What costs should the bride pay for her bridesmaids?

Depends on where you live.

Since you are in the UK, you are to pay for their dresses and everything. At the minimum, you should pay for their dresses. If you can afford it, shoes too. If not, tell them they can wear a pair they already own. If you have more money left, treat them to a visit to the salon with you the morning of the wedding. Let them wear their own jewelry.

In the U.S., bridesmaids typically pay for their own dress. But some brides do purchase the dress for them.

The rehearsal dinner should be paid for by the bride without a doubt. The other things sound like fun ideas, albeit economically strenuous. Perhaps you and the other bridesmaids should sit down and decide what you think is most important to the bride. To me it sounds like she really wants everyone to look the same on the wedding day, so spring for the alterations and makeup, etc. Explain to the bride that although you are all willing to be there for her and help her with anything she needs, it is simply not financially feasible to stay in a hotel so close to home, and go to fancy restaurants and spa trips. Also, you may try to compromise and have you or some of the other bridesmaids hold small, inexpensive luncheons at your homes instead of said cafe. It is a stressful time for the bride right now, as you know, and though she may overreact at first, I'm sure she'll come to her senses! Good Luck!

Unless you have told them from the start that they have to chip in, you should pay for everything. When I was bridesmaid and when my daughter got married, the bridesmaids didn't have to fork out a penny; dress, shoes, hair, flowers was all provided. I think it's unreasonable to ask a bridesmaid to fork out for her own outfit or accessories. It's even more unreasonable if you haven't made that clear from the start and given them the chance to accept or decline.

In every wedding I was a bridesmaid (I was three times) the bridesmaid have to pay for their own dress.

The bride generally pays for them to get their hair done and for a gift for them... and also any wedding costs, such as bouquets, etc. Although the last wedding I was in made us all appointments at the salon and then made us pay for our own hair... which I thought was kind of tacky.

My wife (or rather her parents) paid for the dresses (as they were not everyday wear), the hotel and things like flowers etc.

If we were going to get married in Australia, I would imagine we would have to pay for their air fare as well, but I can see why many would not. Though by air fare, it would be the cheapest flights that we could arrange! I guess you could share the air fare if you were going to contribute. As for hotel stay in Australia, I guess you could pay for two nights. We paid for hotel stay as it was one night only. Doing things if you are going to fly to Australia to get married are going to be a bit different I guess.

And congratulations!

Unless the bride is letting the bridesmaids wear every day dresses that they can wear to other events, she should pay everything. I've always refused to be a bridesmaid because I don't have a spare $500-$800 to blow on a bride for her wedding day. I was in my sister's wedding because she paid for everything except my plane fare (I stayed in my parent's hotel room). Call me a grinch if you wish, but I graduated college without a huge debt for a reason. I didn't waste hundreds of dollars of my money on one-day events. Instead, I gave all my friends and family who married hand made afghans (which I could afford) and attended their weddings as a guest.

You buy their outfits, and also provide them with a small thank you gift.

However, you could reasonably expect them to provide their own outfits.