When did the LDS church stop caring about the importance of family?

I read this a couple times, I have come to two conclusions.

1. You do not understand the financial system of the LDS church.

2. I would have made the same call and rejected your request.

First of all, it is your father that pays HIS tithing faithfully. NOT YOU.

Secondly it is not the responsibility of the church to pay your way when you have walked away from the church of your own accord.

Most importantly though, is the financial system of the church. It does not permit a bishop to fork over money just like that. Food, Rent, and Bills require needs analysis forms and so forth and even they take time to be approved.

To put it simply, you are holding the LDS church responsible for stress that you have brought on yourself because of your chosen lifestyle, because of your lifes choices.

I think you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

Your father chooses to pay his tithing, and if he is devout in his chosen religion (LDS), then he has his reasons why. You should honor that and stop resenting his faith and his choice - As your father he has probably earned the right to make his own choices about both his money and his religion.

If the Bishops said that they were not in a position to help - they probably really were not in a position to help. They can use fast offerings donated by ward members to help with this type of thing. As one who works in community assistance, I can say that we get the most help from the LDS church than any other entity besides the fed and the state, to help take care of those people in the community that need food, shelter, furnace repairs, roof repairs, etc. etc. etc. They give always, and without expectations from these people - both members and non-members. With the way the economy has been going, and the way life is getting harder for more and more people everywhere, I don't doubt for a second that they might have been currently 'tapped out' and completely unable to help.

The LDS do and have always cared about the family. While I am sorry for your situation, I too - (because of the economy and my own family needs) am not in a position to help. I also don't have two pennies to rub together. There are other sources to look into than just the LDS church. What is your religious affiliation or that of your siblings? Perhaps they could help. Try local Community Assistance Programs, or relatives, or friends. Sell something. Borrow some. Having been there done that, with parents, I know there are other ways.

Good luck and I truly am sorry for your situation.

as many have said before- I am sorry for your loss. I can understand how frustrating that would be. There are many variables that could have been the reason for this outcome, and without all the details, it's hard to speculate. It could have been the amount you were asking for was too much. It could have been that there wasn't enough time to get the money together in the amount you were asking for. Maybe you were asking for flight money, when you could have driven and gas money would have been much more feasible...etc. and it could very easily be that the ward just did not have the funds. as many mentioned before. to use money outside of what the ward itself has donated for the purpose would require time, time that you didn't have, to go through the appropriate channels to get more. If your parents don't live in a very affluent ward, this could mean that the fund is not very big and was already being taken up by needy members that attended the ward. That money goes to help people get their necessities in life, and if the bishop was in a position that he had to choose to have the money go to a family so that they could eat or have electricity, vs. paying for some plane tickets-it's a hard decision but necessities come first. especially when you consider the cost difference. for what one plane ticket costs, you could feed a whole family for 2 weeks and a modest electricity bill. There are also A LOT of people out there that use the church to deal with their problems. someone will get baptized, never come to church, participate, pay tithing or even take phone calls, but will request welfare every month and will suddenly be the bishops best friend as soon as they need something. my father in law was a stake president, and one lady in particular would call all the time about everything. she wanted money for bus fare, gas, food, bills- basically she wanted to live for free, not work and have the church take care of everything. so there are plenty of people out there that abuse the generosity of the church and unfortunately bishops have the job of telling people no and regulating the money. In your situation, the ward might have been able to get together funds through salt lake, or asking members if they wanted to help- but there probably wasn't enough time to get that together for you.

also your brothers church was probably in a better position to release funds seeing as how the pastor would be in charge of ALL of the funds and would not have had to take a few days to allocate money that were outside of the allowance given.

again sorry for your loss, but I am happy that you were able to go see your father. Your brothers church was very kind to do that for you.

I'm sorry your family had to go through this. But Bishops have rules to follow in administering welfare money. Welfare money is only used to meet the most basic needs of a family...bills, groceries, etc. Even before money or assistance is given you have to ask all family for help first.

There are many people with needs in this church. Especially now with the bad economy. I'm sure that if those bishops had the spare funds they would have sent at least one of you.

I am sorry about your loss. The church cares very much about families, however, they do not usually pay for the plane tickets for family members, even if it is a dying mans last request. Tithing money is used for building new buildings, maintaining old ones, temples. Usually the Fast offering Funds are for helping people with their bills and things when they can't. My best guess is that the Bishop's that refused help was because their ward's fast offering budget couldn't handle the financial commitment necessary for the flight to Seattle, while the Bishop that helped probably had the means to be able to help.

I am personally sorry to hear about your father's illness. As one who has recently had parents pass on, I believe I can understand your frustrations. My parents lived in Arizona and I live in the Midwest.

It would be unfair of anyone in this forum to try and second guess what transpired between your family members and the bishops you mentioned contacting. I'm glad that you were able to receive assistance from your brother's church to make the trip.

You didn't mention about contacting your own church for assistance. It only seems just that you would ask of the church that you attend to assist you. It would be impossible for the LDS Church to accommodate every request that is put to them for financial assistance. I know that doesn't give you any solace, but it is a fact.

May God bless and comfort you and your family during this time of grief and sorrow.

EDIT: I have sent you an e-mail

The Bishops have resources at their disposal that specifically come from fast offerings (not tithes). These funds are given by members to assist the welfare of the needy. There are guidelines about how this money maybe used. If your father needed help to pay the rent, provide food or clothing, it would have been available. I understand your grief. I know it will be hard to accept it, but the Bishops do have to keep the fiduciary trust they have been given and say no more than they would like. I have seen the other side of the coin, and know that families are being helped every day.

Without sounding too harsh - what makes your situation any more dire than someone else's? Many people out there need help, and the church suggests ALWAYS to seek every option for help and come to the church last. And maybe they were your last option. Could you have sold something, gotten a small loan, used a credit card?

Maybe those Bishop's DID really care, but couldn't get you the money you desired. Think about it from their point of view... could you imagine the church just shoveling out money to anyone who asked for it - no matter their situation? I mean, come on, you need to be kind of reasonable here... Family IS #1 to the church. BUT, that doesn't mean everyone will always get every earthly thing they ever want... yes, it's sad you didn't get the help you first desired. But, the gospel is still true, and life will go on.

I'm sorry for your loss. But I'm not going to judge those Bishops; the allocation of welfare funds is complicated, and some congregations just don't have enough money to give to everyone that asks.

A close friend of mine was driving from California back to Chicago and when they were passing through New Mexico, his wife got real sick and they had to take her to the hospital. They had to spend several days in a city where they knew no one. My friend contacted the local LDS congregation and they took great care of my friend and his family, people they didn't even know. They fed them for every meal, brought toys for the kids, and gave them a place to stay. Yes, LDS still care about families.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I've lost loved ones too and not been able to be there with them in their final days. It's hard.

As a member I can say Tithing is about faith and it was your Fathers choice to pay it -His wishes-Because he believed it will give him and his family blessings. Where was his family when he was sick? I can assure you he had visitors from the church by his side throughout his sickness. Even though they couldn't help out financially --They were there for him spiritually.