Catholic Poop Jokes? - well let's have 'em?

Hey! That's the abridged version of the joke I told YOU!

Oh well. Plagiarism is the highest form of flattery! :-p

You tell it much better than I do anyway. I'm too often long winded.

Here's one told to me by a Protestant. I've obviously switched the joke up a bit:

A little boy taking a box of newborn puppies to the local park to sell them to passer-bys. On his way to the park, he crosses a local Evangelical Church outside of which the pastor was taking a quick break. The pastor approaches the boy and says "My what mighty fine puppies you have. What kind of puppies are they?" To which the boy responds "They're Protestant puppies!" The pastor chuckled, patted the boy on the head and sent him on his way.

A couple days later, the local Catholic priest and that same Evangelical pastor were having lunch outside of a small restaurant. The same boy with the same box of puppies starts to walk past the two when the pastor says to the priest: "Oh you've got to see this kid and his puppies. So adorable."

The priest says "My what gorgeous little puppies you have, what kind are they?" To which the boy says "they're Catholic puppies!".

Taken aback, the Evangelical pastor says "But wait a minute, a few days ago you told me they were Protestant puppies."

"Yeah" said the kid, "but that was when their eyes were still closed."

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An elderly couple frequently attended church at a very lively, Evangelical fellowship (mostly at the behest of the wife). The husband was never into it, and often fell asleep during the sermon. The wife, entirely embarrassed, spoke with the pastor one day after the service in hopes of a remedy.

"Pastor Johnson, you give wonderful, lively sermons which are so edifying, but unfortunately my good-for-nothing husband keeps falling asleep. Do you have any suggestions for me in keeping him awake to hear the good news!?"

"Why yes!" said the pastor. "Take this hat pin, and whenever I give you *this* hand signal, give him a slight jab to the leg. It will wake him right up!"

So next Sunday, the wife gives the little device a try. At one point in the pastor's sermon, he asked the congregation rhetorically "Who created the entire universe and all that is inside of it in six literal days-uh!?" at which point he noticed the husband dozing off, so he gave the Mrs. the indicated signal. She quickly jabbed him with the hat pin at which point he jumped up and screamed "Oh my God!".

"That's right brother! Our good and gracious God created this all!"

10 minutes later, the husband again began to fall asleep. The pastor asked the congregation "And, who suffered on Calvary's hill that great and sorrowful day for all of our sins that we might be saved!?" again, at which point he give the woman the secret hand signal.

"Jesus Christ!" exclaims the man at his pain.

"Right again brother!" lauds the pastor.

As the sermon progressed, the pastor became more and more enthused and more and more flamboyant (not realizing that he'd began subconsciously giving the lady the signal).

At one unsuspecting point the pastor asks the congregation "And what did Eve say to Adam after they had their last child!?" The pastor accidentally gave the gesture; the lady jabbed her husband in the leg, and the husband jumps up screaming: "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time I'm going to break it in half and shove it up your ***."

To which the congregation exclaimed "Amen!"

LOL. I haven't heard them either. I'm Catholic and I LOVE poop jokes. It's a match made in heaven for me. Can't wait to hear them.

I liked it and i have one for you Pat and Mick are in the jungle next to a river. A crocodile swims by with a mans head sticking out its mouth. Pat says to Mick look at that flash **** with his Lacoste sleeping bag !

Catholicism + Bodily Functions = Comedy Gold

It's that simple.

haha, Thats a good one.

How do you get a Nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an Altar-Boy.

How often does a Catholic priest poop?

every nine months.