Mother not interested in my wedding?

I'm really sorry, it's unfortunate your mom is taking an initiative in something that could bond you two and make memories.

Continue to keep her updated about things, but if you're talking to her and she's zoning out--- just stop and change the subject. Don't let her disinterest RUIN any relationship you do have.

Are you close with your future mother in law? Start inviting her along! It's nice to have a mother figure around. If not, invite your best friend or Maid of Honor along and have her help you with decisions, etc...

I think your mom will regret not having more of an interest down the road. Try to enjoy the time you have in planning your wedding. Also, talk out any frustrations with your fiance... he's your best friend and biggest supporter!

That sucks. If I were you I would just go ahead with the planning on your own. If money is an issue check with places you normally wouldn't to save on costs (like the dollar store you can find simple things like centerpieces for...well...$1). You can also go with fake flowers instead of real for the bridesmaids bouquets. I strongly recommend doing this for the boutonnieres and corsages for the mothers as well - they are super easy to make and Michael's has awesome looking flowers to make it work. I am sure your MOH and/or bridesmaids can make the time for support, going with you to plan and getting your dress...Make your own invitations - that saves alot too!

For the part about just having your not mother wanting to do these things with you...that just sucks. One thing I have learned though growing up with an older sibling, you never get treated the same. My sister got many things that I didn't get. She got her first car, I had to pay for mine. She got rides to work when she got a job and didn't have a car yet, I had to walk or get a ride from someone else. The thing is, there is a reason for sibling rivalry...it happens when you compare yourself to the other. I spent my whole adolescent life trying not to have my teachers compare me to my sister going through school because I was "never as good as she was". That sparked my rebellion towards everyone when I was a teenager. The point is comparing yourself with your sibling is bad news especially when everyone else is already doing it.

I think its great that you are a strong person who can handle your independence from your parents without their financial support. The fact is there is nothing you can do to change how your mom is acting. She will have to do that on her own. The best you can do is keep providing her information with the stuff she is missing out on and reminding her that this is only going to happen once and while you would love her to be involved so she can witness all these great things, its happening regardless and she is about to miss it.

Good luck with your planning, congrats on the upcoming wedding, and be happy about it because remember this is a day for you and your fiance that will be special and you want to remember forever. If your mom wont be a part of it then just make the best of it. Sorry hon, I wish I had a better answer.

Sometimes the adult children who grow up and become independent are the ones who get the shaft... in attention, in gifts, in inheritance, you name it. I think some parents justify that because their adult children are successful, they should give more attention to the one who "needs" more. Ironically, it gives the needier adult child an excuse to stay dependent.

If you read "The Millionaire Next Door," there's a whole chapter on dependent adult children. I'm sorry your mother is being this way... it sucks. Maybe in some ways she's jealous of you. Maybe she always wanted to be an independent career woman, but she had kids instead. So she is buddy-buddy with your sister because she identifies with your sisters choices more. I don't know your family situation, so I'm just speculating.

Anyway, your wedding isn't about your mom. Getting married is about starting a NEW family with the person you love. When you have kids, you can avoid repeating your mother's mistakes.

Planning a wedding is a really stressful crazy time that will be full of drama. If your mom is going to be like that, just try your best to ignore it and worry about other things. My mom treats me different from my sister too. She hated my now husband. I'm not sure why. A mom couldn't ask for her daughter to find a better guy. My sister would take home chain smoking wackos that treated her like a piece of meat and my mom loved them! It's not fair and it's often painful but I've found attempts to change or even ask why are futile. I've learned to ignore it as best I can. Lean on your fiancee for support. That's what he's there for.

Parents suck. This is a pretty classic tale. I think you should just be proud that you are more independent and are about to get married and your sisters life sucks because she has to live with your boring mom. Your probably never going to get what you want out of your mom so you might just want to learn from the mistakes she is making with you and never treat your kids unfairly.

Just try to stay focused on your own life and be happy. If she doesnt want to be involved, its her loss. She may be stricken with jealousy as you have your getting married and have your youth. Good luck.

I have 6 months until my wedding and I am still trying to get my parents to acknowledge it. They tell everyone about how their daughter is getting married...but they haven't helped with ANYTHING!!!! If it makes you feel any better my mother didn't help my purchase my gown...I purchased my gown, shoes, veil, wedding band for my fiance and tons of other things so far without her help. In the end it is just going to make you are stronger person for it, and one day your mother will look back and see how much she didn't help you (and will probably make her feel guilty). So i am sorry to hear about you situation, but there are a ton of brides out there that have to purchase EVERYTHING themselves. Good luck!

If I'm understanding what you wrote, it sounds like your sister hits on your mom for money or other resources like living with her.

I think your mom is afraid that you will be like your sister needing money, etc. So that's why she's not offering to help out on the dress. $600 is a lot.

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sounds like your mom's playing favorites. it's a shame but some parents can't help themselves. so you have to re-set your expectations of what you're going to get out of your mom for the rest of your life. if you expect less from your mom, you won't be disappointed. in fact if she does cough up money for the wedding, you'll be pleasantly surprised. but right now you have a sense of entitlement about what she's 'supposed' to do for your wedding and that's probably not going to happen. for dress shopping, planning etc you need to rely on your bridesmaids now and involve them more. or other female family members like aunts or cousins.

First, when is your wedding? I think often brides find that their family is not interested in the early planning stages . . . but they frequently grow more interested as the time for the wedding becomes closer.

You write: she didn't offer a dime to help

Uh, why should she? You and your groom are independent adults. As adults who are mature enough to wed, you are mature enough to pay for your own wedding.

I think brides and grooms sometimes forget that while parents may volunteer to assist . . . it is not required. One cannot expect or demand the parents' financial assistance.

You write: Which kinda hurts me because if I were my sister then my mother would be all about it

So who promised you life would be fair? Guess what? Sometimes parents or other family members play favorites. It happens. Not much you can do about it.

You be the independent adult you are claiming to be. You turn to your groom, your close friends, and helpful family members for emotional support . . . if you need support. If mom is not helpful, then you turn to others.

Good luck with your planning.

At this time I would have done the temper tantrum bit, to get her going.

Tell yourself, she is not ready at this time, but she'll get around when the time comes, WILL get around by then.

If you need the money, try to find someone who can give you a loan, even your fiance or Gparents.