Going thru a divorce?

I am so sorry you are going through this and that you didn't want the divorce. I have been through it and it is hard. I wanted the divorce and had no children but it was still tough and the first year was hard. I recommend journaling to express your feelings, talking with friends you trust. There are divorce groups out there I went to one at my church and being around others going through the same thing helped. The next thing you want to do is get to know yourself again. Develop new interest or get involoved in old interest. Volunteer and/or join a group at www.meetup.com that has all kinds of groups in your area everything from book clubs to wine tasting groups. That is what I did during my divorce. If you don't all ready do so work out, spend time with your kids, get involved in your church.

You will go through periods of highs and lows. One day you will feel great and know you can make it and you aren't upset about the divorce. The next day you may just sit and cry and be sad and angry about it and that is ok and normal. You need to take time to morn the loss of your married life but at the same time be happy in your present and hopeful of your future. This is not the end of the world for you and you can pull through this.

Good Luck, and ((((HUGS))))

Divorce is always painful, especially after a long marriage, whether you are the one that wanted it or not. You need to go through the grieving process and mourn the end of the relationship - that takes time.

But, as one door closes others open and you can use the new environment in which you find yourself to reinvent yourself, rediscover yourself as a unique person and not the other half of a couple. It's normal to feel pain, it's normal to find it difficult to get up in the morning and have a heavy heart, but things will get better little by little. Set yourself targets to achieve each day - do something new, treat yourself, believe in yourself.

Sometimes people just grow apart, and its no fun being in a one-sided relationship. Sometimes it's nobody's fault a mariage ends, people change. Accept that he wanted a divorce, it's not anyone's failure but the way things are. He wanted different things, but that's not to say it's your fault.

Stay strong, better days will come along. Good luck.

I would strongly encourage you to locate a divorce support group in your community and join it. That will definitely help you work on the emotional issues of going through a divorce. Have you worked outside the home during your marriage? If not, you need to get busy now and locate a job. Find out if there is any type of women's resource center in or near your community that can help you locate work. Consider going back to school and learn a trade if you don't have job skills.

Concerning your statement about thinking you are the failure, remember that it takes two people to make a marriage work and it generally also takes two people to make a marriage fail. The primary person you have to be honest with is yourself. Whatever your spouse did is totally on him. I wish you well, honey.

It is a process. Its like the death of a loved one. All of you are in the grieving period. Yes its hard, but you will get through it. Believe it or not you are teaching your children a valuable lesson about real life. They need to know that all marriages do not last forever for whatever the reason. They will be better prepared in their relationships because they have a reference to deal with life's mishaps. Are you all in counseling. Especially you because you said you didn't want the divorce. Pick yourself up and lick your wounds. It is what it is. Once you accept and forgive your ex husband, you can begin life anew. You Will smile again. You Will love again. This is the time for you to get to know you. Show your kids what you're made of and let them know they come from good stock. Let them see you cry because its the best form of release. Let them see you plan for what happens when this is over with because you teach by example. Above all, let them see you laugh because life goes on. You sound like a winner. I read somewhere when we lose a loved one, we make some major changes in our lives. Such as cut our hair. Get new clothes. Move or paint the entire house or something else. We do this to work through the pain and to rid ourselves of whatever is hurting us. You can do it too! Like I said, you sound like a winner! Now go out and be ONE!

I just wanted to drop you a line to tell you I am so, so sorry.

A divorce is like a lil death in it's own. I know...I've been there.

I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear but only time will heal your wounds. Fortunately with time it hurts less and less.

Everyday tell yourself that you will be ok. Put some women empowering songs on your ipod and go for a jog. I am serious...that some "i will survive" just does something to you. And exercise takes you out of your head for a lil while and that can be a blessing in times like this.

Right now it feels like it is taking everything in you just to get out of bed, But you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are so much stronger then you think you are...I promise.

Don't consider yourself a failure. It takes 2 people to work on a relationship. Your children are older so they will be more supportive. Seems like your husand wanted to wait until the children were almost grown.

It may sound harsh but just think of it this way, why be with someone that doesn't want to be with you? Neither one of you will be happy.

It takes two to make a marriga and it takes two do ruin it. It is not all your fault regardless of what anyone tells you. The pain is a different story there is not much you can do only know that in time it will go away. Once you start to believe in yourself again and start living your life things will fall into place.

You just pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move on to the next level of life....At least most of your children are adults and you only have only minor child for only a couple of years. Imagine if you had very small children.

Remember...life is exactly what you make it...What you decide to do or not do will be your life your choice. Just remember you still have one impressionable minor child left.

Good luck

Marriages just end. Eventually you'll realize that nobody is at fault, and that there wasn't anything you could have done. You need to give yourself time and space to learn who you really are on your own.

Time heals all wounds.

I have had my hearst ripped out before, it hurts.

Time