Should I confront my husband about this?

hmm i had an ex that went through all of my things and went off on me for having something from an ex that was from such a long time ago then. and it was the dumbest thing ever!! i cant help that i had a relationship before him... and i actually had forgotten to delete it. didn't even know it was on there. soo if i were you... i wouldn't bring that up, but i would just say that you didn't feel comfortable with him talking to her because you know that she has a thing for him, and him still talking to her, you feel like its disrespectful and bothers you. on the other hand.. if the poem was recent and just about a long time ago... i would definitely drill him because that's messed up. lol. you're married you're allowed to go through each others things. and i would say he shouldn't get mad if he didn't have anything to hide. ;)

Let me tell you what happened to me. I found some 'damaging evidence' over 20 years ago and held it over my husbands head for all those years. However, I never told him what it was I found or why I was angry all those years until just recently. Well, of course, he turns the whole thing back onto me saying that I ruined 20 years of marriage by not confronting him at the time I found these things.

He said he couldn't even remember anything happening that I was accusing him of. Is that the truth? I will never know now. He was pretty angry with me for keeping that in for all those years.

So I hope this helps you make your decision. Good luck.

Your husband kept an email that is 3 years old? That's strange!

You have to ask your self. Are you willing to leave your husband now for what happened between him and this woman 3 years ago? If not, then I wouldn't say anything to him. If you do, he'll change his email password and you will never be able to check his email again.

Keep quiet and occasionally check his email and his cell phone for text messages to see if there's anything going on in the present.

You might not have read your husband's email if you didn't feel uneasy about infidelity in the first place. Obviously he was not innocent. It was his actions and your gut instinct that had you reading that email.

You were married with children when he had that affair. Can you just forget it an move on without some honesty in the relationship? I can tell you from life experience, that most men who have affairs and get away with it, have another. Sometimes when you have the proof in front of you, you still want to deny it because you love him and want so badly to believe that he is not a cheater.

I'd bring it up to him and here's why. If there was or is anything going on he needs to know your are aware. It may help him decided if it is worth loosing you over.

Now you may want to do alittle more digging before talking to him. Like his phone, computer, car, a pda. WHY? because if he is up to no good once you talk to him about it he will only get better at hiding things from you.

But my personal feeling is....it was three years ago probably over by now. But I would just keep my eyes open.

Be honest and bring it up with him right now. There should be no reason for him to be upset with you for looking at his email unless he was trying to hide something from you. Totally wrong for him to have the poem regardless of it being from a few years ago because there should be NO reason why he should still have it now. If he does lash back at you, just ask him how he would feel if he found a poem in your email from your ex?? I doubt he would take it so lightly.

Gosh, I'd be tempted to email her back myself. Hey, it's your husbands email on your marital property, she knew she was taking a risk when sending it. Yah, I'd probably email her back and say nothing to your husband, saying something about perhaps it is time for her to move on, find someone else for that juvenile poem, you are going to block her email address now and any further emails will be considered harrassment, bla, bla. They wait and see if your husband says anything. Make sure to print out the email, then delete it, then hide it, with your answer on it as well. Just in case. If he mentions it then you'll know that they talk alot. She should feel embarrassed.

I had a girlfriend who kept a diary of all the guys she screwed in the past, and I read it and it ruined our relationship because I couldn't stand being with someone who would do such a thing...Sometimes it's best to leave the past where it belongs. It's already happened and can't be changed. But if it eats away at you like reading the diary did me, then yes confront him immediately before you're consumed by the mental anguish...

OK, you are caught between thinking maybe he is cheating on her and being worrie about getting caught snooping. Tough one...info you can't use.

If he is a good husband and father then would it be that bad if he saw her on a business trip or two? A special friend for a treat?

BC

I'm sure every woman has done this--gone through emails or text messages. I'd say drop it. If there is nothing recent you have nothing to worry about. trust me, you'd be making problems for your relationship if you bring it up. Most guys will get uncomfortable, as if you are invading their space.