Is there any way to get my wife to stop resenting me?

Well, Bob, unfair as it may seem, I think the ball is in your court.

You need to start calling her on her behaviors. There's a root to this problem, and if you want a little respect sometime before you boot, you're going to have to rip it out, nicely.

So, when she shoots you that look, say, "Hon, I'm getting the feeling there is something you are unhappy about....wanna tell me what it is?" If she says it's nothing then say,

"Then let's see you smile, for goodness sakes. "

Now, ...this active social life where she gets to belittle and disrespect you behind your back....uhm, I'd highly recommend attending these events so that the persons listening to her tales have some actual input on your part.

Also, since she can't ever say that she is wrong then you need to gently start reminding her yourself. A simple, "Hon, that is wrong." will do.

You know you are going to get backlash and rebuttal. Ignore it. You sound like you deserve a loving, appreciative, respectful wife. So let her rant, or shoot that look, laugh, and say, "Hon, you are still wrong."

Perhaps you should watch "Taming of the Shrew" one more time. Mimic his approach, consistent, sure, and never upset. Kind of kick back, start addressing her issues, and take a wait and see, laziz faire approach.

After all, you have little lose, since you are already unfortunately insignificant in her eyes.

Which leads me to a more serious postulation. When attending her social events, keep an eye out for the mornful lover, and if she becomes resentful of your presence. Be attentive, complimentary and put your arm around her every now and again. (Think, James Bond)

Don't let her convince you that you shouldn't attend. Au contrair, mon ami, you need to go.

And if you really want to play her, make it un-subtly clear that you expect a good time when you get home, lol.

Try not to take this process too seriously, do it with an attitude that you will succeed, you know her better than anyone in the world. Play that hand.

I wish you luck,

and God bless you and yours.

This is a clear case of her having a low self esteem issue. The only way to make herself feel better is to make you feel bad. What a B I T C H. I would appreciate you so so much. I have a husband who doesn't appreciate a thing I do, I work full time, he's been out of work for almost a year, I do every thing still, cook, clean, laundry, every thing, he washes a few dishes and empties the garbage and calls it a day. I have to ask him for money for bills, I'm in good shape, attractive and get so much attention from well to do guys, he smokes (you know what, which I hate), he is useless. And here you are making a great living, providing for your wife, being respectful of her feelings, giving her what she wants and your treated like that! I know it's hard after 27 years of marriage, but my god... you need to give her some tuff love and maybe show what life would be like without you. Maybe a little separation, where you could collect your thoughts and feel good about yourself for a change. She doesn't resent you, she resents the fact that you are a better person than her, despite being into her church. If you ask me, that's being a hypocrite, oh.. here I am this good person who goes to worship god, yet, I treat the person I should be respecting the most like crap? I don't' think so.

You both really need to get into marriage counseling. I dont' know what ,but something is really bothering her! And when a woman is going thru menopause ..any unresolved emotional stress can exacerbate a perimenopausal hormone imbalance. Has she seen her gynecologist? That she really needs to do. They have a great book out by Christiane Northrup..it's called "The Wisdom of Menopause". It would be really good for her and you to read. As far as the religion thing, nothing wrong with teaching your children about God. For you..if you know anything about the bible..then it must be very disappointing for you to see this lady that you love demean you in front of church people. These church people should not have looked at you in any bad way. A true christian would not have done that.Even her pastor should have offered some kind of counseling to you both. It's sad to say that alot of people have come to resent churches and so called christians due to the fact that a lot of them don't practice what they preach. How sad! You say she has a very active social life.. do you participate with her? Do you do things together? You know if she won't go to counseling ..then you should go without her. She might get mad at first..but, I bet her curosity will get the best of her and she will want to know what is going on.. tell her .if she wants to know .then show up for the next session. Hang in there .

