Reasons Why Twilight Sucks?

1. Bella. About the most Mary-sue character I think anyone could have pulled off. I mean... "I'm oh so average, but seventeen guys have fallen in love with me on my first day of school". Her only "flaw" is that she is clumsy, but really, that just serves in making her more adorable and all the better for everyone to swoop in and save through all-too-convenient mishaps. Not to mention, people are saying she's a great role model? She is a teenage girl who wants to give up everything, her family and friends (whom she treats like scum), her life, for a boy whom she "loves" only because he's so freaking sparkly gorgeous (see #2). She has no dreams, turns down a great college to marry said disco ball and conceive demon spawn at age 18, right before she dies a horrific death after begging new husband to sleep with her for six thousand monotonous pages.

2. Edward. Somehow, he even surpasses Bella in the perfection department, which we are not permitted to forget...ever. I didn't know there were so many words for perfect, sexy, hawt and amazing and shiny and wonderful and amber. Dear. Lord. And to be honest, he's creepy. Even at age 16, if a boy watched me sleep, dismantled my car, declared his eternal love, and yanked me around and "overruled" my opinions in just about everything (cause he's perfect, so he always knows better)...I'd freak and probably call the police. This is stalking and abuse, children. Not love. Also... I realize his body is seventeen. However, he is 100 years old, and I don't get the impression that his mind stalled at 17. What about an "average" teenage girl could possibly interest him besides the fact that she smells like chocolate cake wrapped in bacon or something? Also... couldn't she just say she created some new race? This man is not a vampire! He has an urge to drink blood, which is surpressed. No fangs. No deadly allergy to sunlight. I can understand reinventing vampires... but taking away every single flaw they have while playing up the greatness makes for a very boring read (this bit of advice could have been applied to the characters, as well).

3. I'm all for kids reading. In fact, my teenage siblings are given gift cards for holidays that they don't receive til they read a book of their choosing and then describe it to me. I'm a huge reader, I read everything, from young adult novels to Stephen King to textbooks I stole from high school and keep from college. And I am about as against censorship as it gets. But I would have serious issues with my 12 year old sister reading these. The messages about their "love" is stalkerish and and disturbing. Not to mention the demon seed baby that Eddy boy EATS out of her after it breaks her back and kills her. I understand these are silly, poolside books, but the people who really think it's an epic love story, with beautiful prose (which is has, in SPADES) and perfect everything... really? The only action in anything takes place at the very end (p. 452 or so) and is wrapped up in all its predictable glory in about five pages.

And before the Twilight lackeys start freaking out on me... yes, I have read them all. And yes, a part of my tween self loved that someone as sexy as Edward could fall in love with me (because I'm sure we can all admit..It’s written from Bella's POV to make us feel like the star). But if you stop drooling long enough to really think about it, it's almost kind of laughable.

I'll admit it, apart from the creepy imprinting on the baby thing (which I found incredibly sexist, actually: "What if they refuse?" "Why would they do that?". End of discussion) I sort of liked Jacob. He had some depth, at least.

Anyway, excuse any typos and such.

Twilight Sucks

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Reasons Why Twilight Sucks?

Hello i am composing a list of reasons why twilight sucks. i have already thought of several reasons of my own just wondering other peoples thoughts

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You probably just violated half of the communtity guidelines just by posting this, but, man, I am so glad you did, that was entertaining (more entertaining than Jacob vs. Edward). Harry Potter rules.

twilight sucks because Jacob is not a were-wolf and Jacob is just a Normal wolf the wolf pack is puny weak sorry and could be tuck out by a 2 legged wolf pack the wolf pack of twilight is Normal wolves and they all look just like dogs is more of a dog than a wolf they even bark for crying out loud wolves do not bark only dogs do the wolves are harm-less to everyone but vampires and the wolves are NOT were-wolves REAL were-wolves are the ones from horror movies that stands on their 2 hine legs and is 2 footed with human like wolf paws for hands known to grip pick people up choke people throw people and slam people down on the ground and use their human like wolf hands to swipe people and scratch people like a tiger as well as bitting and chomping people and claws that can swipe like tigers and rip people apart has t the full beast wolf faces too and they kill everyone in sight and loses their memory and even KILLS their loved ones too and has the mind of a full beast and Jacob SUCKS and is just the Normal looking dog wolf a Normal wolf face and doesn't look anything monster and he looks more like a dog than a monster and THERE really just men in green clothes in a green room that's not even really Jacob and the Normal wolf a white dude in green clothes in a green room looking retarded rubbing bella silverbullet an amaerican were-wolf in London and bad moon now THERE THE REAL 2 footed were-wolves that's what a wolf is all about like those horror movies twilight always sucked as even TLC T-Boz hates this movie and calls is wack crap on twitter LOL but the real were-wolves are the man eating 2 legged kinds and the Normal wolves sucks in this movie all the dog wolves sucks the whole wolf pack SUCKS and there all DOGS NOT WOLVES and they use grizzly bear roars I made a video on youtube of me in my deluxe were-wolf costume as a full beast 2 legged were-wolf killing people and I have it down loaded on my ps3 now it makes my day every day and I turned into a 2 legged real scary all monster brown were-wolf it's called under the moon but it's on my cousin's channel only to see it and I bet'cha I can take out Jacob the Normal dog like wolf and me in my huge big powerfull horror movie 2 legged brown full beast no dog all monster like wolf dexluxe were-wolf costume I love all you haters of this crap TWILIGHT SUCKS

The romance. It makes no sense. Normal girl goes to school, gets a harem (for no reason), falls in love with a guy for no reason (same with the guy. The romance is just ridiculous

Just Horrible

It sucks cause it doesn't make any sense. It just doesn't. And it's stupid and weird. My opinion

Typical Prada generation oh we are soo beautiful bull crap from start to end!

The Top Ten Reasons why Twilight Sucks:

1. There's too much sickly sweet syrupy romance. And it's only skin deep. She likes him 'cuz he's hot. He likes her 'cuz she's...well, I'm not quite sure why he likes her actually... She smells good?

2. The word "beautiful" and all it's cousins (even the ones twice removed) are used a gazillion times when describing Edward.

3. Edward is a stalker and stupid Bella finds that romantic.

4. Bella is a friggin' pansy. Girl needs to grow a backbone and stop waitin' around for everybody else to come save her.

5. The story itself is totally over used and there's nothing original about it. Can you say cliche?

6. Stephenie Meyer, for some reason, likes to include EVERY little mundane detail of Bella's life. Honestly, I don't CARE that she ate a granola bar for breakfast or that it took her five minutes to make a sammich. Really, life will go on.

7. The vampires are "vegetarians."

8. The vampires are disco balls.

9. The werewolves don't even show up until the next book. (Which sucks even more than Twilight.)

10. The conflict, which lasts for a grand total of 70 pages (out of, like, 500), is resolved in time for Bella's prom! Happy super fun time!