Birth mother is trying to turn over adoption what should we do?

i wouldnt give the baby back. It was an adoption. You have rights to keep the child when the birthmother agreed or volunteered her unborn baby to you. I would stick to my guns, change my home number and see a lawyer ASAP.

I dont have sympathy for the birthmother, why should anyone? She's toyed with the baby since its birth, to keep it or not, i dont want this baby i dont love it?! Where is her mothering instinct? No good mother feels that about her new baby. Babys arnt something you can love oneday and the next just want to give it all away. To me she seems she dosent know what she wants, or how to be a good mother, she has no idea that caring for a child is a 27/7 job and obviously she just wants to be apart time mother. Fine put the child in fostercare, you can mother it only when you feel like it..be a part time mother. No court would agree to this.

Not only that she has played with your moms feelings since before the baby is born, most adoptive families grow a bond with the birth mothers and get to know them. they look for ward to the child being born as if it were theirs. Does anyone realise what the adoptive parents go through?!! the emotions and hoping that the mother :will: hand the baby over, after months of drreaming about having their own baby to hold and kiss? Think about that everyone..you all seem to think that all adoptive parents have the greedy claws out to get your child. makes me angry.

File a report that she is harrassing your family, cut her off completly and go back to the adoption agency or oragnisation you did the adoption through and sort this out. better still, tell your mother to not let her feelings go with little Lilah and realise that she might just have to go. goodluck

well, i'd like to tell you that this is a clean cut right and wrong situation, but it's not.

i'm not sure where you live, but i know that here in the uk adoption is a long term process, and even when things are 'signed off' the adoption isn't final, eventhough the baby is living with you etc etc. here the baby can be 'your's for months, even a year before everything is legal.

and in that time if the birth parents say 'we've made a mistake' then they have ever right to take the baby back. that's part of the reason the adoption process takes so long here - so that everyone is entirely happy with what they are doing.

i don't think you have children of your own, because if you did you would be able ti understand that after birth something else just takes over, whether it's hormones or not, t's someting and it completely changes how you feel. and i think this is what has happened here.

it sound to me like this woman thought she was makin the right decision, but when she actually saw the baby it was a different story. i don't think it's reasonable of you to hate her for loving her child.

i understand that you love this child too, but at the end of the day, and i'm sorry to say it, it's not yours.

put yourself in her place, what if you had thought you were doing the right thing, and then realised you had made a terrible mistake? what if hose people you trusted then wouldn't back down, your child YOUR CHILD was there, with someone else who wouldn't let you have it back, who belived that they had more right to it than you did.

i'm not saying anyone here is right or wrong, because that's not my decision to make, but i can tell you that if this goes to court, and it probably will, this woman will most likely get her child back. i'm sorry.

but also, it's not for you to judge how good a mother she would be. who cares if she didn't finish college? or that she lives in a trailer. that doesn't impact on her ability to look after a child, and i don't think it's right for you to look down on her because you don't think she's good enough.

Well I do feel for you , the expecting mother has a right to change her mind. Now in your case I think this woman needs some counseling. A child is not a toy that she can decided she wants one day but does not want the next. Its one thing to change her mind once the baby is born. Its another to take that child home and parent for over a month then decided she does not want to parent and give the child to the lady who was planning on adopting the baby and then a few weeks later decided that yes she wants to parent again. That imo shows that she does not truly know what she wants. What happens if 2months from now she decides she does not want to parent?

As far as her getting the baby back if you have a reclaim period it could very well be possible depending on how long that is. Some states they can be as short as 48 hours , others they can be a few months. There are some that don’t even have a reclaim period once the paper is signed it can not be revoked. All you can do is truly seek the advice of an attorney. There are plenty of children that need homes so if your mom has to give this baby back. There is not shortage of children in need of a parent and loving home.

I was orginally going to give my daughter up for adoption but THANK THE LORD I changed my mind and I had to deal with the couple who was planning on adopting my daughter making me feel like crud for wanting to raise MY child. I dont understand why some people just feel intitled to a child that isnt theres. it really hurts a lot of ppl. If this child grows up and find out that you and your mother pruposly ruined any chance she had of getting to know her mother she will resent the both of you and chances are she will be unable to forgive you. I dont mean to sound harsh but you and your mother are being selfish. The least ya'lls two could do is involve the mother in little Lilah's life. That way she can maintain a realtionship with HER daughter.

