well, personally I do not think it is right for a married women to go have a drink with a guy. friend lil bro it doesn't matter. When your in a relationship that is REAL and not full of Drama you will see this to. It just does NOT work. Did you ever noticed that a HAPPILY married couple does not have a WHOLE BUNCH of outside relationships? And NEVER of the opposite sex, I think you need to try again. ONLY IF YOU are willing to get rid of all the XTRA things that are getting in the way of the most important thing, YOUR MARRIAGE

People are allowed to have friends of the oppsoite sex...i agree with you on that. I think that maybe taking a break from each other would be beneficial since there is a lot of anger in the relationship right now. Maybe you should try counseling to work on the issues you have. You said yourself that you don't want your marriage to end....then don't. You both are still new in your relationship and are still learning about each other. Have this experience be a learning one where both of you can learn and grow from it. Although, if he hurts you again maybe that should be your cue to leave....or put him out for good.

Let me put it like this. I have been married for 24 yrs. First and only one.

When you gave your vows, I can only assume part of them would be to forsake all others, This means your husband comes first you are to consider his feelings before going and having a drink with another guy who is not your lil bro. I think that he may be right with being upset. However the physical abuse from him and to him is never alright.

If you need to clear your head, take a walk with your man and talk.

Pleas remember communication is the KEY

I feel you're right. If he had a problem with you going out with this guy, he should have spoken to you about it before you left, not gotten so mad at you that when you came home and he had to verbally and physically attack you. You have the right to hang out with whom ever you please, don't listen to the people above, but what's important is taking your partner's feelings into consideration. If they feel the relationship is inappropriate and their reasons are valid, then you should have consideration enough to choose your spouse over a friend. I don't feel it is right to go get drunk with a male friend when you're having problems with your marriage, that situation doesn't even sound right, but I don't believe you shouldn't be allowed to have friends no matter what their sex might be.

A real mature adult who had a problem with someone's behavior would have let them know instead of just masking their feelings until they exploded. Obviously he doesn't know how to communicate with you and if he's going to act like that because he didn't like something that you did, then I think it is best that he leave. You were defending yourself and I don't blame you. He had no right to lash out at you in that manner. Let him know that you will not be in a relationship to where he feels he has to hold everything in until he explodes. His physical behavior leads me to believe that he's capable of much more and you're right to make him leave. I don't often recommend therapy because I feel two people should be able to work out their own problems, but it sounds like you two need some couple's counseling on better communicating with each other. If he doesn't agree to some sort of help, then I wouldn't agree to let him back in my house.

Good luck.

Definitely try and work things out but start by putting him out for a while. You're on the right track from what I read. Letting him stay after an altercation like that will just give him the impression that he can do as he pleases with no repercussions. Keep your foot down! Best of luck.

Both of you have issues. What he did was wrong, but you could have killed him. A blunt weapon to the head is very dangerous. Time apart to cool down and some serious counseling to learn how to communicate like adults, not wild animals, would help. Good luck.