I need advice on 5 year old asked to be ring bearer, 2 year old asked not to attend wedding (more details...)?

Well, I don't think there is a problem with excluding kids..but it's either NO kids at all, or allow kids.

I completely agree with you when you say that your sister is wrong for asking your 5 year old to participate and not allowing your 2 year old to attend.

As rude as she's being, you basically have these choices (well, it's what I would consider if I were you) you can:

1) Tell her its either both of them, or neither of them..and keep the 5 year old at home as well.

2.)Accept the fact that it's her wedding and just deal with it (but again, it's terribly rude)

I'd personally say it's ridiculous and tell her I'm not bringing either child, so I'd go with option 1..but that's just me.

Tough one, but at the end of the day it's up to you.

Good luck!

Im with you. Either no kids, or all kids. I find it disgusting that she inviting one sibling not the other.

Furthermore, when people dont invite kids they usually cut it off at an older age like 12 or 13. As far as Im concerned, a 2 and 5 year old are in the same "kid" category.

The fact that he is a ring bearer is icing on the cake. It is as if that is the only reason he is there. I wonder if you dont want him to be a ring bearer, if he would still be invited?

Im not one to beg for things. I wouldnt want an invitation that I have to ask for. Being that it was my sister, I would probably just go along with it. Or, I might tell her that I dont want to bring either kid, since its "not that kind of event". If she wants a ring bearer, she can find someone else.

We are doing a similar situation, but not exactly the same. We are having a no kids event for our wedding as well. The only exception is the one child that is a ring bearer. However, there are no siblings of that boy. If he had a brother or sister, we would have included both so that the family did not have to exclude one child. I think it was pretty tacky of your sister to include one of you children and not the other. I understand a childless wedding, and I understand allowing only the children in the wedding. Choosing what child(ren), if any, are in the wedding needs to be done with some tact, however. Unfortunately, what's done is done. I would mention this to your sister and express your hurt feelings. She should have, however, had both children walk together so they could both attend without offending other parents.

I have no problem if someone would rather not have children at the wedding. Personally, I wouldn't do it, but to each their own.

But to invite one child and not the other? T-A-C-K-Y! Not only tacky, but incredibly rude. Plus, if your 5-yr-old is asked to be in the wedding, will he be the only child there? Who would he have to play with if no other children are there?

If you feel it would cause too much of an issue to talk to her about bringing both children, then I would just bring neither. Don't put your 5-yr-old in the wedding if you can't also bring your 2-yr-old. Like you said, you have a babysitter in the town where the wedding is, so just make it a night out for you and your husband.

OK, I am going to go against what everyone is saying.

By your own account, your sister has only seen the kids a couple of times. So, she is basing it more on how your 2 year old was the last time she saw him. Was he cranky at all when she saw him? That is going to be in her memory. Plus she is basing her decision on the behavior of every other 2 year old that she encounters in every day life at the grocery store or in restaurants. I'm sure your 2 year old is perfect; but not everyone's is a perfectly behaved prince.

Assuming that the ceremony and reception are at two different venues, then there are two separate issues. Can you bring your 2 year old to the ceremony and go in a cry room if he starts acting up or crying? See if you and your sister can find a happy middle ground where your younger son is there for the ceremony (and the whole family pictures), but is at your friend's house during the reception.

IMHO, really young kids at receptions aren't a whole lot of fun for anyone. They get tired and cranky. They need naps. Sometimes they run around. I've been at receptions where the kids are running around and become the center of attention. Be gracious and help your sister to be the center of attention on her wedding day.

I wouldn't deprive your 5 year old in having this special role and lifetime memory of being a ring bearer at his aunt's wedding simply because his little brother couldn't attend the reception. Your 2 year old will probably have more fun playing with cars and trucks and watching the Wiggles at your friend's house anyway than at a wedding reception.

Children are not pets. You can't just drop them off at the kennel. You tell your sister that either both children attend the wedding or you and your husband and children will not attend the wedding. Period.

Assure Bridezilla that you will sit at the back of the church and take Toddles out at the first sign of squiggling. But it's either all or nothing.

What a selfish monster you have for a sister. Shesh.

Tell your sister he won't be in the wedding. You are not going to bring one child and leave the other one. The friend in town can watch both the kids.

I'm with you. It should either be that both kids are invited, or neither is invited. Picking and choosing within a family is insane.

Either both children should be invited or none at all. You can't play favorites without offending people.

your right both of ur children should of got an invite!! just tell her ur going to have to bring him and that he will be well behaved as always and u dont want to leave him with anyone else