What to do with 17 yr old son?

well, im a girl ,and younger than your son, but sometimes something makes you so angry or hopeless that you have to act that way. like its usually not a little thing that makes someone that way..it had to be important, whatever it was. like i dont want to start making u paranoid but it could be hes gay. (not likely, but it could be something really big. like he feels trapped, or angry. you just have to talk to him and say 'look, its okay, whatever it is. you have to do some serious talking to get to him. probably. and also more discipline ewww i sound like the lamest teenager ever but he cant do drugs if he doesnt get the chance to. i hope that helped answer mine please? i need help

im a high school senior so the thing about college applications i get like a lot of seniors get really excited about going to college till senior year cause its so much to do and not a lot of time it took me so long to start filling out college applications and even though i have now and been accepted to some places i still dont know where im going . So he probably is nervous bout the whole college experience and the whole being ill thing all the time tell me one senior thats not it to me beacuse its our last year of school and we think where grown and can do what we wanna do and dont have to listen and nobody can tell us nothing acause we know everything. So honestly thats just being the parent of a high school senior so just try talking to him and let him know your his mom and u love him and willl be there for him no matter what. He probably just needs to hear that with all the stress he is going through. Let me know how it goes.

In all honesty this makes me mad reading this. If your son says things like "I will get back at you by doing drugs" he has something wrong with his brain. (No offense) He may be bipolar but he may be just experiencing some weird hormonal stuff or just have personal problems. Your son has NO RIGHT to talk you that way. I know you guys want to be his parents and friends but it comes to a certain point where you really have to just be the parent and put your foot down. If he threatens you then be like "you seriously think your going to hurt us by doing drugs?! Well your only going to hurt yourself." If your son doesn't have a job cut off his allowance.

Another way to approach this is to just talk to him about it. Try to figure out what is really bothering him or try taking him to a therapist. I personally think therapists are expensive ways to let your feelings out to a complete stranger but then again it works for many people. Try taking him to a doctor to see if he is bipolar or not too because he shouldn't be having violent outbursts towards you. ESPECIALLY towards you because your his mom and he should respect his parents and not be a jerk. (Once again no offense)

hi there

my parents had the same problem with my brother at that age

do u have any family who will take him in 4 a while? u could simply just lay down the law... "get ur sh*t together or p*ss off. " Tell him if he tries that violent stuff again u'll ring the police, but tell him when hes calm.When hes moping around tell him he looks "lost"

dont let him get to yous mentally, thats what he wants... tell the rest of the family to ignore his negativity and give a smile when he says something stupid.. it will show him hes living in his own world and hell soon see (if yous ignore him, (go out with the family together without him a few times) its a lonely and depresing one. next time he says... " If you don't get me everything I want, then I will use drugs just to get back at you". reply with... "ur becoming a man now, i hope u make the righ decisions and become a good one."

I hope this helps... the main thing is to not let him get to the family mentally and emotionaly... hes just going thruogh a phase, hopefully hell snap out of it sooner rather than later

Good Luck

where are his friends and his activities? what has he been doing for the last 17 years that he has just now only started locking himself away?

yes. it is true boys especially are very afraid of the unknown. that is why junior college nearby while still liiving at home is an excellent idea. he may be wholly not ready to live away from home. in my experience, boys need a lot of help with college applications. it is hard for even the parents to understand how to fill them out. did you know this? have you been involved at all? or are you on autopilot? what about dad? does dad and son have something they do together as friends, like football games or fishing? if not they should asap. so they can relax and talk together without pressure or expectations. man to man.

your son is judging you, and the world around him. dont take offense. it is his way of making sense of todays violent, frightening, overwhelming world. say, yes, i did that, and you were the best thing i ever did, and repeat over and over.

your son is a man and yet a boy. this will reach an apex at 19 20 and continue until he is about 23 and he wont be fully mature until he is 26. now that you know this biological fact, you can relax and give him the time he needs. boys are more..fragile than girls and their hormones make them overreact. it does calm down. he will tend to want to talk more to his dad. make sure dad is available. take the 'treating me horribly' off the table, mom, and give him understanding, respect and love. really. i hope you are not shocked i said that. just try it. dont react to his anger. his anger is hormones and a natural desire to detach from mom. actually, i have learned it is even normal at this age. tell him, "i understand." see the long term, and tell him, you are valuable to us, and we believe in you and want the best for you. and then see where it goes.

i do not believe in 'making them learn from their mistakes'. i do believe in the work of tony robbins, he has written many books about achievement, they are worth looking at. also stephen covey.

if you could, directiing his energy towards a job, friends, activities, sports, a club, is good at this age. too much computer is not good. can you move the computer into the kitchen?

my son is 26. he went to an all boys school. i have seen an entire generation of guys who were all elbows and hormones become fine, fine men. if you had seen the idiotic things his best friend did at your sons age, the friend who was accepted to..harvard. well, that is how it is with boys!!! it takes patience, long term understanding, and above all, steadfast commitment to their future and success. however long it takes. just like all babies come off diapers, young men do all grow up. if you had seen my son back then, flunking classes, taking one college course 3 times, all of the angst.... and how he is now, a fine man with a great job and friends and confidence, well, that is what happens. they grow up. dont give up, he needs you, it is worth it in the end.

a word about nutrition. firm believer in steak dinners, kids need extra b12 found in steak, red meat. also, kids today drink coffee, makes them stay up, maybe he is. lots of protein, veggies, good food, mom.

i am passing this to you in the same way the older moms passed it to me back when.

I think that he's just going through the teen stage. I had that little stage and I always wanted to be away from my family. Of course it was temporarily. Are you positive that he's not on drugs? I don't want to make you think that he is, but it's always best to be sure. The main thing that you could is talk to him and and find out what is really going on with him. I know it's difficult, but if you've been able to talk to him for the past 16, you should be able to talk to him now.

Legally you can still have him committed for evaluation and I would suggest you do so. But before doing so, force him to submit to a drug test to rule out that possibility. It is apparent that he poses a physical threat to you and those around him. You need to do this asap. Or, the next time he hits you or become belligerent, call the police and let them determine if he needs to be temporarily committed for evaluation for a few days. Once they take him to the hospital, seek the services of a lawyer to handle the commitment paperwork.

You slapped him, which is wrong. Your husband hit him, which is wrong. You can't hit your kids. By hitting him, he will learn to hate you.

His sleep cycle isn't going to be normal. Most kids don't have normal sleep cycles. Don't worry when he threatens to use drugs. He's just talking.

Just let him cool off, don't be too restrictive of him for a while.

Apologize for hitting him, explain to him (in a calm way, no tears, no shouting) how what he says hurts you.

If he doesn't get better, maybe you need to see a therapist.

well...if his behavior is ongoing..

then he's not bipolar..

um...

i agree.. he needs to get hit harder,,

i think he's already on drugs...

try taking to a detention center

or even a prison....if not pay NO attention to him

CARE for him [food, necessary clothing]

but do not give any unneeded attention...

take away everything that makes life easy for him

this worked for me >im actually a girl using my fathers e-mail<

i punished MYSELF by taking away EVERYTHING that made my life easy.....

iPod, Computer, T.V., even reading books for fun...

it made me realize what i really should be paying attention to in my life

instead of running around thinking that everyone is obligated to me..and that's

probably what your son is thinking right now..so just try it :]