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Should I return the balance of the money I was paid?
I recently resigned from a church that I was a musician for 17 years. During that time, I only received one raise of $100 and the other 16 years, just a monthly stipend of $600. Recently, the pastor took the opportunity without any prior consulation, discussion, or warning a deduction from my check. When I called and asked about it - he said, "you would not have called me if your check had not been short, it's all about YOU'." Then he said, "you were absent one Wed night (I was sick, called and told him, and was eventually hospitalized), and cancelled a rehearsal (one member showed up!) I was rather taken aback. Prior to this - I had been meditating on the possibility of quitting for many reasons (needed a change, pursue advanced degree, travel, and the headache of having to deal with his issues whenever he wanted to bring them up which were always stressful, hurtful and never encouraging to me).
So, they paid me for the month of May. I cashed the check. Tues. I wrote a letter and resigned. I did not charge anyone for resignation and just said that it was time for someone else to take up the baton and vision - that I had done all I could do.
Now - he is calling, leaving me text messages and emails and his only question: "What about the money we paid you?"
Technically, I feel that for the 16 years I went without a raise, I'm owed. I have no intention of returning the balance of the money. But I am curious as to what some of you think.
I'm not mad, I'm disappointed that he is so controlling and thought that he could continue to make my life miserable. I have never 'fought' back before - and yes, perhaps this is my way of seeking some satisfaction. This might not be the "Christian-like" thing to do - but I don't plan to meet with him, talk to him, discuss anything.
What would you do?
Also - how can I block him from my personal email address?
To Star12....I didn't 'charge' for my services. My basic income is from teaching school however, when this church needed a musician, they, like most churches that I know of, will PAY the musician (s) to provide music and singing (if they can sing) for the church body. I don't know of any church who does not pay for musicians to be on staff at their church. This is a service that pay is expected because you are providing an additional service to the church that is specific. The Pastor gets paid, the musicians, the custodians. Others might get some kind of stipend for special services, but I spent years of music lessons, voice lessons and this is worthy of payment. I provided other services to my church that were not charged. I played for funeral services, weddings, baptisms, revivals, taught Sunday School, Vacation Bible School and other things that no charges. I love my service to the church, I just don't like inconsistency and drama.
Thanks to all of you for your comments
22 Answers
- † PRAY †Lv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
First off just to be free of him I would give the money back..
I would take the money and make him sign a receipt that also says that he will not email or call you or contact you in any form and make sure he signs it, if not I would take it to the church board and if they don't respond then to the denomination leaders.
But I think the board would respond.
Don't fight in church about money, this Pastor will bring a curse upon himself & his ministry, by his own arguing about this . You need to be free from him and this issue so that you can have peace in your own life and forgive him for this. Let him go and God will deal with him..
I had a situation similar with a person and gave back $1,300 dollars and this person never got blessed and I ended up with peace and God blessed me financially in the end..
The Bible specifically instructs you NOT to take this to a civil court. Follow the Lord and it will work out.
Source(s): 1Co 6:1 Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? 1Co 6:2 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? 1Co 6:3 Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? 1Co 6:4 If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. 1Co 6:5 I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? 1Co 6:6 But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. 1Co 6:7 Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? - 1 decade ago
It kind of depends on the arrangement you had..Did you have a contract? Is the money significant enough for him to want to take you to small claims' court? He might have a case against you depending on the arrangement and whether it was well documented.
How much was the deduction he took? If it was less than $600 he might also have a case against you. Most labor laws require that work time be prorated..When you leave or start in the middle of the month (much like paying rent) you are paid for the exact number of days/hours you worked based on an average daily figure.
You could stall to see if he'll pursue it in court and then pay at the last minute, but you could also risk having your reputation destroyed by a pastor telling everyone you stole from the church.
If you think he'll just go away and you are not close to the church community you might get away with keeping it, but just because you think you deserved a raise but didn't get one doesn't justify your keeping the extra month pay.
- MSBLv 71 decade ago
I think if you worked the hours already, you are owed the money.
If you didn't work the hours, you are not owed the money and should give the money back.
If you thought you were worth more or underpaid you should have addressed it earlier, or found another job a long time ago.
If they took advantage of you and you let them then you have to deal with the outcome.
But you resigned, and they have absolutely no obligation, legal or moral, to pay you for work you didn't do.
Regardless of how unappreciative they were of your services, it would be seriously wrong to keep the money.
- JoyfulLv 41 decade ago
You agreed to work for the terms you and your pastor set out. If you were paid for May, you should finish out the month or return whatever portion you didn't earn. He seems mean, controlling, and petty, but it's what was agreed on. It's best not to let your pride get in the way. You can block him from your e-mail by sending him to your spam folder. You can tell him that you think you deserve May as severance. But still, it's not what was agreed on and you "should" return what he's requesting, just because he's asking for it back, minus anything you did in May.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
If this was an agreed-on job you'd do at this church in return of receiving some kind of payment for your time and effort, then he is being very rude if he's expecting you to give it back.
Does he think that money buys you forever? Expecting his money back is like expecting to get it back from a store when clothing eventually wears out.
He may think it's all about you, but he himself is all about money. Which isn't any better.
- Jayne SavageLv 71 decade ago
I didn't know musicians got paid for singing/performing at church. I don't agree with that in the first place. If you were paid in advance, you should finish out your term, don't accept any more money and leave when you have done what you have been paid for. I'm sorry you're not getting what you need out of your church community. Just remember, it's about Jesus, not the people in the building.
- eugendesLv 51 decade ago
Well technically he payed you for a service which you didn't provide, did you have a contract? If so then he could take this as a case before court and sue you for the amount you were payed for the month of may, plus court fees it would be better to give him the money back.
- coder.headLv 51 decade ago
Weird! The church pays people? The only paying position in our church when I was growing up was the pastor. Everyone else was a volunteer - secretaries, youth group ministers, music director, soundboard operator...
Unless you had a contract saying you'd be there until you die or else pay back all of the money, I think you're safe.
- 1 decade ago
If you want to e-mail me, I can walk you through blocking him. As far as returning the money, just pray or meditate or whatever you like to do on it, and you will be directed to what you need to do. It sounds to me as though this man should not be involved with a leadership position with a church because he is hurting the cause and probably driving people away from God rather than welcoming them in like he should. He needs to fix his behavior.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It's a dilemma for you
If you honestly feel you have been wronged then mark his email as spam but if there is even the slightest doubt return to over payment and have peace of mind
