People past 50--how do you stop wishing for love?

...I found the man I longed for,right here on Answers,after two failed marriages...I'm 54,5'11"...so forget all the nonsense about height...when love is supposed to come,it comes,you simply must be able to recognize it....

For some reason, birthdays tends to make people look at what they HAVEN't done, accomplished or acquired. Why is that? Why don't they see all the wonderful things they DO have or have done AND the exciting possibilities that lay ahead? The "Big _0" birthdays are the worst.

After a couple of life threatening illnesses, I now love my birthdays because "I made it another year". Many people don't (just look at the newspaper any day of the week). I look back at only the fun and good times and make plans for more. The other stuff is there too but so what! Lesson learned - move on. I can't spend time fostering regrets and wishing for things that never were because I have come to realize that none of us are promised a tomorrow. If I'm lucky enough to have one, I'm going to do something worthwhile with it and enjoy it.

Bottom line - 50 is a great age! Do yourself a favor and start celebrating all the good in your life. When regrets take hold, say "So what!", put on some music that makes you smile and bop your head and paint a picture! (I like Feeling Groovy. heehee)

There's no need to give up on love - Just don't make it the end all and be all of your life. Don't feed the monster that is Envy by focusing on it. Let the beast die! That includes reasons why "most men blah, blah, blah! Love your hieght (I'm 5'11"), love the person you are and are yet to be and you'll not only be happier but will be more attractive to everyone around you.

Open yourself up to whatever great things the universe wants to send your way. Draw people into your exciting world and make them feel special. You'll have such a warm circle of friends that you won't have time, or the interest to think about what you may not have.

So, climb out of your bog, put on some heels, and celebrate all the wonderful things in your life.

Be well, my friend!

Yep turning 50 can trigger all sort of feelings that were under neath. Of course you could feel that you are a failure so you can't have a loving relationship. Well, never feel that way. Do you go where single men are ?If so , do you go looking for a mate? ( like you are anixous? ) If so then it will show and scare off anyone. Never act as though you're looking for a mate. Act like you're there to meet new friends and don't ever show a weakness. O.K.It's always worked for me aned then you can pick and choose. But, I'm to the point that I don't trust too many men so I stay away from all of them. If it's meant to be then soeday I will meet Mr. Right. After 2 rotten attempts I gave up. There aren't too many decent ones left or else they're carrying around more baggage than is stuffed in the belly of a plane. LOL Once and awhile I wish I had a freind just to take me out to dinner or a show-------with no strings attached.They're hard to find also. Good luck Bye the way i'm almost 66.

Well, my dear, start noticing people who no longer appear to be wishing for love, if you can indeed find any, and decide if you really want to join their ranks. You may learn something about that lady in the mirror. You might just come to the conclusion that you are normal. If you are " pretty happy, busy and enjoying your solitude" you have three things going for you and that ain't all bad. Just don't hide your happiness and involvement under a basket. Share it with everyone that you can. Your interest in YA is a pretty good indication that you are not quite ready to become a recluse. Just be yourself and enjoy life and help other people enjoy theirs and you will do fine. You might find some one out there that will give you a real run for your money. Don't bow out too early. The best could still be in the future. Give it a chance before you try and douse the fire.. Where there is smoke there is often fire.

Well, I can see how everyone wants to help you find love, it's horrible to not have experienced it by now. I feel love a lot from my online friends. There are all levels of love. 50 is a hard age, I'm past that and have felt a lot of insecurities in the past several years. I have had loving relationships and have been married for 30 years, love and sex are two different things in a relationship. I'm not going any farther into that, if you want to chat feel free to pop in on my IM.

I think you just have to find a lot of things that interest you and jump into them with both feet, totally engrossed and enjoy what you have. It's impossible to not be sad about it, so you cry one day and then go on to the next day. Find some online friends to chat with about it, there are some that do understand what you are talking about.

I think I know what your talking about.

Maybe because you have reached a milestone in your life you think maybe all chances are gone for love. Could you be a little depressed? Your height should not be an obstacle, My 2nd cousin married a wonderful man who stands 5' 11" and she is almost a foot taller. This is her 3rd marriage and all her husbands were shorter than she was. You are still young at 50. Look at all the years ahead of you should you live to be 80. My cousin is 82 and her hubby is somewhere in his 80's too. for goodness sake, never give up hope. Poppy

Am I being dense?

What has the age thing got to do with wanted to feel loved?

And 50?

I am 52 and without love my life would be pretty dismal - and I am like you - level-headed and logical (on a good day!).

I would say to you what I would say to a 16, 21 or 49 year old ..... love is not going to come knocking on your door ...... but it is so worth trying to put up a few sign posts to let it know where you hang out!

There are good folk out there - possibly just like you - thinking that they are OK, but knowing they could be better. Make someone else happy as well as yourself ..... start opening the windows of opportunity and you never know what the breeze might blow in!

Happiness always friend.

DON'T STOP IT!!! Love, companionship, sharing are all human needs and you are human. I'm a widow of 63 (a very young 63 year old, I might add) and 4 years after my husband's death I went on some of the online dating sites. I found a lot of unacceptable folks, but over the past 18 months have found a couple whom I dated (still seeing one of them) and enjoyed very much. During that period, I learned a lot - how to date (giggle), more about myself and what I do want, what I don't want and what is negotiable (always need to give in sometimes). Then after I became more comfortable with myself and dating, I let my friends know I was ready to begin for real. Right now, I am seeing 2 fellas - completely different personalities but absolute joys. I let it be known that I am not husband hunting and that I am self sufficient. So the fellas know that I am not out to empty their pockets or depend on them totally for my happiness ---- it has worked for me.

Your question is not corny, but very real. It has to do with the heart and those human needs. I say get out there, explore all your possibilities and open another dimension of your life. You will find a lot of losers probably, but have fun doing it.

Just don't stop the feeling --- When you stop feeling you are dead!

I know how you feel. Once in a while it hurts when I see my friends with their spouses of many years. I try really hard not to live in the past. I made two bad choices and paid dearly for them. But what's done is done. Yes it hurts that I never had a really loving relationship but it does no good to think about it at this stage of my life. You are still young at 50 and you never know..he might be around the corner. My best to you. =)

I think that we do sort of take stock of our lives when a new birthday like 50 or 60 rolls around and go over what we have accomplished in our lives and what we would like to have done. There is nothing wrong with regretting that you haven't had a truly romantic relationship, but many of those don't last. If you have peace of mind and a fairly happy life, many people who have had romantic relationships, would be willing to trade them for what you have now. Enjoy your life, but don't give up looking for ways to improve it.

What helps me is seeing unhappily married couples eating or site-seeing together, and they're easy to spot. Also the latest statistics on single adult households in America. Also something Katharine Hepburn said, paraphrasing, that as she aged, she was beginning to think men and women should just live next door to each other, and visit. Also, remembering all the negatives about living with somebody. It seems to be true, what I thought in youth, that true love is rare. I relish in the peace at home, the maintenance of it to my taste, my freedom of choosing my own hours and meals, and my uninterrupted blocks of time to do my work. To stop being sad, I take heart in how many are also running their own show.