When you say the birth mother signed off her rights, do you mean she actually went to an attorney and signed relinquishment papers? And now you have what? Guardianship? Power of attorney? I'm sure you don't have an adoption since the father's rights are still intact.

I would talk to an attorney, and tell him the whole story. Right away, don't let any more time pass. Then get ahold of birthdaddy, and see what he says. The mom doesn't sound real stable, especially is she's saying she doesn't love the baby after six weeks of caring for it. If she has PPD, there is a small chance she might hurt the child. So, since there is no final adoption, you need to check everything out real well. Talk to the mother's family, talk to the bio dad, talk to an attorney.

I think you might as well become comfortable with the fact that you probably will not get to keep the baby. So before someone forces you to give it back, try to have some control over who you give it too - maybe grandma or an aunt or the father, who can help the mother get the help she needs to take care of her baby.

My first question to you was, was this done legally and with lawyers and courts? If not then you don't have a hope in heck of keeping the child. If it was done legally and through the courts then you may not be able to give the child back even if you wanted to since legally your mother would be the legal mother of the child. The whole thing sounds kinda fishy to me though although I admit that things are hard to explain online.

The ONLY WAY this will be resolved is for you guys to speak with your lawyer and find out where you stand legally. Like it or not, if the legal part has not been completed, then the mother is well within her rights (both legally and morally) to take her child back. If the legal part was completed then, legally, she can't take the child back because it is legally no longer hers.

You will never know where you stand until you speak with a lawyer. I suspect however that you may not be happy with what he/she (the lawyer) has to say.

Some people in here are hypocrates. My adoptive mom and dad only had me for 5 days when my bio mom tried to get me back. Got her family to try blah blah. She GAVE UP HER RIGHTS TO BE MY 'MOTHER' when she said she didn't want me anymore. She then went back and said she did. Give me bad ratings I don't care. If she's signed her rights over its done. My mom and dad fought for me after only having me for a few days becaused they already loved me. 2 weeks or 2 days it doesn't matter. The mother doesn't care for the kid or she wouldn't go back forth. She wants a baby sitter. And its so funny that people compare a child losing its mother to the death of a loved one but not the other way around. How would you feel if the birth mom who said she didn't want the child you loved then changed her mind over and over? And just because she gave birth to it that's best for it? I have to say people on here are hypocritcal.

If the father hasn't signed away his parental rights and Lilah is already two months old, there's a chance he won't. He has every right to make arrangements to have Lilah removed from your home.

What state do you live in? Every state has different laws regarding how long a parent has to revoke their consent. It's very possible the mom has the legal right to reclaim her child. Look up your state in this document: http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_polici...

Your mother needs to consult with the social workers, attorneys or agencies involved with this placement. It sounds like a seriously sticky situation.

As an adoptive mom I understand how heartbreaking this must be, but on the other hand I wonder if I could have slept at night if our daughter's mother called me and pleaded for her child back. Don't her words echo in your head?

Firstly i would just like to say this is why i completely disagree with pre-birth matching and this whole process of adoption when children need homes in Foster Care.

Anyway this woman who gave away her child is NOT a mother, nor does she deserve this baby back but at the end of the day she is harassing your mother and it is in the child's best interest to get the law and child protection involved if they are not already. She is 23, so she knew what she was doing and if you ask me someone this selfish does not deserve to 'get her baby back'. A child is not a posession or something you buy in a store.

People saying that she 'lost her child and deserves her baby back'...boo hoo, she misses her baby, but she had decided to give this child AWAY before birth. I have no sympathy for either party involved!!

Lilah belongs with her mother. When my son was 6 weeks, I would sit on the couch at 4am crying because of post partum depression. Every woman gets ppd at some point after having her child, it sounds like Lilah's mother was suffering from this too. If you two truly love Lilah, you need to let her be with her mother. If your mother keeps her, expect for her to resent you guys when she finds her mom and learns that your mother refused to return her to her natural mother.