Is there such a thing as teaching "too much" cultural diversity?

Someone answered that most bio-families don't take the time to teach their children their culture.

I disagree - they teach their culture simply by replaying traditions that were passed down from parents, grandparents, extended family. Recipes are shared (often from the "old country"), holiday celebrations are repeated for generations, religious traditions are taught to the children. This is a very natural process in a bio-household - there is no need to make special efforts at sharing culture, it just happens.

This is another area where bio- and adoptive families are simply different. Adoptive families have to make special efforts to maintain their children's connection to their heritage. And this can backfire if it comes across as patronizing or phony.

A question similar to this actually came up at one of our foster parent classes a couple of months ago. We had a pretty good mix of races and cultures at the class. There were a few Asians, some First Nations, Caucasians, one Hindu (individual) and one Muslim couple.

Other then the obvious religious holidays that people observed (Christmas, Diwali, Hanukka...) there was nobody who really "celebrated" anything else. They may have taken advantage of a free day off if it came with a particular day but that was about it.

One of the kitchen volunteers who came in to make lunch for the class was African Canadian and we asked her during the break about Kwanzaa. She said that she didn't see the point and that she knew of only one family that observed it and that most of her friends "didn't see the point".

Perhaps it's just a difference between the countries but as a group we don't seem to observe too many other holidays over and above the "standard" ones. As a family, since my oldest is East Indian, we tend to observe Diwali but it works out well since the lights just stay up a bit longer and it's Christmas. My daughters friends think it's "neat" but my daughter can actually take it or leave it. She's been in Canada since she was 3 and had been living with us in a "Canadian community" since she was 8 months old.

I am african american and do not do any kwanzaa celebration. Personally i don't want to and i am not interested.

I am also part Puerto Rican and i make an effort to celebrate Puerto Rican holidays and traditions with my family because that is what i grew up with and that is what is important to me. Some of the days and traditions i had thrown to the wayside till I had kids now i am diligent in doing them.

Now with a pending adoption of our foster son on the horizon who is obviously African American but i don't know if there is any mixture because i have no family history i find myself torn. Puerto Rican things are not his heritage and we will continue to celebrate them because they are mine but he will be par taking in a false identity per say. Then again my wife who is AA par takes and has no issues but she is grown and made this choice to celerbarte these days with me. He will have no choice. We don't celerbrate Same for Juneteenth, Ancestor Honor Day either neither does any of her family my AA family or anyone we know. So if we start it will be odd and contrived and seem like we are forcing something. I guess if we were white it would be nothing. You just assume all AA do this and move on. If we adopted IA we would reasearch holidays food etc from their home and just do it suspecting they would do this in their home country but we have no idea.

I am babbling but i understand what you are saying and hope you get my point

Raising a bilingual/bicultural child I am of the bending-over-backwards school.

My English-speaking western culture is in the minority where we live so if I don`t make the effort my child will be missing half of her heritage. Today we went to an English speaking after-school group and I am organising a Christmas party and carol singing in English for Christmas Eve (I will also be cooking a full traditional Christmas dinner for my family). I also celebrate all my husband`s Japanese festivals.

It can be a real hassle. Not as soon as we have dragged out all the dolls for Girls day and put them away after the celebration dinner than I am organising everything for Easter......and so on........

It is worth it though....I really want my daughter to have a sense of who she is and the festivals are the easiest and most fun way for her to access that. She is also in touch with a number of friends her own age who share the same culture(s)...so she has more of a feeling of fitting in.

My Japanese MIL doesn`t make as much of an effort as me (though she does put on a great traditional New Year Lunch for us)....in a monocultural environment I guess she doesn`t feel the need to make as much effort. I think I also make more of an effort than my parents made.

As a mother of a child who won`t necessarily fit in to either of her cultures I suppose I want to make sure her sense of identity and belonging is firmly rooted. If making a lot of effort now can save her even a little bit of torment later then it`s worth it.

edit.....I have to admit that I even celebrate holidays that are not even Australian......I organised trick and treating in my neighbourhood (which we never do in Australia) and celebrated Thanksgiving (unheard of in Australia) with a friend.

Maybe I am taking it too far? lol

I don't think you can teach about it too much, because I feel like the more people know about and understand other cultures, the less intolerant people will be. I do wish my parents had taught me a little more about my own culture, but I do know that I hated that I was different when I was a kid and would have felt very alienated by too much immersion in my culture because that was what made me different from them. So I think there is a fine line you have to walk with this as so many other things.

Hi Freckle Face.

I am raising an AA toddler through foster care. As a Caucasian, I don't know much about Kwanzaa or other specifically AA holidays/celebrations.

