Guests bring the food to a wedding?

Its fine only if you are having a small casual wedding of mostly local family and family friends and the location is at a public park or at someone's home.

It is definitely NOT okay if ANY of the following are true:

1. Your guests are coming from out of town. (Very difficult to transport food on an airplane -- also difficult to keep food from spoiling on a long car ride...last thing you want is food poisoning at your reception!)

2. Your wedding guest list is larger than 50. (Very few people can make a dish that is big enough to feed 120 people, so you run the risk of many people not getting to eat the dish that they want or there not being enough food because the family with 6 kids only brought a side dish that feeds 4 and a few of the guests couldn't cook anything at all, so they brought a box of doughnuts or just cash...things get complicated when your reception depends on the kindness of your guests and their schedules. Large potlucks also create confusion as to whose pie pan or crockpot is whose.)

3. Your guests have dietary restrictions. (It's easy to tell a caterer, "we need a kosher meal" but it's hard to tell a crowd of people "make sure you label every ingredient in your dish so that the people with allergies or other restrictions will know...." and it's even harder to tell them, "Please don't eat any of these dishes until all the vegetarians have gotten a chance to eat.")

4. Your reception is at a reception hall, museum....basically anywhere besides a person's home or a public park. (Most places that don't insist on using their own in-house caterer at least require that you be using a licensed and insured caterer.)

5. You are expecting gifts. (If you are expecting people to cook you a meal, this is more inconvenient for them than to buy you a gift. Don't ask them to do both. This means asking your relatives and friends to refrain from throwing any showers -- where people would feel obligated to purchase a gift.)

Other things to think about:

-If you do not have caterers and waitstaff, who cleans up?

-Will your guests feel unwelcome if they weren't able to cook something in time? Will they be looked upon as rude for not bringing something to share, when all they wanted was to pay their respects at your wedding? Guests are not even technically required to bring a gift, and so it would be very rude for you or any of your guests to make them feel uncomfortable for not being able to bring you a dish.

-What will your reaction be if guests get food poisoning? Will you regret your decision if something unfortunate happens? With a caterer, you have someone who is legally responsible, but this is not the case for a potluck.

-What are your other alternatives to help save money on the food budget? Perhaps having a late-night reception with only champagne and cake? Or having hors d'oeurve prepared by a few close friends and family who are good in the kitchen? Or having a backyard bbq with food that you get at a grocery store and enlisting a few friends to man the grill.

Good luck!

While asking for guests to bring a dish at large weddings would seem a bit tacky, i dont think it would be if it was just going to be a small affair. Me personally though? I would cut costs on some of the less important things such as favors, extra guests, fancy decorations, alcohol, etc. before asking them to bring anything. Have the reception at a family members home, a park or a friends house. Have a BBQ reception. No/little alcohol. You can get your foods wholesale at any Sam's Club or Costco. You can cut costs even further by just offering cake and punch. If you must feed them though, do it family style like i suggested. I have been to a potluck wedding before. (my little sisters) It actually went off very smooth- the only people who brought dishes were on the bridal party , and their parents. There was more than enough to feed all of the guests, and with such a wide variety of foods, it pleased everyone. You can still get married at the JP. Just plan the reception for later.

No, I have not. Sounds more like a potluck for football Sunday. If it was a close family member getting married, I would gladly do some cooking to pitch in. But if I was invited by say a co-worker or if it was a friend of my husband's getting married & I had to cook for that, I wouldn't be too pleased. I try not to put people's ideas or lifestyles down & I try not to be really strict about etiquette, but I think this is extremely tacky. Your guest have already made arrangements to attend, some of them will buy a dress or whatever, get you wedding presents, and then they're supposed to transport food, and basically feed themselves & others? No. I just don't think it's a good way to thank your guests for their presence. If you can't afford to do a plated meal, then do some appetizers & finger foods. Even my grocery store does platters that are inexpensive & made ready for pickup.

Not acceptable. You can have a family potluck in the summer if you want but you can't do that at your wedding. If anyone is from out of the area, they can't bring a casserole on the plane with them. You are hosting the event so you serve what you can afford and your guests are not expected to provide their own food and drinks. If you can't afford a full meal, just have cake and coffee.

Perfectly acceptable?! Anything but! It would be alright if you had your mother and a few of your aunts help you prepare a meal for all of your guests, but you NEVER ask guests to bring food! They are your GUESTS! I'm sorry save your self the embarrassment, and just do a cocktail reception or figure our a different way, this is just beyond tacky!

" Your invited to come join us for dinner... Bring your own food!" Your fiance needs to get his head checked!

Yes, I have. It's called a potluck wedding. However, in many parts of the country, this is totally against etiquette. If you live in a small town (as I do) OR are having very, very close family and a few friends...then this is more acceptable.

However, IF you were to do this, it would be best to have this be "in lieu of a gift." Your guests cannot be expected to bring the food AND also a gift.

i would happily bring food to a local backyard wedding, but i live in the deep south and more often than not, that's what we do here.

i would provide the meat, beverages and wedding cake and ask guests to bring the side dishes.

that said, if she has on a 1000 dollar wedding dress and the wedding is in an expensive place, then no i would not bring food.

i think you will have a strong geographic divide on this issue.

Ouch. Not a good idea. As the Bride and Groom, it's quite expected of you to provide food for your guests. Having them have to bring it is just not widely acceptable.

This would be beyond tacky.

You are supposed to provide for the comfort of your guests, including food and beverage and entertainment (band or DJ). If you can't afford a big reception, invite fewer people or pare back on the expense of the items served...

NO! That is horrid and tacky. You don't ask guests to bring the food for themselves, omg, I would be so embarrassed. Buck up the money and get a caterer.