What effects are on their Mentality/ Their way of thinking once they've served in the ARMY (7 yrs)?

I have a boyfriend of 7 months. He went straight to the ARMY out of high school. Just came back 9 months ago. His way of thinking is DUMB! I thought that he was just being inconsiderate and not caring about my feelings and not wanting to do things for me to me or with me. Could he truly be just DUMB and not able to think outside his military mind? I feel as if I have to give him instructions on how to be with me. Make plans with me. Do stuff for me. Please don't think I'm being selfish here. The first few months I was cooking for him, washing not all but a lot of his clothes. Then I stopped. He wasn't trying to take me out, Do things for me. Offer to bring groceries or buy food. NOTHING! So I stopped all those things. And there's just so much more. I haven't met his kids. Nor his parent or other sibling. I've never been to where he sleeps. (He lives with his Sis). But again I've never et her. So am I being Naive to think he can't think for himself I have to tell him what he needs to do.. OR Am I being played? I see him constantly, we talk all the time. BUt It's the fact that I haven't been to his place or met anyone else in his family that should have nothing to do with the way he thinks right? GRRR!!!!