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Baby Shower Gift for someone you don't like?

My brother and his wife are having their first kid and I've been invited to the baby shower. I will be unable to attend (I've had an international vacation planned for 8 months and will be out of the country on that day), however, I know I have to send a gift, etiquette says so. My question is, what is the best gift to give for a first baby? I usually get clothes, but I know they don't need that stuff. What about a lamp with a cow on it (cows are my signature thing)? Would that be appropriate? Or should I get onesies and other outfits? The baby is supposed to be born sometime in the winter (though I don't know the date, because I don't care that much).

Thanks in advance for your help!

Update:

I like my brother just fine. It's his wife - who thought she was going to be a doctor in 4 months by going into the military - that I can't tolerate. Should I penalize my brother because he picked the wrong person to marry?

17 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Wow. are you my long lost twin or something.

    I was just recently in the SAME situation.. I HATE my brother's wife, she's a pathological liar, and doesnt have a brain cell in her head..(sounds similar to your SIL, 4 months to be a doc? lmao.)

    Anyway..Don't penalize your brother. He will eventually realize his mistake. Meanwhile, you have a neice or nephew on the way, that might be half your terrible sister-in-laws, but it's also half your brothers(so we hope..no jk =) but i put a smile on your face, lol.) That kid will be your family, so don't ostracize it, it's not the kids fault, it didnt ask to be born.

    As far as baby shower gifts go..Onesies and little outfits..Bibs...Diapers..Babies R Us gift cards...first teddy bears, etc..stuff like that...find out the theme and sprinkle in some cows =) i mean you dont want to buy them a lamp for the nursery if they already have one..What about a baby soft/safe little cow..

    I hope that works out for you, I got lucky and my SIL smoked & drank until she miscarried.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Scented candles are always a nice gift. You can pick a cheap one up that comes in a cute container for around $3 each. I cut squares out of fabric and filled each one with little chocolates and hard candy, then tied it up with a bow. The guests all thought they were really cute, and everyone likes candy. You can also buy a gift set of lotions and body washes, then split the stuff into individual prizes. The dollar store also has cute little things that work great for gifts. It's not about the prize they win anyways, it's about the bragging rights they get from being the winner..hahahahaha

  • 1 decade ago

    Why not just send some flowers, or have a friend or your mother or sister buy some flowers and take them to the shower on your behalf?

    If you are travelling internationally, you may like to pick up a little gift for the baby on the way - like mittens or a cap or even a model cow?

    baby can't help who his/her mum is, and the father is your bro.

    Source(s): keep the peace, baby
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If I was your brother I would ask you not to get a gift, I think your attitude stinks - what about family - a new niece or nephew - are you not going to love this baby because you don't like the mother?

    You have to grow up and make the best of your relationship with her - she is part of your family now and so will that little baby be.

    What right do you have to say that your brother married the wrong person?

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your brother picked the right person for him....you are the one who seems to have a problem with her. Why bother even sending an insincere gift? In all likelihood his wife knows you don't like her so why buy something just out of etiquette when it won't really mean anything and you are just doing it because you feel you have to.

  • 1 decade ago

    As an aunt your gift should be more thoughtful. Forget the wife, this is your blood brother and that alone should be respected. I'm not saying you have to spend thousands of dollars, but your gift should stand out from others.

  • 1 decade ago

    You should not penalize your brother for picking a woman you don't like.

    Honestly this is a gift for your future niece/nephew. Get something for the baby like toy or a big stuffed animal.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I can relate. I am not fond of my brother's wife.

    If they registered for the baby shower just buy something off their list. If not get something that would be useful. A case of diapers,onesies etc.

    If you value your relationship with your brother then put your feelings about her aside. He is the woman he chose. even if it was a bad choice.

  • ET
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Oh my, this is oh so familiar to me.

    Just don't take it out on the baby, it's not their fault.

    Take the brain work out of it, are they not registered somewhere?

    Honestly, since you are not going to be at the shower and don't have to face them the day of buy a gift certificate and enjoy your vacation.

    :-)

  • sunny
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    My goodness aren't we full of our self? I don't think he picked the wrong wife but he sure picked the wrong sister. Your so judgemental. Are you married? I bet not. Just a hunch. Cows are your signature? Why would you buy something that means something to you and not to them. I am sure she must be registered at one of the baby stores. so look it up and buy something they want and need. And I thought I had the most horrible sister of all.

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