I may say something not so popular, but I don't believe celebrating specific AA holidays is all that important. What IS important is teaching your child about his background and culture. Instead of celebrating 'Ancestor Honor Day' or "MLK Day," we should focus on celebrating his culture, his ancestors, and MANY wonderful leaders who were like him in racial makeup EVERYDAY. I don't know why, but it has always bothered me that we have a "Black History Month" and a "MLK day". Why isn't every day a day for celebrating and learning about Black History and MLK??? We will try our hardest to incorporate people and places and celebrations and history into each day.....so that it becomes a way of life....so that it actually means something more than just 'a day'. During MLK day, MANY people are asked to go and serve within their community. Why aren't they asked to do this every day? MLK didn't give his heart and soul and, ultimately his life, so that we could celebrate him on one specific day. I would say that his message and teaching wasn't about him at all.....but about ALL people on ALL days. So, we will teach our child that service matters every day. I think that children often don't want to be seen as different or don't want to be 'burdened' with celebrating customs that are no longer familiar to them. That's ok.....but learning about those customs is a good thing. Learning about why they were done and what it meant for the community/people is a good thing. Understanding where you came from and what makes up 'you' is a process that doesn't end at childhood. Instead of making it a history lesson or a ritual that is performed each year, I think the objective should be to make it so natural and normal that it doesn't seem like a chore. I have MANY stories and breif biographies about black people stored in my head. When we go to town, I can talk about the man who used to run the hardware store and how he had a slave named Amos who actually saved a little girl from drowning, but was still returned to his master and his master was the one who was praised for being such a great teacher/mentor to Amos. Or, when we go past the old saloon....I point out the 2 front doors that are still there....and how it used to be that women weren't allowed to enter that place at all.....and that the two doors were doors for white people and black people....so that the white people didn't have to enter or sit with the black people. They would alll literally sit at the same bar with the same bartender, but a petition blocked the black side....so that the white patrons weren't 'offended' by seeing a black person in 'their' bar.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are MANY ways to involve children in their heritage....you just have to try them out and see what works best with your child. The more interesting and relatable it is, the more they will enjoy the lesson.

This is one of the those subjects, I think, that can't be placed upon any child or family. It all comes down to how that child handles all the cultural diversity.

I've seen some who live it with ease, but that's because that's their personality. Where as others, have faced some hard identity issues, because that too attributes to their personality. I myself for example have always tried to associate myself with one thing. There's no gray area with me; and that's something I've had to overcome.

If your asking if it might be wrong to mix and mingle religions, holidays, or cultures I say of course not!

But I think the parents raising the child should base that decision on the self-value or personality of the child. If that's at all possible.

Dear Freckle Face,

I think that whenever you adopt a child of a different race/culture you have an obligation to incorporate their culture into your every day life. This way, they are exposed to it and can make the decision when they are on their own as to whether or not they want to continue these activities. If they are not exposed to it, how will they know if they want to celebrate or not.

It kinda reminds me of my Mom. When I was growing up, she did not have me baptized because she wanted me to choose my own religion (She was a hippie!:) ) But she did not expose me to any religion other than Catholic, so how could I make an informed choice when I was unfamiliar with anything else? KWIM??

ETA: Michelle, I can understand that sometimes Political correctness goes overboard. I think that EVERYONE should be allowed to express their beliefs without the fear of offending someone else.

My daughter is half Ukrainian and I'm not. Her dad isn't interested in his heritage at all but I'm doing my best to introduce it to my child. This year we will celebrate Ukrainian Christmas, never done that before. I've looked into Ukrainian bilingual schools even though she is only turning 3. I have her on the waiting list for a Shumka dance program and we recently started visiting seniors at a Ukrainian extended care facility. It isn't just adoptive parents who should be keeping their child's heritage alive, every parent should be.

While I encourage my school aged daughter to learn all she can about other cultures and their traditions, here in Canada I find that we are over accommodating. My daughter comes home with stuff for Kwanzaa, Diwali, Ramadan, Eid, Hanukkah etc...but we no longer have a Christmas concert at the school. We have a "Winter Celebration" concert. WTF? My daughter came home one day telling me about a little boy who brought a picture of an elephant with 6 arms in for show and tell, explaining that the elephant was his God. But my daughter can't speak of God, Heaven, Angels or God forbid SANTA.

For a while, we weren't allowed to call a Christmas Tree just that, it was a holiday tree. A couple of years ago, a Jewish Judge ordered that a Christmas tree be removed from the courthouse lobby as he found it offensive. So now we aren't supposed to put them up? Gimme a break. I enjoy learning of others cultures and traditions but not at the expense of losing mine.