Adoptees as a child, around the holidays did you spend more time wondering about your other family?

actually, someone was talking about the holidays on the adult adoptees website. i couldn't bring myself to even read it.

i detest holidays. have since i was little. all i ever wanted was my mother.

As a child? No. Never. (Really.)

You see, I had it drilled into me that I was Special and Chosen and Wanted, etc. It isn't that I DIDN'T think I was loved - but that I wondered if they had chosen me, then what was so "bad" about me that my mother STILL gave me up?

I know this doesn't answer your question as much, but recently, ever since I started reunion, I think about them all that time at holidays and wonder if they even celebrate the same holidays as me.

Mom: What do you want for Christmas?

Me: (What I wanted to say) A magic wand that would allow me to become fluent or just SEE my family on Skype or something.

Me: (What I said) Hmmm... maybe some games for my Xbox or those computer games I've been playing.

I am adopted and I have 2 adopted children. I can speak for myself, I never thought about what "my other family was doing". Before I a lot of thumbs down, which will not surprise me here- THIS IS ME!! That does not mean I am not grateful for my birth mom, and I also know the sacrifice she paid to give me life, and place me for adoption. Our 19 year old son has met his birth mom, and has a good relationship with her- however as he was growing up here, it was our family that we celebrated at holidays. Same with my daughter, who is 16. I know that our 3 birth moms thought/think of us often- how could they not?

I can say I have never thought about what my biological “family” does during the holidays. Honestly to me it doesn’t matter what they do I don’t consider them my family. I enjoy my family and hopefully they enjoy theirs during the holiday season.

i think holidays were really one of the only times i thought about my bio family growing up. It was usually along the lines of"i wonder what they are doing" or "i hope they are doing ok" that sort of thing.

I did wonder if they missed me.

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There was always a certain sadness, and wondering if "they" were thinking of me and wondering about me, yeah.

Birthdays were the worst, followed by Christmas.

I don't. I'm preoccupied with my own kids and family. Only on my birthday.