How can we handle this situation RE: his ex-wife/kids/clothing?

Not much you can do. Luckily summer is almost over.

But what I would suggest is from now on is when they come over, let them change clothes and wash their others. Then when you send them home, send them home in the clothes they came with (clean) and keep the ones you bought. That way there is not much can go wrong with the clothes.

I understand if your trying to spare them the discomfort, but if you don't want to lose the clothes, that is all you can do.

By cutting the good clothes up is just going to start a fight and those things are better avoided in this instances.

The ex thinks she is punishing you ,but all she really is doing is punishing her kids .If you cant get help with this from any of the courts this is what I would do ,I would send the kids back in the same clothes they came in washed and clean of course and as far as having clothes to wear while their with you I would visit some garage sales or goodwill stores and find some things there for them to wear ,Don't go spend alot of money on new clothes she's just going to continue this practice.I know its going to break your heart to send them back the way they came but it also might send her a message on how childish she is being .One day she she will realize how stupid this is hopefully ,even if she don't the kids will remember what she did to them them and If you don't see some change now in the earlier years of the children's life's you cant bet your last dollar as they get older you will .As for your husband cutting off the pants I would say yes do it ,but then I wonder if they have any winter clothes ? and would this temp the ex to do something else ? makes you wonder why some people have kids .I would say just be cool about what ever she do'es but keep a record of ever thing that happens and let the courts know ,something more has to be going on or she wouldn't of lost them in the first place keep your eyes wide open and don't put down anyone involved in front of the children at this age they tend to repeat everything that is heard .I wish you the best.

I'm sorry for you! She is being very trivial. We go through a similar situation with my husband's ex - she sends them only in the clothes they are wearing, but at least it's weather-appropriate! We usually just wash them, and let them wear the same thing back home. If I were you, I would take the kids to Goodwill, local garage sale or thrift store and buy some very cheap summer clothes. You could also put out a request for summer clothes on Freecycle.com. When she sends them in sweats, keep them for your use during the winter, and send them home in the hand-me-downs. When she gripes about it, tell her you'll gladly give her the winter clothes back, once she has returned the clothes you have purchased for the kids. I would also inform her that if she cannot dress her children appropriately, you will have no choice but to report her neglect to CPS. Hopefully she will come to her senses and realize she is only hurting the kids by acting this way!

Your husband is a genius! Next time she sends them in long sleeves and pants in the summer, cut the sleeves off and make the pants into shorts and send the kids back to her in the "new" outfits. You may need to do this a couple of times, but I am sure she will get the hint.

BTW.. there is nothing wrong with going to the second hand story for clothes to send them back home in and keep the newer stuff at your place.

I agree with those above- send them back in the clothes they come in. That's what we do with my boyfriends kids because it always seems to keep arguments from happening.

Sometimes they come to our house with no shoes in the middle of the winter and odd clothing for the season like you mentioned. Once, she came to pick her daughter up early for a party and said something about the clothes being raggy and ungly and I said "well thats what you sent." (she was taking her home before the party anyway- otherwise we would have dressed her differently)

I know it puts the kids in a rough spot but clothes are expensive and she would send them back to us in clothes three sizes too small (like a 5 year old in a 2T). It has really helped and then you don't get caught in the game of not bringing her clothes for the kids back- which is a whole other arguemnt.

Dont keep sending the kids home in the clothes you got for them.

Send them in the ones they came in.....

They can of course wear the ones you bought for them, while they are staying with you, but if she won't let the kids wear them, you would be wasting money.

They will be ok, for the journey back to their moms.

But, your husband had a good idea, cutting the pants into shorts..lol

I'm so sorry. My ex lost one of a pair of orthopedic shoes ($80 per pair 20 years ago) and he NEVER paid. I really feel for you. Call the Attorney Generals Office, Child Support Division (or whoever the authority is in your state) and ask for advice. Call the police and ask if they will stan d by while your husband gathers the kids belongings. Keep METICULOUS records of all these issues. Send the kids over in their underwear. I actually had to resort to that because I couldn't buy them over and over. Write a list of what you send, keep a copy and hand her the list, "Here's a checkoff list so it'll be easier for you to gather everything Sunday (or whatever)."

Sounds like she has a pretty good game going! Talk about a sneaky little scavenger! I say send them home in the winter clothes, they'll be in A/C until they get home anyways, but I do like the idea of cutting the jeans into shorts.... sounds like something I would think of!

if you still have the receipts i would threaten that u were going to talk with ur lawyer over it and maybe it will scare her and she will bring them back...my mom went through the same thing and she sent home a list of everything that she had paid for and said it needed to be returned asap...my step-brothers mom did the next weekend....i know that its hard bc u dnt want ur children to suffer but she needs to grow up...if she can be reasonable then the children should be able to take clothes back and forth. but if not then u have to look out for whats best for ur family...which includes them but not her!

this is going to be a pain in the butt, but take her back to court to amend the custody/visitation agreement. ask the judge to specifically order that the children be properly equipped for weekend visits with clothing, and if she cannot/will not, thats grounds for her to lose the priveledge of having the children with her.