My Wife Resents Me

I really don't believe that her resentments are towards you, but more towards herself, and what better person to lash out on then her sweet devoted hubby, as you are the one who is always their, who she might feel has the upper hand on, and who will put up with her crap. Coming from personal experience only, and as a woman, I can assure you that she wont change anytime soon, and if she does change it will take quite a while, as I'm guessing that she has been at this game of pointing the finger at you and taking all her anger and resentments out on you for a while now, and eventually their comes a point and time when enough is enough! You can talk to her, good luck at that, she may be in complete denial and see' nothing out of the ordinary with the way she treats you, this is why it is so important for you to seek outside help, be it a therapist, marriage counselor etc, just anyone other then you, you alone cant fix her, she needs to hear it and see it from a 3rd party. Good Luck

She wants YOU not things. Sometimes we have to make a few waves to change the boring way we approach things. Maybe she needs a little more from you than giving. When she tells lies about you to others, make her prove it or tell her that you would appreciate her honesty about why she wants to lie about you. I know what you mean by "the bad guy" I have been there and done that. I finally decided that I am bored with being a peace maker and trying to make sure everyone else looks good at my expense. What you need to do is take up for yourself. Give her a budget to work with and if she needs more money, she can get a job, and playing games should be fun not for someone getting mad. Don't lose on purpose, your babying her. Its time to make your sweetie think about how lucky she is and stop the negative responses. Give her something to think about other than going shopping.

if ur wife is a christian women then i am pretty sure she knows that she is completely wrong. first mistake never talk down to ur husband to anyone. mistake number 2. regardless if u share her Christians values or not she is still suppose to respect u at all times. mistake number 3. she has to forgive those people she feels who has wronged her.not trying to bag ger ur wife just given u examples of a true christian. it sounds to me that u need to stand up and take control over ur family and stop being a door mat and let her walk all over u. set the Record straight and stop letting her lie on u. be the man u say u are. find out why she resents u so much it has to be a reason. u have some responsibility in this as well. and that is u are a push over. grow some balls man and get ur happiness back in ur marriage......Good Luck

Sorry, but why did you marry her in the first place?

It sounds like she is sick of herself. She is reliant on her husband for income and well-being. It seemed like a sweet deal for a time, but perhaps now she insecure and feeling low because, well, we all NEED to work. Not just for money, but for mental and social stimulation. She might feel resentful for relying on you, and rather than solve the problem and taking steps, she is taking it out on you.

If she's fundamentalist Christian (and you're not? Again, confused), go to her pastor with her and have an intervention, it might humour her, and chances are he may take you side. She needs to hear someone else give her a bit of a wakeup call.

Good luck.

speak with a pastor at her church and seek marriage counsiling this lady has got some serious issues that need to be worked out. when you do go to counciling and dig deep into whats really making her act this way im sure you will be shocked to findo ut it's something that happened years ago and something soooo miniscule that oyu dont even remember saying that or doing the action.

i know i resented my fiance for a few years i blamed him for the fact that i had to have a c-section with my first child an di blamed him for taking away the one dream tha ti had left and could actually do. after a few years of resentment he and i sat down and tlaked and i told him my reasoning for the resentment and he didnt even know that it hurt me so much and now im over the resentment lol

My mom is Christian and dad is agnostic, they respect each others beliefs and it sounds like you do to her, but she is being haughty and selfish. A good Christian should not blame other people as it is mental abuse and lack of humility.

It sounds like she is the "poor me" type of person. She uses this method as a way to gain attention and may not even realize she is doing it! It is time to step up and act like a man. She has stripped you down and taken away your self esteem. She probably has a low self esteem too and a nasty temper to boot.

You could get mad at her for something and show her who is boss. Then she will know you are not the same pushover. Even if you cannot get up the nerve to argue, I would still suggest going to her Church with her and have the priest/pastor give advice - she will listen to him. If she starts disobeying the priest/pastor you can then always say, "well it looks like I am going to need to talk to (name) again..." She will see this as a threat, but if she continues, go to the pastor/priest without her. He will probably either call her or have a conversation with her the next time she is in Church. She will know you are not bluffing and that things are now serious (as you are out of character).

You can tell her that her actions are not the way Jesus wants her to act, even though it is a "worldly marriage." She may retaliate and ask what you know about Jesus and the Bible. Thus, pick up her Bible and read the following passages out to her:

1 Peter 3:1

"In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,"

Ephesians 4:31-32

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Good luck!