Am I being a Scrooge?

AHh.. i think you have to look at things in a different light .she is obviously hurting.. She had the opportunity to go somewhere else and chose to come to your home maybe she just enjoys you and her son but doesn't know how to express it. If i were you I WOULD cook for her continue to do what you guys do this is a time of family gathering and celebration when you start to get the thoughts you cant stand her and such then see her from a different light. she lost her husband and that is hard she is so use to coming there be a joy for her. even if it sometimes hurts try to kill her with kindness. i say this becasue i use to have the same issue with my MIL. i kinda actually hated her but today ... i cant cook for her anymore my husband and I have separated the big dinners we dont have his family is off limits to me and my family,,, it is a whole mess. and one thing i think of was when she was here i spent so much time fussing and fidgeting i didnt even spend time enjoying her im pretty sure by your explanations that is is only on holidays that you entertain.. Just do it be the loving mother that you are be the wife that you are be a caring person that you are. It is a blessing to entertain!

Your children are watching and listening and when they get older and YOU get older You will be in her place..lol it is inevitable so dont start a cycle of the "monster Mother in Law" Start a cycle of Love and caring and admiration. LOVE her despite of her anger and attitude try to talk to her she is a mother and she obviously feels very close to you and your family. so explain to her hey while you are hear how about you make breakfast..you know communicate. Embrace her with love and i bet you...I BET YOU the whole situation will turn around.. EMBRACE with LOVE. and invite her in.... remember she lost her husband and she is hurting and she needs you and her son and her grandchildren.. This is the time for family and she is your family.. be thankful because some people dont have that anymore.

May you have a wonderful blessed Christmas with your family it is such a short time that we have here together.. Dont waist it. ENJOY and EMBRACE With LOVE.

You aren't a Scrooge at all, Susie. In fact I applaud your courage in standing up to the Monster-In-Law. And your Husband deserves recognition for supporting you, having spoken to his mother a month in advance.

The Monster-In-Law should have taken her sons 'talk' at Thanksgiving as a wake up call to change her attitude and offer amends for past behavior. Instead she's thrown a temper tantrum and resorted to the 'poor little me' guilt trip with the old I'm all alone crying routine. I wouldn't tolerate such behavior from a six year old. But at least a six year old could be given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to knowing better.

Susie~ Well it seems she has suceeded in what she set out to do-that was to make you feel guilty. By your story I'am assuming that your husband is the oldest. She probably feels more closer to you 'll and thats why she always goes with you'll. BUT She has other children and the fact of the matter from my point of view is that I feel you are completely right, you are NOT be a scrooge. She and your FIL-(God bless em.)raised her family, this is your time for YOUR immediate family. Family is lovely but her other children know what shes like thats why they have not put that on their selves.HAVE a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Years .....God bless you....Linda

Bottom line, this should have never been your problem to handle. It is your Husbands fault, he should have dealt with this long time ago. He has put you in a bad spot, now you always look like the bad guy. From now on tell your Husband it is his responsibility to deal with his Mother and you will no longer be dealing with her on issues such as these.

BTW, hope you have a Merry Christmas despite this, count your blessings and this will not be as big of deal as it is.

I don't think your a scrooge. She had PLENTY of time if she knew at thanksgiving that she was not welcome for christmas and if she doesn't even have the decencyy to tell you thank you then maybe while she is alone this year she will become more thankful of the care that you put into her. She wont know how appreciativee she is of your kindness untill its gone and this year maybe she'll realize it. Tell her merry christmas with a big smile when you see her and she has to realize that she cant just invite herself into your home. Its christmas so don't stress out over it, enjoy your children and husband. Merry christmas and i hope it all works out.

No you are not a scrooge, she is a horrible woman from the sounds of things and you told her before hand that she would not be invited! And how dare she say she would go where she wanted when that is to your house and she was not invited! You should not make yourself and your family miserable to try to please her. Think of your kids, and don't have her over today only tomorrow!

Of course not! And I really wanna talk some sense to that grandma. You shouldn't have to deal with her any more. You should call up one of your family members and tell them to stop cowering and invite grandma over.

Of Course not! If she understands what she is doing and she doesn't bother to try to fix it, then she can cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!! She needs to understand what is going on, and don't beat yourself up about it, enjoy Christmas with your family.

NO, you are doing exactly what you should have done a long time ago it sounds like. Christmas is a time for family and sharing and caring, not for slavery by the MIL. I say enjoy your holiday. YOU DESERVE IT.

gettin all offended and hatin christmas then sayin i luv christmas some1 pass and get me a turkey.{for 2 money!!he even coined his way by a baby} tell ur nipples snow dosent fall contained in the spring.