Adoptees who have had their own children, what's the bond like?

Absolutely incredible! I had my babies before I reunited with my natural family and when the eldest was born, it was the most amazing feeling to meet the only blood-related person I knew.

Once reunited, it's amazing watching the habits and traits they've inherited from my natural family. One of my twins is like a clone of her grandmother and has taken great joy in placing photos side by side of Gramma at her age and her current pictures, so cute.

My daughter has some real funny habits and when I caught my natural uncle displaying the same behavior I laughed so hard it hurt. He was like "what, what, what'd I do?" and I was like "my daughter does that!"

These things may not seem like a big deal to people who take blood relatives for granted, but to me these little things bring great joy and warm my heart

ETA Original Coke, well duh! of course it is. you don't get it and apparently never will. rolls eyes

I'm not an adoption expert, so I'm only giving my experience and opinion here. I was also adopted as an infant and I have a son who is 3 now. Our bond is healthy. We're an average family. I don't really know what else to say to describe how our bond is. I don't feel our bond is any stronger or weaker because of my adoption. Adoption affects people in a lot of different ways, so one person's experience could be completely different from someone elses. I never really had any identity or security issues with my adoption. I've always considered my adoptive parents to be my own parents. It sounds like he's coming from a different perspective. (Understand, I'm not saying either is good or bad, just different.) I think the best thing you can do is to ask him. If he's anxious about dealing with his feelings about adoption specifically, hopefully he can get them out in the open and discuss it with you. Congratulations on your new one and good luck.

Oh, I love this question. It is AMAAAAAAAAZING. Seriously. Looking into the eyes of my oldest daughter for the first time was the most profound experience of my life. She was my first real relative.

I know that others roll their eyes at this and say oh it is the same with non adopted babies, or it is the same when you hold an adopted child. I've heard that a hundred times. But I wasn't blown away just by the fact that she was born...I had that with my other two. I was blown away by the fact that she was my OWN people. God, so hard to explain.

Now I have three and the process of seeing our characteristics in them still just amazes me. Non-adopted people grow up their whole lives hearing "you look like your mom, you are like your grandma, you are like this side of the family" and so on. I think they take the power of genetics for granted because they have lived with it their whole lives. Adoptees don't. I am amazed everyday by how my kids are like me and each other because I never had that. The first time someone called and confused my voice for my daughters was so cool. For me, I didn't care much whether I was adopted or not, until I had my own kids. It was then that I began to see what I had missed.

Absolutely amazing experience. I didn't get to spend nearly as much time with my firstborn after she was born as I would have liked, she needed to be in an incubator and then she got jaundice, but the time I was able to spend with her, after counting all her fingers and toes, I marveled that this child was blood of my blood, the first blood relative I had ever seen. It was like it almost hurt physically to be away from her, and I had never ever felt that bond with anyone else prior to that. With my 2nd, it was a different kind of intensity, but deep and life altering all the same.

How did it feel? It felt amazing, primal, and life affirming, and it still does. Even when they are annoying the socks off me ;)

It was amazing to see each of my own children for the first time. It was the only time that I'd ever laid eyes on a blood relative. It just "was". I don't know how to describe it. It was just the most amazing feeling. Beautiful, complicated, strange... all at once. It was like I had met another member of my "species" for the first time.

This is a beautiful question and the answers have me spellbound.

It puts things in such perspective to read about the first known blood relatives being your own children. As good as I think adoption CAN be...it sure does break the chain doesn't it?

Thanks. I pray our son experiences this unique connection when he's older.

i think ppl who have been adopted will have a stronger bond with their baby than a regular person, because it is the first person that ur really related to.

The CONNECTION between any natural mother and their child is amazing....it has nothing to do with being an adoptee.

The birth of a child is a miracle, and most mothers feel this way.

Your question doesn't apply to me but i did notice that you other question was deleted. You should receive an email about it and what guidelines you "violated." My guess is all those people who advertise that they are looking to adopt reported you for "ranting." If you get the email appeal it!!!