i've always wanted a baby should i have one or not with my best friends husband?

I would take the advice and find someone when your heart and mind heal. You will never fill the void losing your husband, you will gain understanding and learn how to deal with it. But having a baby right now is not the right thing to do. If you were truly ready to have this child with your friends husband you would not have to ask you would know your answer. Wait and fall in love again. It won't ever be the same as your husband but love and a family is there for you if you wait and find it on your own.

It sounds like you are soooo ready to be a mommy and that is always a plus and you friend and her husband sound like they are very cool with your decision but your head is in the right screw when you say how will i explain it later to the kid s as they grow up...really think hard that this may turn into something ugly at some point and the marriage will never be the same between them now if your husband was alive and roles were reversed what would you think?

There are alson tons if kids waiting to be adopted and lookin for a good mommy...

I think it's way too soon after losing your husband to make such an emotional decision. Wait until you are able to clearly think this through. The relationship you are describing doesn't seem like just a sperm donor, it seems like a polyamorous relationship. I mean, he has sex with you, fathers the child and wants to help raise it. That leads to emotions. That is a relationship. Is your best friend OK with that? Are you OK with him being your best friend's husband and not your husband after he's made love to you, fathered the child and has been the dominant romantic interest in your life? Those are hard questions you need to address.

Assuming this question is genuine, it looks from your profile like you lost your husband two months ago. That hardly seems to me like enough time to get through your grieving, let alone be certain that you'll never find anyone else. Your fertility's not going to decline that sharply if you take a few more months to think this through and ask yourself whether these are really the best time and circumstances for you to bring a child into the world.

If you're for real and determined to go ahead with this, though, I think it's going to be very difficult to interpose yourself into your friends' relationship like this and avoid potentially explosive complications - the kind that could ruin your friendship and their marriage, and in effect leave your kid without a sense of who his or her dad is anyway. There are donors out there who'd be willing to have the kid contact them when s/he's grown up. You might just have to hunt around a bit for one, which brings me right back to the "wait and think through all your options" recommendation.

I say NO!! You are only looking for trouble down the line. If you want to have and raise your child on your own then you should go to a sperm donor clinic and have your procedure done there, you can choose his looks as you please, you may even find a guy that looks like your husband and when the baby grows up you can tell him that your husband is his father but he passed away. And if this is too expensive for you then just go out and find a guy that you like, have sex with him in your fertile state and you should become pregnant.

This is NOT normal any way you look at it! Marriage for one is a SACRED trust between ONE man and ONE WOMAN! Find a man of your own to conceive your child with...it's not worth messing up a child's life nor a relationship with your best friend! Believe...it will happen. Even though they both agree (and that is very scarry in itself), this will go no where good. I would seriously question this couples heads and values! Do you want a child growing up thinking this is acceptable? I think not! Next thing you know, incest isn't far behind that scenario! Wake up girl! This is NOT a booty call! This is verging on insanity! And we wonder why our children our twisted?

Wow.This is a very difficult question,but it's your life and your body,so stop listening to ppl on here and do what you want to do w/ them,but I personally would advice you not to do it.First heal yourself emotionally...Your friend might be saying this now,but trust me,it will slowly make your friendship grow apart.I think you should let your friend and her huband alone.They don't deserve for someone to just come in b/w them like that even if you're her BF and they're willing to do it.At some point she will regret it,trust me.There's alway adoption and you could always find another man,yes,he will not be just like your husband,all of them are different,but there's plenty out there that would love to have a family.There's plenty of fish in the sea,so why exactly her husband??It's unfair,put yourself in her shoes.Wish you the best of luck-And I'm sorry about your lost.

I donated to by brother-in-law and sister-in-law. It caused a lot of family rifts as they have now split up!! I donated twice and was succesful both times this being via a clinic.

I also donated to a single mum who advertised on a free web site - I was surprised when she wanted to go the NI route but did donate naturally. We tried for two or three days a month for nearly a year - it was difficult for me as although the sexual side was fun we did get a bit attached.

Well, I think it would be better if you healed yourself emotionally for a while, then tried to find yourself a husband of your own so that you can have a "nuclear family" which would be more healthy for all involved. At least wait a while before you make any such decisions. You may not be in a satisfactory emotional state to make such a big decision right now. I am sorry you lost your husband.

that could cause serious problems with your best friend. what if she decides she doesnt like the idea. or if at some point they fight you for custody of the child? also, you may not get pregnant the first time you have sex with him, so is your best friend sure she's ok with you sleeping with her man UNTIL you get pregnant. when my husband and i started trying to conceive it took 6 months before i was pregnant. then we ended up losing the child.

it's your body, your decision, but my personal opinion is dont do it. it could lead to disaster.