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How do I get my laid-back mother-in-law to understand I need to make plans?
My fiance's mother and brother live 4 hours away. They are coming for the holidays, but won't lock in a date or time of their arrival. They often do this and I try not to stress too much because it's just their laid-back personalities, but my extended family doesn't understand. This time we will be going to my Aunt's for Christmas Eve dinner. She wants to know how many people to expect and I don't blame her. But my fiance's family keeps saying they will be here "christmas eve or early christmas day". He won't press them for an exact date. How can I ask his mother to tell me when she'll definitely be here without being rude? I've already said "well my aunt needs to know if you're coming christmas eve". Her response was "if we're not there by then we'll be there for christmas"...ugh!
6 Answers
- xKLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Ask her if she would like to attend your aunt's dinner. If she says yes, tell her what time she is expected to be here. If she says no or gives you another cryptic answer, tell her the front door key will be under the rock and to let themselves in!
- clarityLv 71 decade ago
If you're close enough to your aunt, I'd get her to call your fiance's mother and extend a personal invitation to her and her son. That way, your aunt can put the pressure on as needed, but do it in a polite way. If your fiance's mother still hedges, then it will be up to your aunt how she wants to handle it. I'm sure she won't mind doing it if you're close to her.
- kim hLv 71 decade ago
You make plans without them. If they come you tell them that they would not say if they would be there or not so you said no. You cannot let them do this to you and the only way to stop it is for them to sit at your house alone while you go on about your plans. Do not revolve your plans around them. They will be mad but they will give you a time next time. If they do not, continue to not worry about them.
- CoeyGLv 71 decade ago
First of all, she isn't your mother in law. She is your fiance's mother, period. It is up to your fiance to get her to "nail down" a date and time, if he can't get her to do so tell your aunt NOT to plan on them being there period, if they show up they will have to do without and spend whatever time you are at your aunt's by themselves.
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- Dear Jane...Lv 71 decade ago
Just tell your aunt they will be there. She can have the extra settings and feel good about that. That's all she needs is preparation. If they don't show, then it makes THEM look bad for "telling you" they would be there...this is not your fault either.
- ?Lv 41 decade ago
she clearly doesn't have a schedule so you make her work with a schedule you provide for her.
