how do you get over the passing of your friend?

I'm so sorry for your loss. You won't ever forget your friend. She will always be in your heart. It hurts now, I know. But the day will come when the burden of grief is one you carry with pride because you had the privilege of being loved by this cat. The day will come when the good memories are foremost in your mind instead of the pain of her loss.

One of the things that makes it harder when we lose a pet, is that there is not a lot of understanding and support in society for grieving for pets. If you were crying in public, and someone asked you why, they might be all too likely to respond, "Geez, it's been months, why don't you get a new cat and get over it." But if it were a human family member who had died, even a stranger would say, "That's so hard, of course you are not over it yet. Cry all you want, just let it out." So we tend to hide our pain in public, and even around friends and family.

Here is a website that I found very helpful: http://www.petloss.com/ - they have the Rainbow Bridge story, and other inspirational readings there. They also have support forums and chat. In chat they do the "Monday Night Candle Ceremony" which is a beautiful memorial service, that might do you a world of good to participate in. Even if you can't make it to the chat room when they are holding it, the text of it is online so that you can read through it and light the candles by yourself if you choose to. They also have a list of books and articles that might help you, as well.

It is always really hard to let go of the cute creatures we have come to love over the years. Sometimes it is even harder to let go of a pet over the passing of a family member. What you need to remember is that she lived a good life, and a greater than average one as well. The average life span of a cat is 15 years. It sounds like you treated her very well, probably even spoiled her like I do to my cats. Just remember all of the fond memories, all the times you shared together and bonded. Writing is often times very therapeutic. Try writing everything you can remember about her from the moment you laid eyes on her. Write it like a novel, a recount of her life. Document all the cute things she did, everything you could remember, everything you worried about, all the little details that made you love her. And remember, time always heals. It will take some time, but eventually you will let her go, and always cherish her in your heart and hold her there forever. She is in cat heaven now, and you will meet again in the next life (because G-d does not distinguish between people heaven and creature heaven. We will all meet up in the next life.)

18 years, 9 months and a DAY!!!! Wow!!! I pray that my lil buddy Bradley be by my side close to as many years... How blessed you were! Try remembering all those wonderful moments you had to have had with her. Sure you are going to miss her. 18 years, 9 months and 1 day you had her with you... You obviously took excellent care of her and if you had it your way, I am sure she would have lived forever! All those years that you had her... well, it was almost forever!

Enjoy all those memories. My lil Bradley is just over 1 year old and I adore him so much; every now and again I imagine something happening to him and my heart hurts at the thought of it. Write me and tell me all the things you did to keep him soooooo healthy so I can hope for 18 years, 9 months and 1 day to love him! All I can think is how lucky you were to have him for such a life time! God Bless you and all those beautiful memories you have of her.

I know exactly how you feel, my cat age 23 years died last month and it is heartbreaking, it gets better with time, but when you grow up with an animal and as an adult have to make the decision to let her pass over, it is absolutly heart wrentching., I found talking to people who had been through the same thing helped, crying lots and lots helped too, you have to get it all out!!

There are some wonderful people on here that will help you through it with kind words, they helped me alot when I needed them.

I have given you a couple of links that i hope will help you, take care x

Poem

I will lend to you for awhile a kitten, God said.

For you to love while he lives, and mourn when he's dead.

Maybe for twelve or fourteen years, or maybe two or three.

But will you, 'till I call him back, take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you and, should his stay be brief

You'll always have his memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return.

But there are lessons taught below I want this kitten to learn.

I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true.

And from the folk that crowds life's land I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain?

Nor hate me when I come to take my kitten home again?

I fancied that I heard them say 'Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done'

For all the joys this kitten brings the risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may.

And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.

But should you call him back much sooner than we planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.

If, by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve,

Then in memory of him whom we loved, please help us while we grieve.

When our cherished kitten departs this world of strife,

Please send yet another needing soul for us to love all his life.

Author Unknown

YOUR PET LOVED YOU VERY MUCH . do not ever forget that. ! you gave her the best life , she could ever have . remember all the good things & the love you both had. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THEW. and someday i will go threw it again. in time it will get better. good luck to you , ,,,,