Husband won't take great job offer, would rather stay in college?

Shannon is apparently a know it all who cannot read. He missed the part where your husband was offered 150K.

Here is the deal: Your husband is tied up in his own ego. He wants the highest level piece of paper to prove something to others. He is doing it at your expense even though he immaturely decided to have a wife and child he cannot support before making this decision. Six years is highly unreasonable and there is absolutely no reason you should have to be borrowing money for food. He can go to night school and get his degree in ten years if he has to but to let you suffer so much pressure is ridiculous.

What gets me is this: He says that if he has to quit college now his life will be over and he will never be happy. That is sure not someone who feels blessed and rewarded by his family AND CERTAINLY not someone who is considering how resentful YOU will be if it is only his dreams that matter.

Tell him to grow the hell up and take care of his family. He should be ashamed of himself even considering giving up a 150K job and borrowing money for food. What a narcissist.

Put your daughter first. Your daughter is your flesh and blood. Your husband is obligated to support you and your daughter.

$150 K a year , your husband won't take the job??

Is your husband a snob? If he gets a job, he can still be interested in Archeology as a hobby. He can use his vacation once a year to go to an archeology site. But take the job.

Really, $30 K is tough to live on for a family. What if you want to have more kids? And even if you just have one daughter, it gets more expensive as she gets older. The clothes will cost more, the school supplies. Your husband has a BA. Has he thought about how he is going to pay for his daughter's education?

If he took the job for $150K, he could spend $100 K on getting a nice home and supporting his family, and still have money left to pursue archeology as a hobby. Seriously, your husband needs to get real.

That's not a real job.

Geologist get chewed-up and spit out by the big-oil companies.

You are either their lying congressional whore or you have to work under incredible pressure deciding where and when to drill and the pay is incentive based and you get canned if you can't perform.

They take graduates for the jobs because they need naive people to suck into the job.

If your husband is the geological equivalent of 'House', this is the job for him. And the company has to rifle through all the possible geologist they can to try to find the 'House's. The world does depend on these guys but there's only a matter of dozens that can hack it. 50 people out of 6,000,000,000. Your husband would know if he was one of them. ****, you would know.

Is he hands-down the smartest person you have ever met and do you believe you will never in your life-time met anyone more capable?

Can he handle the most stressful situations with poise and does he consistently make good, accurate, optimal decisions under such intense stress?

Does he always win? Even when he "loses" does he come out better off?

Sorry, the above people calling him names are naive.

On top of that he will rarely be home.

Divorce rates for corporate geologist is the highest in the world - there's just not that many of them so they make the top list like therapist, psychiatrist, & marriage counselors (isn't that ironic).

If you are religious, the order is God, Husband, Self, Family.

If you're not religious the order is Husband, Self, Family.

What kind of job do you have?

My wife worked full-time to pay the bills while I finished my degree.

Then I finished it and she hasn't needed to work since.

Even a minimum-wage job pays for day-care. It gets cheaper as they age. You only have to 'make it' another three years then your daughter will start school and the day-care cost drops again.

If you are good at it, watch other toddlers - your marketable skill is 'primary care provider'.

Several young mothers in our neighborhood do it.

A BA in geology isn't worth much - he has to get the Ph.D. or $30k-$40k is all he's ever going to make.

You have to endure the short-term hardship for the long-term stability.

Often couples in your situation find roommates - e.g. another Ph.D. seeking couple + child.

He can have both, my boyfriend works pretty high up in a company and is currently getting his MBA. If this isn't possible for him than I would have to say that he needs to take that job, the change between 30K to 150K is substantial especially if you are struggling with money than this would ultimately be the best decision. Also because he is close to 30 and has a family, taking the job would be the wisest decision, and think about the economy. I think you should convince him to get take the job for the betterment of your family.

I had a first hand witness in my own family where my brother-in-law "followed his dream". Long story short, it was a freakin mess. Your husband has to grow up and realize he has a family to support. What does he even hope to accomplish when he is 36 years old, with no experience in what he hopes to do for a living. He will not make his money back in Archeology. Sit down with him, tell him to man up and take the offer.

Some people never know when to grow up so you should try and help him. He should not have a kid, if he is not willing to support him/her. I can think of many cases where my friends and family threw away good paying jobs because it was "boring", and now I can guarantee they are regretting it.

in my first marriage, i took a 70% paycut to be a H.S teacher. (don't worry, not english)

my marriage didn't survive that 70% paycut. even though my wife at the time made six figures, my 40k per year start didn't help to her life style. she dumped my @ss.

so, i got remarried, and we had kids right away... by this time, i was making 60k as a teacher, but that wasn't nearly enough to support a family and a wife in nursing school. this past summer, I took a job, doing what i was doing before, along with the 2nd part time job i've always had... and no, they still don't add to 150k per year, but pretty close. It's not about me at this point, it's about raising a family and having my family live comfortably.

your husband is a selfish @sshole.

He sounds like an incredibly narcissistic individual who doesn't want to grow up. He is probably enjoying the college life and basking in his 20+ friends (guys and girls). He can work and go to college at nights. He doesn't have to quit altogether. He is not giving up his dream, merely postponing the outcome for a bit to be a responsible father and husband.

Sweetie, "K D" has your answer. You need to be firm with him on this. He can continue his doctorate with evening classes but he needs to live up to his responsibilities now! Not in six years.

MY EX WAS THIS WAY. HE HAS BEEN IN SCHOOL FOR 16 YEARS. GLAD IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS STUDENT LOANS. I THINK HE IS CRAZY HE IS 45 SOME CANT GROW UP