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Dating again after an abusive relationship, why is it so hard?
I was in an abusive relationship for about 2yrs...I was lucky enough to get out of it. I met this guy about 6 months ago. We started going to the movies, dinner...he is in the army, not that it matters...but lately we have been getting a bit more serious and now is when my insecurities start to come up again. He tells me he is busy and that he will try to make time to meet with me during the week. He does. the problem is that my mind starts playing tricks on me and i start doubting him. He is a great guy and he says he really likes me, and i really like him too. We have a great time when we are together. I know this might be a stupid question, but, if he is making time for me, does that mean he likes me??... He is an arms specialist, he teaches soldiers about all the equipment and arms before they are deployed. That kind of job would take a lot of time from him, right? I feel like he is really honest, and he lets me know when hes going to be busy. But I dont know what to do about the way that I feel. Any advise will be greatly appreciated. thanks.
6 Answers
- magnolia_76Lv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
♦ Yeah he likes you. Try to relax some. I know it's hard, your wanting for something bad to happen, because you where in that abusive mess for 2 years, and for those 2 years "waiting on the bad' to happen, probably happened daily. It takes time to get past this stuff, but this guy isn't the one from your past, so give him a chance. Your not use to this good stuff, take it in, let it happen. Good luck
- A Decade AgoLv 71 decade ago
this is WHY its mandatory for women to get out of an abusive relationship and read the warning signs as SOON as possible, because it follows them to the next relationship. you've been with this abusive guy for TWO years?
i have always heard men complain that they get the cold shoulder just because of some OTHER guy that treated their girlfriend wrong. don't do that to this guy you're dating now, he has NOTHING to do with that jerk you dated. yes hes in the army, yes he teaches students, so yes hes going to be busy alot.
i think you should have just taken time and relax and try to get over your past relationship instead of just jumping in another one with someone else. but since he seems like a nice guy, don't push him away.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
From personal experience I understand that its really difficult. But it seems like this guy is really a good guy. He says he'll make time for you and he does. The main thing is that you need to make sure your ready for a serious relationship. And if you are, then you have to remember that this guy is NOT YOUR EX. I hope I helped.
Source(s): me. - Anonymous1 decade ago
He sounds like a great guy. It's gotta be normal to have insecurities after an abusive relationship though. Don't sweat it.
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- manny k.Lv 51 decade ago
This is a great question and a very easy one to solve, and "cure".
Have you met his parents? If not ,than make it a point to meet them. You will learn tons of information from them about their son. Good and bad. Parents like to brag about their children and before you know it they will blubber about everything.
Does he have brothers an or sisters. get to know them. And so my dear you got the whole enchilada...
From your description he seems to be an upstanding guy
Good Luck
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Its hard becasue subconsiously you are expecting him to beat you or harm you often. After a while you should de-sensitie to it or in some way he will prove that he wont hurt you like that other guy did.
