How to convince someone to seek professional help?

Question

I'm 19 almost 20 and I'm dating a 36 year old man. I am in university and work a part time job to pay the rent. He doesn't have a job, he sits at home all day playing guitar hero. He's extremely depressed so I cook, clean, pay the bills and the rent. On weekends I bake him his favourite cookies to try to cheer him up. 

I have suggested he go seek professional help. I even said I would help pay for it. (I told him I would use some of my student loan money) He says that he doesn't have the energy to talk about his feelings to a complete stranger. 

He's a sweet guy, and I feel bad for him but I am getting tired. I don't want to leave him in his time of need, but I feel obliged to stay until he can get up on his feet. 

Tell me how do I convince him to seek professional help? A part of me wants to just leave him and say screw it. But I would feel like an awful person and you shouldn't leave people in their time of need right? I would feel awful if he commited suicide and I don't know if I'd be able to forgive myself for the rest of my life.

? · Accepted Answer

Aww sweetie. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Clearly you care about this man very much. However, If he has not done anything for himself in 36 yrs, he is simply not going to. My gut is telling me that he is taking advantage of you. I'm not saying that he is not depressed, but he has to help himself. There is nobody that can do this for him. You are young and have a big heart. Please give it to someone who will deserve it and give his back to you. You are missing out on so very much by taking care of him. Leaving him would not make you an awful person and he needs to get on his feet by himself. I have seen so much of this and it never turns out well. Leave. Go live your life the way you should be at your age.. I hope this has helped in some small way and I wish you the best of luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him to get a job or leave? I don't see why that is so hard. If you stay with him this current situation, before you know it you will be 36 while pulling double shift at McDonalds and he will be a 52 year old drunk who beats you.

Caesar · Answer

sad story, I think you not helping him in his problem the fact you continue to do everything for him make him more lasy of doing things, you have to be hard with him let him know you cant take it any more let him know that you will not support his lasyness any more , let him wake up from his day light dream, he acted like a handycap because you provide everything so why bother to work

girl sorry to tell you this you are enjoying what you doing leting him deppend on you it give you pleasure I think

Forlorn Hope · Answer

dump him... he's a sad loser!!!

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How to convince someone to seek professional help?

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